by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad has been on his own since my mom passed away two years ago. She was sick for a long time and my dad was her primary caregiver.
I am increasingly concerned about how lonely and isolated he has become. I live just over two hours away, so I can’t be there more than once a week. My dad has started restricting his driving, which I think is wise.
Recently, I’ve started talking with my dad about moving to a senior living community. From what I’ve learned, I believe assisted living would be a good fit for him. When I talk with my dad about moving, however, he continues to tell me that he’s “not ready yet.”
I’d like to start creating a list of the advantages these communities offer so that I can be more specific when I talk with my dad. I’m thinking I could present individual benefits to him in a low-key manner over time. Can you help me better understand what I should put on my list to share with him?
Sincerely,
Nicole in northern Michigan
Explaining the Benefits of Assisted Living to a Senior Loved One
Dear Nicole:
Thank you for asking this question and for bringing up the phrase “not ready yet.” It is indeed one of the most common responses adult children hear when discussing senior living communities with a family member. The phrase can mean anything from being overwhelmed at the idea of selling a home and moving to being fearful of giving up their independence.
Creating a list of benefits offered by assisted living to gradually share with your dad is a good idea. Planting these seeds might make him more open to the idea of making a move.
As you’ve likely discovered, assisted living communities offer a supportive environment for older adults who need help with daily activities. They do so while allowing residents to maintain as much independence as possible. These communities combine housing, personalized care, and a focus on quality of life.
Here are the key benefits of assisted living:
- Personalized Support with Daily Activities
Residents receive support with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as:
- Bathing
- Dressing
- Grooming
- Medication management
- Mobility
- Toileting assistance
This helps residents stay safe and comfortable while still maintaining autonomy.
- Safety and Security
Assisted living communities are designed with seniors’ safety in mind, offering:
- 24/7 staff availability
- Emergency call systems
- Secure premises
- Fall-prevention features in apartments and bathrooms
These features help reduce risks and provide peace of mind for residents and their families.
- Social Engagement and Community
Loneliness and isolation are common among older adults who live alone. Assisted living offers:
- Group dining
- Clubs and interest-based activities
- Outings and social events
- Shared spaces for interaction
Regular social engagement improves emotional well-being and cognitive health.
- Nutritious Meals and Dining Options
Residents enjoy:
- Balanced, chef-prepared meals
- Accommodations for dietary needs
- Social dining experiences
Proper nutrition supports overall health and can reduce the risk of chronic illness.
- Housekeeping and Maintenance
Assisted living eliminates the burden of home upkeep by providing:
- Housekeeping and laundry services
- Apartment maintenance
- Landscaping and snow removal
This frees up residents to focus on enjoying their time and hobbies.
- Transportation Services
Communities often provide scheduled transportation for:
- Errands
- Doctor’s appointments
- Outings
This allows residents to stay active and independent without needing to drive.
- Health and Wellness Programs
Many assisted living communities offer:
- On-site wellness classes
- Health checkups, such as blood pressure screenings
- Access to on-site fitness equipment
These programs help residents maintain physical strength, balance, and overall well-being.
Assisted Living Brings Peace of Mind for Families
One final tip is to talk with your dad about how this move will benefit you and other loved ones. You can worry less knowing he is in a safe, secure environment with opportunities to make friends and build a strong social circle. Freeing you from doing hands-on caregiving tasks will allow the two of you to spend more quality time together.
I hope that all of this is helpful to you, Nicole. I’d like to invite you to visit one of our Michigan assisted living communities, even if it is on your own to learn more about our programs and services.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Uncategorized
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive brain disorder that gradually impacts memory, thinking, and behavior. One of the most challenging aspects for both those living with the disease and their loved ones is the way it affects communication. Conversations may become confusing, repetitive, or even frustrating.
Added to that is the physical damage the disease causes to the brain. As Alzheimer’s progresses, a person’s ability to speak becomes more impaired.
Understanding how Alzheimer’s affects communication—and learning strategies to adapt—can help preserve connection, reduce stress, and enhance quality of life.
Tips for Communicating with a Loved One Who Has Alzheimer’s
Here are six common ways Alzheimer’s impacts communication, along with practical tips for managing each challenge.
- Difficulty Finding the Right Words
What Happens:
A person with Alzheimer’s may struggle to recall specific words or names. They might pause mid-sentence or substitute vague or incorrect terms (e.g., calling a watch a “hand clock”).
Work-around:
- Be patient and allow time for the person to find their words.
- If they’re stuck, gently offer the word they’re looking for.
- Avoid correcting them if they use the wrong word unless it’s really necessary.
- Use gestures or visual aids to support understanding. The prompting technique is often very helpful.
- Repetition of Words or Phrases
What Happens:
Repetition is common as short-term memory declines. The person may ask the same question or repeat a story several times, sometimes without realizing it.
Work-around:
- Answer repeated questions calmly and consistently.
- Use written notes or visual reminders (e.g., a whiteboard with today’s schedule) to help reduce anxiety that leads to repetition.
- Distract gently with a different topic or activity if the repetition becomes distressing.
- Avoid saying, “You already told me that.” Instead, respond as if it’s the first time or redirect with kindness.
- Trouble Following or Joining Conversations
What Happens:
As Alzheimer’s progresses, short-term memory is impaired or lost. That makes it more difficult for someone with the disease to follow conversations. This is especially true if the conversation moves quickly, involves multiple people, or covers unfamiliar topics.
Work-around:
- Speak slowly and clearly, using short, simple sentences.
- Stick to one idea at a time.
- Reduce background noise to help them focus.
- Give them your full attention and maintain eye contact to signal engagement.
- Ask yes/no or multiple-choice questions instead of open-ended ones, which can feel overwhelming.
- Loss of Train of Thought
What Happens:
The person may begin a sentence and then lose track of what they were saying. Again, this challenge is usually linked to short-term memory loss. It can be frustrating for the senior and may lead them to withdraw from conversations.
Work-around:
- Offer gentle prompts to help them refocus: “You were talking about your walk today—what did you see?”
- Avoid rushing them or finishing their sentences unless they ask for help.
- Encourage a calm environment with few distractions so they can concentrate better.
- Struggling to Understand Words or Meanings
What Happens:
Understanding spoken or written language may become difficult. Instructions or abstract concepts can be confusing or misunderstood.
Work-around:
- Use simple, direct language and repeat key points if needed.
- Demonstrate actions visually (e.g., pointing or showing) rather than just explaining them verbally.
- Avoid using figures of speech, sarcasm, or jokes that may not be understood. For example, instead of saying, “Let’s hit the road,” say, “Let’s get ready to go outside.”
- Withdrawal from Conversation
What Happens:
People with Alzheimer’s may stop participating in conversations because they feel embarrassed, confused, or overwhelmed. This can lead to isolation.
Work-around:
- Create a safe, supportive space where mistakes are okay.
- Invite them to join in using nonverbal communication, like smiling, holding hands, or sharing photos.
- Focus on shared experiences—music, pictures, or familiar activities can spark engagement even if words are hard to come by.
- Even just sitting quietly together can be meaningful and comforting.
Schedule a Visit to a Heritage Memory Care Community
As a leader in dementia care, Heritage is proud to offer memory care support across the state of Michigan. We invite you to schedule a time to visit and learn more. You might find our respite care services to be of interest if you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia. Call the location nearest you to set up a time!
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
My 84-year-old mother has been living on her own for about 7 years now. The first few years after my father passed away, she managed very well. Recently, however, things have changed.
My husband and I both work full time and have kids in high school and college. While we visit often to help her, it really isn’t enough. She recently had a bad car accident and totaled her vehicle. My mom was at fault and decided it was time to give up driving.
We take off work to transport her to appointments, grocery stores, and more. Between my husband, kids, and I, we also do most of her household chores. It is a struggle.
A few weeks ago, I sat down with my mom to talk about moving to an assisted living community. We discussed how isolated she feels and that she knows how much stress it is on me to be a sandwich generation caregiver. Though she is receptive to the idea, I think she is also hanging on to outdated myths about senior living. She can’t exactly articulate those to me.
Can you help me to better understand the most common myths about assisted living? How can I correct my mom’s perceptions?
Sincerely,
Stacey in Hudsonville, MI
Identifying and Overcoming Common Myths About Assisted Living
Dear Stacey:
That is very perceptive! For older adults who aren’t familiar with assisted living communities, believing inaccurate information isn’t all that uncommon. These incorrect beliefs can even make a person hesitant to explore assisted living.
While it’s natural to feel unsure about such a big transition, much of the fear around assisted living comes from common myths that don’t reflect reality. Let’s bust some of the most persistent misconceptions and take a closer look at what assisted living really offers.
Myth #1: “Assisted living is the same as a nursing home.”
Reality: This is one of the most common and misleading myths. While both offer care, assisted living and nursing homes are very different.
- Assisted living communities are designed for seniors who need some help with daily activities—like dressing, bathing, or managing medications—but are still relatively independent. Residents have a private apartment or suite with plenty of freedom, privacy, and access to social activities.
- Nursing homes, on the other hand, are for individuals with more complex medical needs who require round-the-clock clinical care. Residents receive the same help with activities of daily living in addition to assistance with needs such as wound care, IV therapy, respiratory care, and more.
Myth #2: “I’ll lose my independence.”
Reality: Assisted living is meant to support independence, not take it away. Residents can decorate their own spaces, choose their daily routines, participate in activities (or not), and maintain their own lifestyles. They receive help only where and when it’s needed.
Many seniors find they actually gain independence because they’re no longer burdened by home maintenance, cooking, or managing health needs alone. They also appreciate having transportation services so they don’t have to ask adult children to drive them to appointments.
Myth #3: “The environment is hospital-like and depressing.”
Reality: Modern assisted living communities are far from institutional. They are often beautifully designed with comfortable common areas, landscaped gardens, spacious private apartments, and resort-style amenities like salons, fitness centers, and even art studios.
The goal is to make residents feel at home. There’s a strong focus on community, wellness, and fun. You’ll typically see residents engaged in both formal (e.g., craft projects or fitness classes) and informal gatherings.
Myth #4: “I won’t know anyone or make new friends.”
Reality: Assisted living communities are intentionally designed to foster friendships and engagement. With activities like group fitness classes, movie nights, outings, and shared meals, residents have countless opportunities to connect with others.
Many seniors report feeling less lonely and more socially active after moving into assisted living. That’s important because the health risks associated with isolation among older adults can be quite serious.
Myth #5: “It’s too expensive.”
Reality: While cost is a valid concern, it’s important to compare assisted living costs to current and future living expenses, including housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, and in-home care services. Assisted living often consolidates these costs into one monthly fee. In some cases, it may be more affordable than maintaining a private home, especially with the added value of safety and care.
Visit a Heritage Community in Person
Stacey, I hope that this information helps you determine what might be making your mom hesitant about assisted living communities. One final suggestion is to schedule a time to visit a Heritage community near you, including staying for lunch or dinner.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Healthy Aging
Many people think the decision to move to a senior living community is a last resort when independence is lost or health declines. In reality, choosing to make this move can be one of the most empowering, proactive decisions you’ll ever make. Instead of waiting for a crisis to force change, you can take control of your future by making the move on your own terms. You’ll be able to make a thoughtful, informed decision, not a rushed one made under great stress.
Here’s how moving to senior living can help you stay independent, connected, and confident in the next chapter of life.
How Senior Living Communities Empower Older Adults
- Stay independent longer: One of the biggest misconceptions about senior living is that it takes away your independence. In truth, it does the opposite. With the right support, you’ll be better able to maintain your autonomy. Senior living communities are designed to support your independence, not replace it. You still set your own schedule, choose your meals, decorate your space, and decide how to spend your time. The only difference? You now have access to support 24/7 when and if you need it.
Whether it’s help with daily activities like dressing or medication reminders, the right level of care is available. This allows you to continue living your life without the stress or strain of doing everything alone. This means you can focus on enjoying your days—not just getting through them.
- Say goodbye to household burdens: Taking care of a home can be physically and mentally exhausting. Cleaning, yard work, repairs, and even cooking can feel more like chores than joys as we age. In a senior living community, those responsibilities are handled for you.
Housekeeping, maintenance, meal prep, and even laundry are often included—giving you time and energy to do what you love. Imagine no longer worrying about shoveling snow, replacing a leaky faucet, or preparing three meals a day. Instead, you can spend your days socializing, relaxing, or trying something new.
- Build new friendships: Loneliness and isolation are serious concerns for older adults, especially those living alone. Senior living communities offer built-in opportunities to make friends, share meals, and enjoy social activities. From book clubs to fitness classes, movie nights to group outings, you’ll find plenty of ways to connect with others who share your interests.
Even if you’re introverted, just being in an environment with friendly neighbors and caring staff can make a big difference in your emotional well-being.
- Prioritize health and wellness: Senior living communities are focused on keeping residents as healthy and active as possible. Most offer wellness programs, fitness centers, walking clubs, and on-site health services like therapy or routine checkups. Nutrition is key to healthy aging. Community culinary teams know this and prioritize serving meals that are both tasty and tailored to the dietary needs of older adults.
Having easy access to care and wellness resources means you’re more likely to stay healthy longer—and less likely to experience preventable medical issues.
- Plan the future on your terms: Moving before a health crisis puts you in control. You get to tour communities, choose the one that feels right, and plan the transition at your own pace. Waiting too long can mean fewer choices and more stress for you and your family.
By taking action now, you’re removing future burdens from your loved ones and ensuring that your needs and preferences are met. That includes now and in the future.
- Live life to the fullest: Ultimately, senior living isn’t about giving something up, it’s about gaining more. More freedom. More time. More support. More chances to enjoy the people and activities that make life meaningful. It’s a move forward into a lifestyle that prioritizes safety, happiness, health, connection, and personal growth.
Let the Heritage Team Help You Get Started
Taking charge of your future means making thoughtful choices today. If you’re ready to focus more on living and less on managing, consider taking that first step toward a brighter, more confident future. Call a Heritage community near you to schedule a private tour!
