by Shelley | Sep 8, 2023 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
When a senior loved one has Alzheimer’s disease, family members often pitch in to help with their care. It can be a rewarding experience. Whether it is a spouse, parent, or grandparent, providing support for a loved one helps you feel as if you are making a difference.
But caregiving can also be physically and emotionally exhausting. The unique challenges caused by the disease can leave family caregivers fatigued and worn out. It’s fairly common for loved ones to begin experiencing health issues of their own as a result.
Added to that is the emotional journey Alzheimer’s takes families on. Dementia experts often call it “the long good-bye.” It’s a fitting description of a disease that slowly robs a person of their health, independence, and memory.
The Alzheimer’s Caregiver Struggle
The demands of caring for an adult with Alzheimer’s are unique. Whether it’s worries about wandering or issues related to memory, loved ones face a variety of challenges. It can lead to feelings of uncertainty and loneliness.
Families may get embarrassed about behaviors they aren’t aware are common when a person has Alzheimer’s, such as angry outbursts in public or inappropriate comments. While friends may sympathize, they likely can’t understand and relate unless they’ve been through it.
The result is that between 40 and 70 percent of family caregivers find themselves battling depression. One way to better cope with the rollercoaster of emotions many caregivers experience is connecting with peers. Joining a caregiver support group allows you to do just that.
Benefits of Joining a Caregiver Support Group
Support groups give caregivers a judgement-free place to share guilt, fears, and frustrations. It can also be a forum for asking questions and obtaining suggestions from people who’ve faced similar challenges. You can join a support group that meets in person, such as one hosted by a specialized dementia care community or senior center, or an online group.
Some caregivers prefer an in-person meeting because of the face-to-face interaction it offers. It can be a meaningful way to connect with caregiving peers. Others are more comfortable with the anonymity of an online support group or forum. The 24/7 accessibility makes it easier for busy caregivers to participate. Caregivers can post their questions or challenges in chat forums or on message boards any time of day or night and get advice.
Here are a few online caregiver support groups to explore:
- ALZConnected: Created by the Alzheimer’s Association, this forum gives dementia caregivers access to helpful information and resources. They also host message boards and chat rooms dedicated to specific topics related to Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
- Family Caregiver Alliance: This organization is for all types of caregivers. Through this website, people can connect with groups that support everything from cancer patients to struggling spouses.
- com: On this site, you will find resources and forums on a variety of topics of interest to caregivers. They range from where to buy adult briefs at the best price to how to plan for a loved one’s move to senior living.
Specialized Dementia Care at Heritage
If you are caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, exploring the options for assistance in your local area is important. For those who live in Michigan, Heritage Senior Communities may be of interest. We invite you to schedule a visit and personal tour of a specialized dementia care program at a location near you!
by Shelley | Oct 26, 2020 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
Dear Donna:
I’ve been the primary caregiver for my dad for over 3 years. He has Alzheimer’s disease and moved in with my husband and I. His forgetfulness made it unsafe for him to live alone. He was neglecting to take his heart disease medication and was beginning to wander from home and become lost.
While I am retired and fortunate not to have to work outside the home, some days I struggle to keep up with my dad. He doesn’t sleep much, so I have trouble keeping an eye on him.
My friend suggested I look for an Alzheimer’s caregiver group to join. In all honesty, I think it’s just one more thing to fit into my schedule.
In your experience, what are the benefits of joining a caregiver support group? Is it worth the time it takes to attend?
Sincerely,
Barb in Saginaw, MI
Why Join a Caregiver Support Group?
Dear Barb:
What a great question! I’m sure other family members wonder the same thing. While it might initially seem like more work, there are important benefits of joining a caregiver support group:
- Validate your feelings: Family caregivers experience a range of emotions. It’s sad watching a loved one’s decline. You may fear you aren’t doing a good job. Then there is the unspoken emotion: guilt. Caregiving for a family member often means sacrificing your personal time. It can make even the best-intentioned caregiver a little resentful. When you talk with fellow caregivers, you’ll quickly discover these feelings are normal.
- Share ideas: Being part of a support group gives you access to others who’ve likely experienced similar struggles. They can offer tips for how to prevent wandering or what to do when a loved one won’t eat. You can learn what’s worked for other caregivers so you have new ideas to try.
- Vent frustrations: Let’s face it, caregiving can be emotional. Families often disagree about how to handle vital issues. It’s especially tough when loved ones have strong opinions on how things should be done but aren’t willing to help. A caregiver support group provides a place to vent your anger and frustration.
- Feel connected: Family caregivers often feel isolated and lonely. This is especially true if the elder has Alzheimer’s and isn’t safe staying alone. Commiserating and laughing over common struggles with people who relate can help you feel less alone.
Online Support Groups for Alzheimer’s Caregivers
Because the challenges Alzheimer’s caregivers face are so unique, it might be easier to connect with an online support group. ALZConnected is one that is hosted by the Alzheimer’s Association.
I hope this helps, Barb! I wish you the best of luck caregiving for your dad.
Kind regards,
Donna
Memory Care at Heritage Senior Communities
Heritage Senior Communities has been caring for adults with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia since 1946. Our family-owned company is dedicated to helping people with dementia enjoy their best quality of life, despite the disease. Call the Heritage community closest to you to learn more!
by Shelley | Jun 24, 2019 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna, I am the primary caregiver for my mother, who is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s disease. I have been feeling lonely lately, but I am having trouble connecting with people who understand the challenges I am facing. I am interested in joining an online...
by Shelley | Dec 27, 2024 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
After my mom passed away from cancer this fall, I’ve been the primary caregiver for my 91-year-old father. While Dad is still somewhat independent, his vision loss prevents him from driving and makes household tasks tough. I visit him on the way home from work every day, and my brother goes on weekends.
My schedule feels overwhelming and the stress is getting to me. When I had my annual physical, my doctor discovered I’ve developed high blood pressure. I know I need to find ways to make this role more manageable, including creating a support network.
Do you have any advice for me? I’m not sure how to get started.
Sincerely,
Caitlyn in Glen Arbor, MI
Tips for Building a Caregiver Support Network
Dear Caitlyn:
Caring for a family member can be a deeply rewarding experience, but caregiving can also come with significant emotional and physical challenges. Whether you’re caring for an aging parent, a spouse with a life-limiting illness, or a child with special needs, the demands can be overwhelming.
One of the most important steps to protecting your own health and well-being during this journey is building a caregiver support network. This network can provide you with emotional support, practical help, and valuable resources, all of which can help you navigate the complexities of caregiving.
Here are a few steps to help you get started.
- Acknowledge the need for support.
The first step in building a caregiver support network is acknowledging that you need help. Caregiving can feel isolating, especially when you try to handle everything on your own. Many people experience feelings of guilt or fear that asking for help means they are failing their loved ones. However, accepting assistance does not diminish the love or commitment you have for your dad. In fact, reaching out to others strengthens your ability to provide the best care possible.
- Reach out to family and friends.
The first people you can turn to when building your support network are your family members and close friends. Even though they might not be able to assist on a daily basis, they may be willing to help with specific tasks or provide emotional support. It’s important to communicate clearly about the type of help you need.
- Join online and in-person caregiver groups.
Support groups can be a vital resource for caregivers. These groups offer a space where you can talk about your experiences, exchange advice, and receive encouragement from people who understand your situation. Many caregivers benefit from talking to others who are going through similar struggles. It can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide new insights into managing caregiving responsibilities.
There are many online caregiver support groups where you can connect with people from around the world. In-person groups can also be an option if you prefer face-to-face interaction. Hospitals, community centers, and religious organizations often host caregiver support meetings that allow you to meet others in your local area.
- Seek professional help and resources.
In addition to your personal support network, it’s important to tap into professional resources that can ease your caregiving duties. Social workers, healthcare professionals, and organizations dedicated to seniors can provide valuable advice.
You might also consider respite care at an assisted living community. These services offer around-the-clock support from professional caregivers on a temporary basis so the family caregiver can rest and recharge.
- Utilize community resources.
Your dad might benefit from some of the services available to seniors. These include meal delivery programs, transportation to medical appointments, and help with household chores or lawn care. And they would certainly help make your schedule more manageable. Contact your local agency on aging to learn more about what is available.
Finally, one of the most important members of your support network is you. To care for your dad, you must first care for yourself. Ensure that you take time for regular exercise, even if it’s just 15 minutes once or twice a day. Use meal delivery services to make it easier to eat healthy foods when your days are busy. While it might be tough, getting a good night’s sleep is also essential.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Caitlyn! Please contact the Heritage community nearest you if you have any additional questions. One of our experienced team members will be happy to help.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
For almost 9 years, I have been caregiving for my husband as he has battled cancer. More times than I can count, we have been told the end was near. In the last 2 years, I’ve been by his side constantly. I rarely see anyone except my adult children and grandchildren.
While my husband isn’t a difficult patient, he is demanding. He still sees me as the young and active person I was when he first got sick. In reality, I am exhausted to the point that I feel resentful of him and struggle to find empathy. It pains me greatly to admit that as we’ve been married almost 60 years, and I love him greatly.
Do you have any advice for helping me reset my emotions? Caregiving is such a difficult role.
Sincerely,
Shawna in Muskegon, MI
Rediscovering Empathy and Compassion While Caregiving
Dear Shawna:
First, let me begin by saying what you are experiencing is normal. That’s especially true given the length of time you’ve been a caregiver and how isolated it sounds like you’ve become. Be kind to yourself. You are on a very difficult journey.
Empathy involves more than simply feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their emotions and experiences. Here are some ways to nurture empathy:
- Practice mindfulness: Active listening and staying present can help caregivers prioritize their loved one’s feelings, fears, and joys. One way to rediscover empathy is through mindfulness practices. Taking a moment to breathe and center oneself can create space for compassion. Some caregivers find activities like meditation, walking, and even chair yoga make it easier to remain in a state of mindfulness.
- Connect with a support group: Sharing experiences with fellow caregivers can reinforce empathy. Joining an Alzheimer’s support group or otherwise engaging in conversations with people facing similar challenges creates a sense of community. Hearing similar stories of struggle can remind caregivers they aren’t alone in battling guilt and other difficult emotions. The emotional connections found in a support group can also be beneficial.
- Consider journaling: Journaling can be an invaluable tool for caregivers, offering a space to process emotions and experiences. It will give you an opportunity to reflect on daily challenges, celebrate small victories, and articulate feelings of stress or joy. Writing can help caregivers clarify their thoughts, track their loved one’s progress, and identify patterns in behavior or health. This practice allows caregivers to release pent-up emotions and gain perspective. By documenting the journey, caregivers can find connection, validation, and a deeper understanding of their role.
- Take caregiving breaks: My final, and possibly most important, tip is to accept that you need to take breaks. Many spouses find this tough, but it’s important for your own well-being and your ability to best care for your husband. Try asking your adult children to take turns caregiving for a few hours a week. Use the time to stroll through a bookstore, get a pedicure, have lunch or dinner with a friend, or head to the movies. Then, consider utilizing respite in a memory care community near your home on a regular basis. These short-term care services give caregivers a chance to recharge for a few days or weeks. You’ll know your spouse is in the hands of experienced professionals, which will make it easier to relax.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Shawna, and allow you to find peace.
Kind regards,
Donna
Schedule a Tour of a Specialized Dementia Care Program
The best way to learn more about respite care or specialized dementia care is with a personal visit and tour. With locations throughout Michigan, you’ll likely find a Heritage community near you! Call today to set up a time for your personal tour.
