by Shelley | Nov 4, 2025 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad came to stay with my husband and our family this spring. He had been living alone since my mom passed away two years ago. We felt like he was spending too much time alone and not socializing much. It was negatively impacting his mental and physical well-being.
Mom and Dad used to host Christmas every year. My brother and his family would fly in for a few days and stay with my parents. Since we sold the house before moving Dad in with us, however, this year will be different. My brother has decided they won’t be coming for a visit until after the new year.
I’m hoping to find ways for my dad and my brother’s children to visit virtually throughout the holiday season. Like my kids, they are teenagers. So, I’m finding it difficult to come up with good ideas. Do you have any suggestions?
Sincerely,
Caitlyn in Traverse City, MI
Virtual Ways Grandparents and Teens Can Connect This Christmas
Dear Caitlyn:
What a good observation on the part of you and your husband. Loneliness and isolation among older adults are linked to a variety of health issues ranging from depression to diabetes. It is very thoughtful to move your dad in with you, even temporarily.
The holiday season is a time for family, love, and connection. When distance or circumstances prevent grandparents and teenagers from gathering in person, technology offers creative ways to stay close and make meaningful memories together. Here are some fun and heartwarming ways to bridge the generational gap virtually this Christmas.
- Virtual holiday movie nights
Pick a classic Christmas movie, such as Home Alone, Elf, or The Santa Clause, and watch it together using a platform like Teleparty or Zoom. Don’t forget to encourage movie snacks for all parties involved!
- Holiday recipes and virtual cooking sessions
Food brings people together, even over video chat. Grandparents can walk teens through a cherished family recipe while cooking “together” on a Zoom call. This shared experience not only teaches cooking skills, but also keeps family traditions alive.
Games like Scrabble GO, Words with Friends, or online card games can be another fun way to connect. For something more personal, try trivia games based on family history. Have the teens prepare questions about the family tree, and grandparents can share stories sparked by the answers.
- Digital holiday scrapbooking
Use platforms like Canva or Google Slides to create a shared digital scrapbook. Grandparents can upload old Christmas photos, and teens can add modern touches, captions, or music. It’s a collaborative way to share memories and learn about each other’s experiences.
- Christmas karaoke or caroling via video chat
Nothing says holiday spirit like singing together. Host a virtual karaoke or caroling session. Teens can create a playlist, and everyone can join in from their living rooms. Don’t forget to video record it so you can have it for many years to come.
Connecting across generations doesn’t require being in the same room—it just takes intention, creativity, and a little digital magic. This Christmas, let the spirit of togetherness shine, no matter the distance.
Kind regards,
Donna
Tour Independent Living at Heritage Senior Communities
Retirement is a season in life most of us look forward to for many years. But the reality of maintaining a home can limit how you spend your time and money. If you are ready for a more hassle-free lifestyle, we encourage you to explore independent living communities that are a part of the Heritage family.
This popular type of senior housing offers older adults freedom, flexibility, and friendship. Call a community near you to schedule your private tour today!
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad has been on his own since my mom passed away two years ago. She was sick for a long time and my dad was her primary caregiver.
I am increasingly concerned about how lonely and isolated he has become. I live just over two hours away, so I can’t be there more than once a week. My dad has started restricting his driving, which I think is wise.
Recently, I’ve started talking with my dad about moving to a senior living community. From what I’ve learned, I believe assisted living would be a good fit for him. When I talk with my dad about moving, however, he continues to tell me that he’s “not ready yet.”
I’d like to start creating a list of the advantages these communities offer so that I can be more specific when I talk with my dad. I’m thinking I could present individual benefits to him in a low-key manner over time. Can you help me better understand what I should put on my list to share with him?
Sincerely,
Nicole in northern Michigan
Explaining the Benefits of Assisted Living to a Senior Loved One
Dear Nicole:
Thank you for asking this question and for bringing up the phrase “not ready yet.” It is indeed one of the most common responses adult children hear when discussing senior living communities with a family member. The phrase can mean anything from being overwhelmed at the idea of selling a home and moving to being fearful of giving up their independence.
Creating a list of benefits offered by assisted living to gradually share with your dad is a good idea. Planting these seeds might make him more open to the idea of making a move.
As you’ve likely discovered, assisted living communities offer a supportive environment for older adults who need help with daily activities. They do so while allowing residents to maintain as much independence as possible. These communities combine housing, personalized care, and a focus on quality of life.
Here are the key benefits of assisted living:
- Personalized Support with Daily Activities
Residents receive support with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as:
- Bathing
- Dressing
- Grooming
- Medication management
- Mobility
- Toileting assistance
This helps residents stay safe and comfortable while still maintaining autonomy.
- Safety and Security
Assisted living communities are designed with seniors’ safety in mind, offering:
- 24/7 staff availability
- Emergency call systems
- Secure premises
- Fall-prevention features in apartments and bathrooms
These features help reduce risks and provide peace of mind for residents and their families.
- Social Engagement and Community
Loneliness and isolation are common among older adults who live alone. Assisted living offers:
- Group dining
- Clubs and interest-based activities
- Outings and social events
- Shared spaces for interaction
Regular social engagement improves emotional well-being and cognitive health.
- Nutritious Meals and Dining Options
Residents enjoy:
- Balanced, chef-prepared meals
- Accommodations for dietary needs
- Social dining experiences
Proper nutrition supports overall health and can reduce the risk of chronic illness.
- Housekeeping and Maintenance
Assisted living eliminates the burden of home upkeep by providing:
- Housekeeping and laundry services
- Apartment maintenance
- Landscaping and snow removal
This frees up residents to focus on enjoying their time and hobbies.
- Transportation Services
Communities often provide scheduled transportation for:
- Errands
- Doctor’s appointments
- Outings
This allows residents to stay active and independent without needing to drive.
- Health and Wellness Programs
Many assisted living communities offer:
- On-site wellness classes
- Health checkups, such as blood pressure screenings
- Access to on-site fitness equipment
These programs help residents maintain physical strength, balance, and overall well-being.
Assisted Living Brings Peace of Mind for Families
One final tip is to talk with your dad about how this move will benefit you and other loved ones. You can worry less knowing he is in a safe, secure environment with opportunities to make friends and build a strong social circle. Freeing you from doing hands-on caregiving tasks will allow the two of you to spend more quality time together.
I hope that all of this is helpful to you, Nicole. I’d like to invite you to visit one of our Michigan assisted living communities, even if it is on your own to learn more about our programs and services.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
My 84-year-old mother has been living on her own for about 7 years now. The first few years after my father passed away, she managed very well. Recently, however, things have changed.
My husband and I both work full time and have kids in high school and college. While we visit often to help her, it really isn’t enough. She recently had a bad car accident and totaled her vehicle. My mom was at fault and decided it was time to give up driving.
We take off work to transport her to appointments, grocery stores, and more. Between my husband, kids, and I, we also do most of her household chores. It is a struggle.
A few weeks ago, I sat down with my mom to talk about moving to an assisted living community. We discussed how isolated she feels and that she knows how much stress it is on me to be a sandwich generation caregiver. Though she is receptive to the idea, I think she is also hanging on to outdated myths about senior living. She can’t exactly articulate those to me.
Can you help me to better understand the most common myths about assisted living? How can I correct my mom’s perceptions?
Sincerely,
Stacey in Hudsonville, MI
Identifying and Overcoming Common Myths About Assisted Living
Dear Stacey:
That is very perceptive! For older adults who aren’t familiar with assisted living communities, believing inaccurate information isn’t all that uncommon. These incorrect beliefs can even make a person hesitant to explore assisted living.
While it’s natural to feel unsure about such a big transition, much of the fear around assisted living comes from common myths that don’t reflect reality. Let’s bust some of the most persistent misconceptions and take a closer look at what assisted living really offers.
Myth #1: “Assisted living is the same as a nursing home.”
Reality: This is one of the most common and misleading myths. While both offer care, assisted living and nursing homes are very different.
- Assisted living communities are designed for seniors who need some help with daily activities—like dressing, bathing, or managing medications—but are still relatively independent. Residents have a private apartment or suite with plenty of freedom, privacy, and access to social activities.
- Nursing homes, on the other hand, are for individuals with more complex medical needs who require round-the-clock clinical care. Residents receive the same help with activities of daily living in addition to assistance with needs such as wound care, IV therapy, respiratory care, and more.
Myth #2: “I’ll lose my independence.”
Reality: Assisted living is meant to support independence, not take it away. Residents can decorate their own spaces, choose their daily routines, participate in activities (or not), and maintain their own lifestyles. They receive help only where and when it’s needed.
Many seniors find they actually gain independence because they’re no longer burdened by home maintenance, cooking, or managing health needs alone. They also appreciate having transportation services so they don’t have to ask adult children to drive them to appointments.
Myth #3: “The environment is hospital-like and depressing.”
Reality: Modern assisted living communities are far from institutional. They are often beautifully designed with comfortable common areas, landscaped gardens, spacious private apartments, and resort-style amenities like salons, fitness centers, and even art studios.
The goal is to make residents feel at home. There’s a strong focus on community, wellness, and fun. You’ll typically see residents engaged in both formal (e.g., craft projects or fitness classes) and informal gatherings.
Myth #4: “I won’t know anyone or make new friends.”
Reality: Assisted living communities are intentionally designed to foster friendships and engagement. With activities like group fitness classes, movie nights, outings, and shared meals, residents have countless opportunities to connect with others.
Many seniors report feeling less lonely and more socially active after moving into assisted living. That’s important because the health risks associated with isolation among older adults can be quite serious.
Myth #5: “It’s too expensive.”
Reality: While cost is a valid concern, it’s important to compare assisted living costs to current and future living expenses, including housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, and in-home care services. Assisted living often consolidates these costs into one monthly fee. In some cases, it may be more affordable than maintaining a private home, especially with the added value of safety and care.
Visit a Heritage Community in Person
Stacey, I hope that this information helps you determine what might be making your mom hesitant about assisted living communities. One final suggestion is to schedule a time to visit a Heritage community near you, including staying for lunch or dinner.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Aug 28, 2025 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
As I begin my retirement, I’m trying to commit to sticking to a budget. While I do have some flexibility, my goal is to enjoy life but be prepared for the days when I’ll need more care and assistance.
I’m sure there are steps that I can take to make my money go further. I’ve never been a coupon clipper or much of a bargain hunter, but I will have more time now than ever before. So, I’m open to exploring cost-saving methods.
Do you have any suggestions for me?
Sincerely,
Steve in Saugatuck, MI
Cost-Saving Tips to Stretch Your Retirement Income
Dear Steve:
Retirement should be a time to relax, enjoy life, and pursue long-postponed passions—but for many retirees, making limited income last can be a real challenge. Rising costs, healthcare expenses, and longer life expectancy all put pressure on retirement funds. The good news? With a few smart strategies and lifestyle adjustments, you can stretch your retirement income further without sacrificing your quality of life.
While we aren’t financial advisors, we do have some practical ways to make your retirement income go further:
- Take advantage of senior discounts.
Many businesses offer discounts to seniors, but you often have to ask for them. From travel and restaurants to utility bills and gym memberships, even small savings can add up over time. The Senior List maintains a comprehensive database of places, such as travel companies and hotels, where seniors can receive a discount.
Also ask the stores you shop at if they offer senior discount days. For example, national drug store chains and grocery stores often have one day a week or month when seniors receive a percentage off their bill.
Carrying debt into retirement can quickly eat into your income. Focus on paying down high-interest debt, like credit cards or car loans, as soon as possible. Work on getting debts that have the highest interest rate handled first.
If you don’t have a financial planner, this is the time to consult one for more detailed guidance. Experts often recommend you connect with a fee-only fiduciary financial planner. They take a client-centered approach not based on commissions. You can search for one on the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) website using your zip code.
- Cut unnecessary subscriptions and services.
Another tip is to review where all of your money is going each week. It’s easy to accumulate monthly subscriptions over the year. Streaming services, magazines, premium channels, and more can really add up.
Look at all of your credit card bills and auto-renewal accounts to evaluate what you truly need and cancel the rest. Cutting even a few small monthly charges can add up to hundreds of dollars a year.
Housing is often the largest expense for retirees. Many people stay in homes where they raised a family and have more space than they need. Consider whether it makes sense to downsize to a smaller home or a senior living community.
Selling a large home and relocating can free up equity and significantly reduce monthly costs on utilities, taxes, and maintenance. By moving to an independent living community, for example, you’ll be able to enjoy your retirement more fully without the hassle and expense of maintaining a house.
The Bottom Line on Retirement Budgeting
Stretching your retirement income doesn’t have to mean making drastic changes. It’s about being mindful, strategic, and open to new possibilities. By budgeting wisely, cutting unnecessary expenses, maximizing benefits, and staying financially informed, you can enjoy a comfortable and fulfilling retirement for years to come.
If you do decide to consider a move to a senior living community, we encourage you to plan a visit to Heritage. With locations in Michigan and Indiana, there are a variety of communities from which to choose.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Aug 28, 2025 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
As a single woman of a “certain age,” I’m considering selling my home. I’ve lived here for over 30 years and it’s gotten to be too much work and upkeep. I’d like more freedom in my retirement and having a house has begun to feel like a burden.
As I’ve been exploring where to move if I do sell my house, one option that keeps coming up is an independent living community. I wasn’t familiar with this type of senior housing. From my research, it seems like residents of these communities have fewer responsibilities, more social opportunities, and access to helpful amenities.
Can you help me understand more about the benefits of moving to an independent living community as an active, fairly healthy senior?
Sincerely,
Katie in South Haven, MI
Benefits of Moving to an Independent Living Community
Dear Katie:
It sounds as if you’ve done your homework! You gave a good, broad overview of the benefits you’ll enjoy by moving to an independent living community.
As we age, our needs, priorities, and lifestyles naturally evolve. For many seniors, especially those who are still active and self-sufficient, an independent living community offers an ideal living arrangement that promotes freedom, comfort, and connection. These communities are designed specifically for older adults who want to maintain their independence while enjoying the benefits of a supportive and socially engaging environment.
Here are several compelling reasons why a senior should consider making the move:
One of the most immediate benefits of independent living is the freedom from household chores and maintenance. Tasks such as mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, fixing a leaky roof, or cleaning gutters can become especially burdensome with age. In an independent living community, these responsibilities are taken care of by professional staff. This allows residents to spend more time doing what they love, whether it’s pursuing hobbies, traveling, or simply relaxing.
- Wide variety of social opportunities
Loneliness and social isolation are common concerns for many seniors, especially those living alone. Independent living communities are designed to foster connection through organized social activities, group outings, clubs, and communal dining. Being surrounded by peers makes it easier to form friendships, share experiences, and be part of a vibrant community.
- Safe and secure environment
Safety is a major factor in choosing a place to live during retirement. From crimes targeting seniors to unsafe older homes, living alone can come with risks. Independent living communities are typically equipped with features like emergency call systems, well-lit walkways, secure entrances, and on-site staff. These built-in safety measures provide peace of mind, both for residents and their families, without compromising independence.
Most independent living communities offer a wide range of amenities that make daily life more enjoyable and convenient. These may include fitness centers, libraries, beauty salons, transportation services, and dining options. Having such amenities on-site reduces the need to travel for basic necessities and adds an element of luxury and ease to daily routines.
Many seniors find that their current homes are larger than they need. Independent living apartments, villas, or cottages are typically designed for efficiency, comfort, and accessibility. Downsizing to a smaller, more manageable space can simplify life and reduce costs while still offering privacy and independence. It can also lower stress levels and bring a senior peace.
While independent living is not the same as assisted living or nursing care, many communities have support services available or nearby if a resident’s needs change. This can ease the transition to higher levels of care, should it become necessary, and gives seniors a sense of long-term stability.
The bottom line is that residents of an independent living community can enjoy a lifestyle that supports their well-being, freedom, and sense of purpose. For those looking to embrace the next chapter of life with ease and enrichment, this is a smart and empowering option.
As you continue to explore your options, I would like to invite you to tour a Heritage community near you. With locations across Michigan and one in Indiana, you’ll likely find a choice that meets your hopes and needs.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Jul 28, 2025 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My grandmother moved into my parents’ home just over a year ago. She experienced a series of falls that her primary care doctor felt were related to poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle. The goal in bringing my grandma into my parents’ home was to help her get stronger so she could continue to live independently.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. My grandmother’s health deteriorated even more and it looks as if the move to my parents’ home will likely be permanent. My mom and dad live in Michigan. I live all the way out in the state of Washington, so I can’t be much help to them. But I can tell my mom is exhausted and needs assistance. I think she is doubting how well she is doing taking care of my grandmother.
Do you have any advice on how I can support my mom long distance?
Sincerely,
Jayme
What to Do When the Family Caregiver Needs Assistance
Dear Jayme:
Family caregiving can be a rewarding but demanding role. And it’s one an increasing number of people find themselves in. Research shows that between 2011 and 2022, the number of family caregivers in this country climbed from 18.1 million to 24.2 million. That brings me to my first suggestion: help your mother connect with peers who also find themselves struggling to manage it all.
While many organizations near her likely offer in-person options, an online caregiver support group might be easier on her busy schedule. Talking with people who share her fears and frustrations can go a long way in making her feel more confident as a caregiver.
A few other steps that might make your mom’s daily life more manageable could be:
- Exploring respite care options: If your mom isn’t familiar with respite care, you can help educate her on it while also investigating providers in her area. Some families enjoy taking advantage of short-term stays at an assisted living community on a regular basis. Loved ones can take time for themselves knowing their family member is in good hands.
- Organizing help from others: It’s not uncommon for an adult child who is caring for a parent to feel it is their duty to provide all of their care without asking for assistance from others. Busy caregivers often feel too overwhelmed to even ask for help. Even from many miles away, you can coordinate a rotating schedule of assistance with friends and family. Apps like Lotsa Helping Hands and CaringBridge make this easier for you to do.
- Utilizing meal delivery services: One challenge many people experience while caring for a family member is a lack of time to prepare healthy meals. Fortunately, there are options. You could explore home-delivered meal programs that meet your parents’ and your grandmother’s dietary needs and preferences.
- Encouraging self-care without guilt: Sometimes, reminding a caregiver that it is okay (and necessary) to take breaks, rest, and care for themselves without feeling guilty can make a big difference. It gives them permission to make their own health and happiness a priority, too.
- Being a good listener: Finally, remind yourself that your mom likely needs someone to talk to without judging or trying to “fix” everything. Be that person for her. Let her share her fears, guilt, and frustration with you. It is not only therapeutic, but may also help her find solutions as she talks through various struggles.
I hope these suggestions give your mom a chance to better balance her duties as a caregiver and her own health and well-being.
If you have any additional questions or would like to talk with a team member about respite care in Michigan, I encourage you to call the Heritage location nearest you to learn more!
Kind regards,
Donna
