by Shelley | Jan 18, 2021 | Healthy Aging
As we close the book on the tumultuous year that was 2020, many people continue to experience a great deal of stress. While the COVID-19 pandemic persists, there are a variety of reasons to feel anxious. Uncertainty about a vaccine, worries about exposure, and isolation are among the most common.
Because chronic stress is linked to health issues ranging from headaches and weight gain to diabetes and heart disease, it’s important to learn healthy ways to navigate tough times. When you don’t have positive ways of coping, unhealthy behaviors are more likely to develop.
Many people find regular journaling eases stress. It can be a productive way to sort out your feelings, focus on your blessings, and keep grounded. In fact, University of Texas at Austin psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker believes regular journaling may even improve your health.
Journaling your feelings and fears helps you find solutions and peace. It can strengthen your immune system, increasing your odds of fighting off infections and staying healthy.
How and Why You Should Journal
One study highlighted the importance of journaling about what is really getting you down. Researchers found that 47% of patients with a chronic health condition experienced improvement in their physical and emotional well-being after writing honestly about what was impacting their lives. In contrast, people who journaled solely about everyday activities only had a 24% improvement. The bottom line was writing about what really hurts is difficult but meaningful.
If you’ve never tried journaling before, here’s some advice for getting started:
- Your journal doesn’t have to be expensive or particularly beautiful. While something nice to write in might entice you to journal more, even a spiral notebook will work.
- Journal at least four times a week to document your fears and hopes. Twenty to thirty minutes at a time is optimal for many people.
- Write without stopping; don’t worry about spelling and grammar. Just keep going.
- Write this for your eyes only. You’ll be more inclined to be open and honest if you don’t worry about what others might think.
- If writing about something makes you too upset, stop. Take a break and try again another day.
The Therapeutic Value of Journaling When You are a Caregiver offers more tips on journaling for better health. While written for family caregivers, much of the advice can be applied to anyone.
Heritage Responds to the COVID-19 Pandemic
At Heritage Senior Communities, we understand how fearful people are of being exposed to the coronavirus. Older adults are at highest risk for serious health consequences if they develop it. Coronavirus Precautions has tips to help you reduce your chances of being exposed, as well as information on our communities’ prevention measures. As conditions change, so will our response.
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | May 16, 2016 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
If you have ever kept a diary, you probably already know the clarity getting your thoughts down on paper can bring. Writing is a therapeutic form of self-expression known to relieve anxiety and stress.
The Therapeutic Value of Journaling for Caregivers
Caring for aging parents or another senior loved one can be tough on many different levels. There are moments of joy and then there are times of sadness. The rollercoaster of emotions is often difficult to manage.
Journaling is one tool family caregivers can use to process their own feelings and record life events. It provides family caregivers a safe place to honestly record their innermost thoughts.
Words that Heal
Journaling can also be a powerful healing tool for caregivers. A few common benefits include:
- Physical Health: Journaling positively impacts physical well-being. Research shows it can reduce symptoms of chronic diseases like arthritis and asthma.
- Reduce Anxiety and Stress: Caregivers may experience a wide range of emotions every day from sorrow and despair to joy and gratitude. Writing can help you understand and process difficult feelings like anger and resentment. It can also allow you to find moments of happiness amidst the toughest days of caregiving.
- Personal Time: Every family caregiver needs a few minutes of personal time every day. Journaling is a way to slow down and focus on your own feelings and fears.
- Problem-solving: Writing your worries down on paper allows you to access the right side of the brain. It’s the part of your brain where creative thought comes from. Let’s say you’ve been struggling with how to talk with your mother about her diabetes and the impact a poor diet is having on her health. After journaling about the problem, you may realize one solution is to talk with your mom about moving to a Michigan senior living community. Healthy meals that meet her dietary restrictions will be provided for her.
Journaling Prompts about Caregiving
If you would like to give journaling a try but aren’t quite sure how to get started, this exercise will help.
Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes once every day. Use the time to write freely and to complete each of the following sentences:
- Today I feel…
- I’m looking forward to…
- I’m worried about…
- I’m grateful for…
Remember, when you are a caregiver, it’s important to make an extra effort to take care of you. By caring for your own health and well-being, you can be present to more fully care for your senior loved one.
by Shelley | Nov 27, 2024 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
Every year after the holidays are over, I find myself feeling down. As an older woman living alone, winter can be tough. I’ve become an anxious driver in recent years, so I tend to stay close to home. While my daughter is great about calling and chatting over video, she lives in California, far from my Michigan home.
I’m determined to avoid my post-holiday blues this year. Do you have any tips that might help me more successfully navigate the season?
Sincerely,
Connie in Douglas, MI
Ideas to Help Seniors Beat the Post-Holiday Blues
Dear Connie:
Older adults often share your sentiment after seasonal festivities have ended. As the excitement of the season fades, many seniors may grapple with feelings of loneliness and isolation. But there are strategies you can employ to cope with the post-holiday blues and regain a sense of joy and purpose in your daily life.
- Acknowledge your feelings.
The first step in coping with post-holiday blues is to acknowledge and validate these feelings. It’s normal to experience a sense of loss after the holidays, especially if family gatherings and celebrations were significant. Seniors should allow themselves to feel their emotions without judgment.
Journaling can be an effective outlet, providing a place to express thoughts and feelings. Writing about positive memories from the holidays can shift focus back to joyful experiences.
- Stay connected to friends and family.
Social connections play a vital role in mental well-being. After the holidays, it’s easy for seniors to experience isolation. To combat this, maintaining social networks is crucial. You could schedule regular calls or video chats with family and friends. Since you mentioned video chatting, it sounds like you are comfortable using these types of platforms. Consider using it with other friends and family that you can’t connect with as often during the winter.
- Create a productive daily routine.
The post-holiday period can make the days seem long and empty, so establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability. Seniors can create a schedule that includes regular activities such as exercise, hobbies, or social outings. Incorporating physical fitness activities, even gentle exercises like walking or yoga at home, can boost mood and energy levels. Regular routines can help fill the void left by holiday festivities and provide a sense of normalcy.
- Engage in favorite pastimes.
Pursuing hobbies can be a wonderful way to channel energy and creativity. Whether it’s painting, gardening, knitting, or playing an instrument, engaging in enjoyable activities can lift spirits. Exploring new hobbies or revisiting old ones can reignite passion and creativity. Online arts and crafts tutorials and classes can provide inspiration and a sense of accomplishment.
- Focus on mind, body, and spirit.
Physical health is closely linked to mental health, making wellness a key focus during this period. Seniors should pay attention to their nutrition, ensuring they consume balanced meals that support their overall well-being. Regular check-ups with healthcare providers can also help monitor health conditions and ensure that seniors feel their best. Additionally, practicing mindfulness or meditation can reduce stress and promote a sense of calm.
- Plan future activities and events.
One way to combat the post-holiday blues is to plan future events and activities that give you something positive to look forward to. This could include vacations with family, regional outings to popular destinations, or even a small gathering with friends. Having something to look forward to can provide motivation and excitement, helping to bridge the gap until the next holiday season.
- Limit negative media consumption.
Watching too many news reports on television or spending too much time on social media can often amplify feelings of sadness during the post-holiday period. Media can create false images of perfection and joy that can worsen feelings of loneliness. Instead, seek out uplifting content, such as inspiring books, happy movies, or podcasts that foster positivity and connection.
Seek Professional Help If Necessary
One last suggestion is to consider talking with a professional if you aren’t able to prevent persistent feelings of sadness or if you feel overwhelm for more than a few days. Some people develop a condition known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which may require medical intervention. Mental health professionals can provide support and coping strategies tailored to individual needs.
I hope these tips are helpful, Connie! I wish you the best of luck avoiding the winter blues this year. If you decide you might benefit from being part of a senior living community, I invite you to call a Heritage location near you. One of our experienced team members will be happy to set up a time for you to visit and learn more!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Oct 28, 2024 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
As the primary caregiver for my mom, I’ve learned how stressful the holidays can be. This is the third Christmas since my mother moved in with us, and I’m trying to better manage my expectations and my time.
I have two brothers who live close by, but neither has demonstrated a willingness to help. Accepting that and exploring alternatives so my family and I can still celebrate Christmas together is my leading priority. But it isn’t easy.
I’m wondering if you have any suggestions for me. I want to feel joyful, not resentful, during the holidays this year.
Sincerely,
Sharon in Saginaw, MI
Tips to Help Caregivers Enjoy the Holidays
Dear Sharon:
Caring for an aging parent can be a rewarding experience, but also a stressful one, especially during the holiday season. The pressure can be amplified when siblings don’t assist with caregiving responsibilities. I do have a few suggestions that I hope you might find helpful.
- Acknowledge your feelings.
Recognizing your emotions is the first step in coping with caregiver stress. Feelings of frustration, resentment, and loneliness are very common for the primary caregiver, especially when siblings are nearby but do not help. Try to find positive ways to express these feelings. It might be through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking professional counseling.
Having your experience validated can help reduce the emotional weight you carry. Consider joining an in-person or online caregiver support group. Connecting with others who share similar struggles can provide the validation and emotional support you need. Support group members, especially those who reside in your community, might also have ideas for connecting with volunteers or professional caregivers who can lend a hand.
While you might feel pessimistic given your brothers’ previous unwillingness to help, it might be worth having an open conversation. You may feel uncomfortable, but having a frank discussion with your siblings about your feelings and the challenges you face is essential. Approach them calmly, sharing specific examples of care responsibilities and how their lack of involvement affects you. Use “I” statements to express your feelings—e.g., “I feel overwhelmed managing mom’s care alone”—to reduce defensiveness and encourage constructive dialogue.
If you aren’t successful in convincing your siblings to help, respite care might be a solution to explore. Hiring a home care aide, even for a few hours a week, can significantly reduce your burden. If you’d like to plan a holiday getaway with your own children, respite care at an assisted living community might be the answer. Your mom can stay in a private suite or apartment and enjoy all of the same services and amenities as long-term residents. She might enjoy the opportunity to connect and socialize with peers residing at the community. From fitness programs to craft workshops and movie nights, there are a variety of daily activities to participate in.
It sounds as if you might already be doing this. Instead of focusing on what your brothers aren’t doing, try to reframe your expectations. Concentrate on what you can control and seek fulfillment in the positive aspects of caregiving, such as the bond you share with your parent. While it’s certainly not easy to accept that siblings aren’t willing to pitch in, learning to do so is probably necessary for your own well-being.
I hope this information allows you to better enjoy the holiday season ahead!
Kind regards,
Donna
Respite Care at Heritage Communities
If you are searching for respite services for a friend or family member in Michigan or Indiana, we invite you to consider a Heritage community. Call the location nearest you to schedule a private tour today!
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
For almost 9 years, I have been caregiving for my husband as he has battled cancer. More times than I can count, we have been told the end was near. In the last 2 years, I’ve been by his side constantly. I rarely see anyone except my adult children and grandchildren.
While my husband isn’t a difficult patient, he is demanding. He still sees me as the young and active person I was when he first got sick. In reality, I am exhausted to the point that I feel resentful of him and struggle to find empathy. It pains me greatly to admit that as we’ve been married almost 60 years, and I love him greatly.
Do you have any advice for helping me reset my emotions? Caregiving is such a difficult role.
Sincerely,
Shawna in Muskegon, MI
Rediscovering Empathy and Compassion While Caregiving
Dear Shawna:
First, let me begin by saying what you are experiencing is normal. That’s especially true given the length of time you’ve been a caregiver and how isolated it sounds like you’ve become. Be kind to yourself. You are on a very difficult journey.
Empathy involves more than simply feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their emotions and experiences. Here are some ways to nurture empathy:
- Practice mindfulness: Active listening and staying present can help caregivers prioritize their loved one’s feelings, fears, and joys. One way to rediscover empathy is through mindfulness practices. Taking a moment to breathe and center oneself can create space for compassion. Some caregivers find activities like meditation, walking, and even chair yoga make it easier to remain in a state of mindfulness.
- Connect with a support group: Sharing experiences with fellow caregivers can reinforce empathy. Joining an Alzheimer’s support group or otherwise engaging in conversations with people facing similar challenges creates a sense of community. Hearing similar stories of struggle can remind caregivers they aren’t alone in battling guilt and other difficult emotions. The emotional connections found in a support group can also be beneficial.
- Consider journaling: Journaling can be an invaluable tool for caregivers, offering a space to process emotions and experiences. It will give you an opportunity to reflect on daily challenges, celebrate small victories, and articulate feelings of stress or joy. Writing can help caregivers clarify their thoughts, track their loved one’s progress, and identify patterns in behavior or health. This practice allows caregivers to release pent-up emotions and gain perspective. By documenting the journey, caregivers can find connection, validation, and a deeper understanding of their role.
- Take caregiving breaks: My final, and possibly most important, tip is to accept that you need to take breaks. Many spouses find this tough, but it’s important for your own well-being and your ability to best care for your husband. Try asking your adult children to take turns caregiving for a few hours a week. Use the time to stroll through a bookstore, get a pedicure, have lunch or dinner with a friend, or head to the movies. Then, consider utilizing respite in a memory care community near your home on a regular basis. These short-term care services give caregivers a chance to recharge for a few days or weeks. You’ll know your spouse is in the hands of experienced professionals, which will make it easier to relax.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Shawna, and allow you to find peace.
Kind regards,
Donna
Schedule a Tour of a Specialized Dementia Care Program
The best way to learn more about respite care or specialized dementia care is with a personal visit and tour. With locations throughout Michigan, you’ll likely find a Heritage community near you! Call today to set up a time for your personal tour.
