Family Caregiver Question: Does the Staff at My Parent’s Senior Living Community Really Want My Involvement?

Dear Donna:

My mom has several friends who have recently moved to assisted living communities. Both are widows whose adult children don’t live nearby. According to my mother, they are both happy to have made this transition. She’s been dropping hints that this might be something she is considering, too.

While I think my mom would benefit from social activities and having staff nearby 24/7 in case she needs help, I’m not sure I’m ready to give up being her caregiver. It’s a role I’ve been playing for almost five years now. While it can be demanding at times, such as when she’s not feeling well, I feel like I should be the one to care for her.

Because her friends’ families live out of town, it’s not been an issue for them. But I wonder if the staff at senior living communities truly wants adult children like me to be actively involved or if it’s just a nuisance. Any insight and advice would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Stacey in Saginaw, MI

The Role Adult Children Can Play in a Parent’s Senior Living Community

Dear Stacey:

It’s completely understandable to feel the way you do, particularly as you’ve been caring for your mom for so long now. The good news is that senior living communities welcome family involvement. It can be especially helpful during the early days after the transition when our team is trying to get to know a new resident.

At Heritage Senior Communities, for example, we believe that the best care occurs when residents, families, and team members work together. In fact, that partnership is really what “community” is all about.

If your mom does decide she’d like to make a move to an assisted living community, here are some tips you might find useful for getting involved.

• Make it easier for staff get to know your mom.

By regularly visiting and making small talk with staff, you’re helping them do their job. The more they know about and understand a new resident’s situation, the better equipped they’ll be to care for them. Studies have shown that when team members at an assisted living community know a resident well, they will be able to identify small changes in their well-being more quickly.

Knowing your mom’s family background and personal life story, such as her career, marriage, and children/grandchildren, will be helpful. So will understanding her health and wellness. These paint a complete picture of your mom for staff. That’s important because it helps build bonds and connections. Stronger connections can lead to a more homelike experience for your loved one.

• Offer to share your time and talent.

Most senior living communities welcome volunteer involvement. There are typically opportunities to assist with administrative tasks, special events, daily activities, and outings to nearby destinations. The nice thing is these don’t require any special training or skills. Just a friendly smile and helping hand!

If you do have a unique talent, such as playing the harp or teaching gardening or watercolor painting, the community will likely be excited to have you share them with residents. These types of activities are a popular part of daily life. Plenty of research shows that volunteers themselves reap many rewards when they donate their time to others.

• Make yourself available to staff.

One final tip is to make certain the staff at your mom’s senior living community knows that you are interested in helping out however you can. That includes ensuring the community’s leadership team understands that you want them to call with any questions or concerns they have about your mom. When you make a point of having a warm relationship with staff members, they’ll feel more comfortable reaching out to you.

Plan a Visit to a Heritage Location Near You

If your mom does want to move forward and begin exploring senior living communities, we hope you will put Heritage on your list. One of our experienced team members will be happy to show you and your mom around and answer any questions you might have. Give us a call to set up a time!

Kind regards,

Donna