by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
For almost 9 years, I have been caregiving for my husband as he has battled cancer. More times than I can count, we have been told the end was near. In the last 2 years, I’ve been by his side constantly. I rarely see anyone except my adult children and grandchildren.
While my husband isn’t a difficult patient, he is demanding. He still sees me as the young and active person I was when he first got sick. In reality, I am exhausted to the point that I feel resentful of him and struggle to find empathy. It pains me greatly to admit that as we’ve been married almost 60 years, and I love him greatly.
Do you have any advice for helping me reset my emotions? Caregiving is such a difficult role.
Sincerely,
Shawna in Muskegon, MI
Rediscovering Empathy and Compassion While Caregiving
Dear Shawna:
First, let me begin by saying what you are experiencing is normal. That’s especially true given the length of time you’ve been a caregiver and how isolated it sounds like you’ve become. Be kind to yourself. You are on a very difficult journey.
Empathy involves more than simply feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their emotions and experiences. Here are some ways to nurture empathy:
- Practice mindfulness: Active listening and staying present can help caregivers prioritize their loved one’s feelings, fears, and joys. One way to rediscover empathy is through mindfulness practices. Taking a moment to breathe and center oneself can create space for compassion. Some caregivers find activities like meditation, walking, and even chair yoga make it easier to remain in a state of mindfulness.
- Connect with a support group: Sharing experiences with fellow caregivers can reinforce empathy. Joining an Alzheimer’s support group or otherwise engaging in conversations with people facing similar challenges creates a sense of community. Hearing similar stories of struggle can remind caregivers they aren’t alone in battling guilt and other difficult emotions. The emotional connections found in a support group can also be beneficial.
- Consider journaling: Journaling can be an invaluable tool for caregivers, offering a space to process emotions and experiences. It will give you an opportunity to reflect on daily challenges, celebrate small victories, and articulate feelings of stress or joy. Writing can help caregivers clarify their thoughts, track their loved one’s progress, and identify patterns in behavior or health. This practice allows caregivers to release pent-up emotions and gain perspective. By documenting the journey, caregivers can find connection, validation, and a deeper understanding of their role.
- Take caregiving breaks: My final, and possibly most important, tip is to accept that you need to take breaks. Many spouses find this tough, but it’s important for your own well-being and your ability to best care for your husband. Try asking your adult children to take turns caregiving for a few hours a week. Use the time to stroll through a bookstore, get a pedicure, have lunch or dinner with a friend, or head to the movies. Then, consider utilizing respite in a memory care community near your home on a regular basis. These short-term care services give caregivers a chance to recharge for a few days or weeks. You’ll know your spouse is in the hands of experienced professionals, which will make it easier to relax.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Shawna, and allow you to find peace.
Kind regards,
Donna
Schedule a Tour of a Specialized Dementia Care Program
The best way to learn more about respite care or specialized dementia care is with a personal visit and tour. With locations throughout Michigan, you’ll likely find a Heritage community near you! Call today to set up a time for your personal tour.
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Healthy Aging
Caring for the spirit is an essential part of holistic wellness at any age. It can impact emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. Spiritual wellness can be defined as a sense of connection to something greater than oneself, whether that is a higher power, nature, or humanity as a whole. This connection fosters a profound sense of purpose, meaning, and inner peace, which are vital for overall health.
Nurturing the Spirit
One of the primary ways that nurturing the spirit promotes wellness is by fostering resilience. Individuals who engage in spiritual practices—such as meditation, prayer, or mindfulness—typically report a greater ability to cope with stress and adversity. These practices encourage a reflective mindset that helps people learn to process their experiences more fully.
A strong spiritual foundation can help people transform potentially negative experiences into opportunities for growth. This not only helps in overcoming obstacles, but also reduces the risk of mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Engaging with one’s spiritual beliefs can cultivate a sense of hope and optimism, which are crucial for maintaining emotional balance.
So, what can you do to find the sense of peace that comes from getting in touch with your spiritual side? We have a few suggestions you might find useful.
Activities That Promote Spiritual Wellness
Engaging in mindful meditation allows you to cultivate awareness and presence. Start with just a few minutes each day, focusing on your breath or a calming mantra. This practice can help you clear mental clutter, reduce stress, and connect more deeply with your thoughts and feelings.
Spending time in nature can profoundly nurture the spirit. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by a lake, immersing yourself in natural beauty can evoke a sense of peace and connection to something greater than yourself. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells around you and allow yourself to be fully present.
Writing can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and spiritual exploration. Keep a journal where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Use prompts like “What am I grateful for?” or “What brings me joy?” to delve deeper into your inner world and track your spiritual journey over time.
- Explore creative hobbies.
Engaging in creative activities—such as painting, dancing, or playing music—is another way to nurture the spirit. Creative expression allows you to channel your emotions and thoughts into something tangible. This provides an outlet for your feelings and a means of connecting with your true self.
- Engage in acts of kindness.
Performing acts of kindness not only benefits others, but also enriches your own spirit. Whether it’s volunteering, helping a neighbor, or simply offering a smile, these small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity and foster a sense of community and belonging.
Exploring spiritual literature, poetry, or philosophy can inspire and deepen your understanding of the human experience. Choose readings that resonate with you, whether it’s the classics or contemporary poetry. Reflecting on these insights can guide you on your spiritual path.
- Consider mindful exercise.
Practices like yoga, tai chi, or qigong integrate physical movement with mindfulness. These activities help you connect your body and mind, promoting inner harmony and a sense of balance. They can also be a great way to manage chronic health conditions naturally, such as osteoarthritis and autoimmune diseases.
Bookmark the Heritage Blog
If you found this article to be of interest, we encourage you to bookmark the Heritage blog and stop back often. We regularly share new articles on topics ranging from healthy aging and senior fitness to caregiving and housing options for older adults.
by Shelley | Jul 2, 2024 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
Dementia is a tough disease for the person living with it and those who love them. There’s no denying the physical and emotional toll it can take on a family caregiver. While it can be rewarding to care for a loved one during this journey, it’s important to acknowledge that guilt and frustration are common and normal emotions, too.
The challenges of the disease itself are what make being a dementia caregiver so difficult. People with Alzheimer’s, the most common type of dementia, can seemingly go for days without sleep. To keep them safe and protected, a caregiver might be forced to stay awake, too. Because of the damage dementia causes to the brain, there are behaviors that are hard to navigate as well. People with dementia often experience agitation, anxiety, and tearfulness.
One of the keys to surviving the emotional rollercoaster family caregivers often experience is learning how to manage caregiver guilt, fear, and frustration. We have some suggestions that we hope you will find useful.
Managing Difficult Caregiver Emotions
Our first piece of advice is to be kind to yourself. Caregiving for someone you love is difficult work, no matter how rewarding it is. When a senior loved one has dementia, the role is exceptionally tough. As the illness progresses, Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia rob a person of their independence and ability to communicate. Setting aside the physical demands of care, there is the sadness associated with watching your family member decline.
Other steps you can take to manage the difficult emotional journey of a dementia caregiver include:
- Journaling: One method of coping with the guilt, fear, and frustration you are feeling is by journaling. It’s an effective solution used by many, including cancer patients, hospice team members, and those in recovery from substance abuse. One practice you might find particularly helpful is known as reflect and release. These tips and prompts for reflective journaling might help you get started.
- Asking for help: Family caregivers often feel as if they need to handle everything on their own. While it’s understandable to want to help your loved one as much as possible, this can lead to caregiver overload or burnout. Reaching out to friends and family for help, such as assistance running errands or sitting with your senior while you get out for a bit, might ease some of the tough emotions you are experiencing.
- Utilizing respite: Another option to consider is using respite care regularly. Your loved one can stay at a dementia care community for a few days or weeks while you take a break. You can relax and enjoy time to yourself knowing they are in the hands of expert, professional caregivers.
- Joining a support group: Finding a group of peers who are walking a similar path with a family member is another good way to help you cope with the challenges of caring for a person with dementia. You could call the local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association to investigate in-person support groups that meet in your area. You’ll likely find one at a nearby church or senior center. If you prefer an online support group, this resource from the Alzheimer’s Association can help you connect with one.
- Taking a daily walk: Finally, another good way to clear your head is to take a quick walk outdoors every day. Even if you have to bundle up against the cold or take an umbrella with you, connecting with nature can help boost the spirits and bring a sense of peace.
Specialized Dementia Care at Heritage Senior Communities
Because we understand the challenges living with a memory impairment creates, we created a specialized form of care for older adults living with dementia. We provide an environment that works around disease-related obstacles to help enhance the quality of life for residents.
No detail is overlooked in our Michigan dementia care communities. From an individualized plan of care to dedicated dining and meaningful daily activities, it’s a solution that benefits older adults and their families. We invite you to call the Heritage location nearest you to learn more!
by Shelley | Dec 4, 2023 | Healthy Aging
Indiana and Michigan winters are known for being cold and snowy. The rough weather can take a toll on the immune system, especially for older adults. Then there are concerns about the viruses that reappear or worsen during the winter months, such as influenza, RSV, and COVID-19. While they can be annoying and uncomfortable at any age, these viruses can be especially dangerous for seniors.
At this time each year, we try to share a few tips to help seniors and their family members pump up their immunity. It’s important because a healthy immune system is vital for everything from warding off disease to protecting you against infections.
Tips to Help Seniors and Caregivers Boost Their Immune System
A few ways you can give your immune system the boost it needs before the worst of winter arrives include:
- Adopting a healthy diet: When the days are frigid and gray, many of us seek comfort. We might spend more time on the couch curled up watching television or with a book. Our need for comfort often includes overindulging in foods that are high in carbs and sugar. While you might get a short-term boost from those types of snacks and meals, they will leave you feeling more tired and sluggish in the long run. Winter might be a great time to explore a new way of eating. One diet that receives the highest marks from experts year after year is the Mediterranean Diet. Rich in lean protein and fresh fruits and vegetables, it’s believed to help guard against heart disease, Alzheimer’s, and some forms of cancer. The Mediterranean lifestyle also places high value on hydration, whether it’s drinking water or eating fruits and vegetables known for being hydrating.
- Being active: Winter weather often forces people to spend more time indoors. Doing so makes it much too easy to slip into unhealthy habits, such as watching too much television and skipping exercise. That combination is bad for your body’s natural immunity. A sedentary lifestyle increases the risk for obesity, type 2 diabetes, depression, and high blood pressure. Fortunately, there are many options for exercising indoors during winter Tech products, such as an Apple Watch or a Fitbit, can remind you it’s time to get up and move. Tai Chi, Pilates, cycling on a recumbent bike, using resistance bands, and practicing chair yoga can be done in the privacy of your own home.
- Protecting mental health: When the winter winds blow, people often feel melancholy and sad. Others experience higher amounts of stress and anxiety. Each of these can negatively impact your body’s immunity. Another health matter to be aware of is seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It can lead to a serious case of depression. That’s why it’s important to have a plan in place for nurturing the spirit. A few options to explore are meditation, arts and crafts projects, journaling, or music therapy.
- Sleeping well: Insomnia and other sleep problems increase with age. It can be the result of a lack of exercise, a medication, sleep apnea, and more. If you are struggling to get a good night’s rest, talk to your physician. They might have some suggestions for you to try, including referring you for a sleep study to help identify the root cause and potential treatment options.
- Updating vaccines: If you haven’t seen your primary care physician this year, schedule an appointment for a physical. That will provide you with an opportunity to check in with your doctor about which vaccines you need. From an annual flu shot to the new RSV vaccine, there are good tools for protecting against common viruses. If you do come down with the flu or COVID-19, for example, being vaccinated helps you avoid hospitalization.
Try Respite Care at Heritage This Winter
If the idea of you or a senior loved one spending winter months at home alone causes stress, you might want to consider a respite stay at Heritage. You can be our guest for a few weeks or months. During your short-term stay, you’ll enjoy the same amenities and services as our long-term residents.
From opportunities to socialize to well-balanced meals, it’s a great way to make the winter a little less cold and lonely. Call a Heritage community near you to learn more!
by Shelley | Oct 9, 2023 | Healthy Aging
Heart disease remains the leading cause of death in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one in four deaths in this country is linked to a cardiovascular-related condition. While some problems are due to genetic risk factors, others are related to the choices you make every day.
From exercise and movement to alcohol and smoking, here are some lifestyle tips that can help you keep your heart healthy.
Lifestyle Choices and Heart Disease
- Keep moving: Regular exercise plays an important role in heart health. Staying active throughout the day is equally important. That means reducing the amount of time you spend sitting. Research shows that a sedentary lifestyle can be almost as dangerous for your health as smoking.
- Manage stress: Unfortunately, stress is a part of everyday life for most people. How well you manage it, however, can impact your heart’s health. Finding positive ways to keep stress under control is important. Try exploring stress-reducing hobbies, such as Pilates, gardening, journaling, meditation, swimming, walking, and yoga.
- Watch your diet: Much has been written about the heart health benefits of a Mediterranean style of eating and the DASH Diet. Both focus on fruits, vegetables, nuts, and lean proteins. Research shows that people who adopt these types of diets tend to live longer, healthier lives.
- Limit sodium intake: From our restaurants to our reliance on processed foods, Western diets are notoriously high in sodium. Bottom line? Most Americans consume too much salt. Reducing your intake can help lower your blood pressure and your risk for heart disease.
- Monitor your cholesterol: High cholesterol is one of the biggest contributors to developing heart disease. While family history does factor into your cholesterol levels, so does lifestyle. It’s important to work with your primary care physician to have your cholesterol checked on a regular basis and to develop a plan for controlling it if necessary.
- Quit smoking: Most of us think of lung cancer when it comes to the risks of smoking. But experts say tobacco use is also a cause of heart disease and strokes. Secondhand smoke is deadly too. If you are a smoker or live with one, ask your doctor about cessation programs with high success rates. Even if you’ve been unsuccessful in attempts to quit in the past, your heart’s health is worth another try.
- Limit alcohol consumption: This one catches many people unaware. Alcohol consumption damages your health in many ways. When it comes to your cardiovascular system, alcohol consumption increases blood pressure while adding empty calories to your diet.
- Stay connected: Socializing is another way to improve your overall well-being. Seniors who live more engaged lives tend to be healthier. Whether it is volunteering, taking classes at a local community college, or spending time with friends, staying connected with the world around you is important.
Start by making a few small changes at a time and sticking with them. For example, give up two unhealthy foods a week while increasing your level of physical activity.
One more suggestion is to find a heart health buddy who shares your commitment to making changes. You can offer moral support to each other to stay on track.
Live Well during Retirement at a Heritage Community
From a wide range of daily activities to healthy menus, Heritage communities make it easier to live your best life. Contact a community near you to set up a private tour and learn more today!
