Getting Involved in a Loved One’s Assisted Living Community

Dear Donna:

We are just beginning the search for an assisted living community in Michigan for my dad. We hope to have him moved in and settled before the snow begins to fly. While I believe the social aspects of community life will be very good for my dad, I’m struggling with the idea of giving up being his primary caregiver. It sounds silly as the role has been very demanding, but I’m concerned we’ll lose the close connection we’ve built.

Do you have any suggestions for how I can stay involved once we find a new place for my dad? And are family members really welcomed at communities? I would appreciate any suggestions and advice.

Steve in Grand Haven, MI

Staying Connected After a Loved One Moves to Assisted Living

Dear Steve:

It’s not silly at all! In fact, the feelings you are expressing are shared by many adult children. When a parent moves into an assisted living community, it can be a big transition for the whole family. While it’s natural to feel a mix of relief and concern, staying connected to them and their daily life can make the experience more positive for everyone.

Getting to know the staff and getting involved not only supports your parent emotionally but also helps build relationships that foster a stronger sense of community.

• Attend events: Start by attending social events, family nights, or seasonal celebrations. These gatherings provide a great way to meet and engage with your parent’s new neighbors and show support. Most communities welcome family participation and typically post calendars of upcoming activities online. Simply being present for a game night, woodworking class, or a concert sends the message to your dad and the team that you are interested and supportive.
• Share your time: Volunteering is another meaningful way to engage. You could help organize events or offer to share special skills you might have, such as teaching a computer class or helping with raised bed gardening. And you’ll likely find you benefit from volunteering your time as much as the residents do!
• Communicate with staff: Regular communication with the community team is also essential. Building rapport with caregivers, nurses, and activity directors ensures your dad’s needs are being met and helps address any concerns early. It’s also a good way to advocate for your parent if changes are needed.

One final suggestion is to continue to include your dad in outings or family traditions whenever possible. An outdoor lunch, a holiday gathering, or even a simple walk can maintain his connection to home life.

Being part of your parent’s assisted living experience doesn’t mean being there every day—it means staying present, involved, and proactive. Your ongoing involvement sends a powerful message: they are loved, valued, and supported in this new chapter of life.

Visit a Heritage Location Near You

Since you mentioned you are beginning to search for an assisted living community in Michigan, I would like to extend an invitation to you and your dad to visit a Heritage location near you. Our team will be happy to take you on a tour and answer all of your questions. We can even arrange for the two of you to participate in a community activity of your choosing. Call us today to set up a time!

Kind regards,

Donna