by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
For almost 9 years, I have been caregiving for my husband as he has battled cancer. More times than I can count, we have been told the end was near. In the last 2 years, I’ve been by his side constantly. I rarely see anyone except my adult children and grandchildren.
While my husband isn’t a difficult patient, he is demanding. He still sees me as the young and active person I was when he first got sick. In reality, I am exhausted to the point that I feel resentful of him and struggle to find empathy. It pains me greatly to admit that as we’ve been married almost 60 years, and I love him greatly.
Do you have any advice for helping me reset my emotions? Caregiving is such a difficult role.
Sincerely,
Shawna in Muskegon, MI
Rediscovering Empathy and Compassion While Caregiving
Dear Shawna:
First, let me begin by saying what you are experiencing is normal. That’s especially true given the length of time you’ve been a caregiver and how isolated it sounds like you’ve become. Be kind to yourself. You are on a very difficult journey.
Empathy involves more than simply feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their emotions and experiences. Here are some ways to nurture empathy:
- Practice mindfulness: Active listening and staying present can help caregivers prioritize their loved one’s feelings, fears, and joys. One way to rediscover empathy is through mindfulness practices. Taking a moment to breathe and center oneself can create space for compassion. Some caregivers find activities like meditation, walking, and even chair yoga make it easier to remain in a state of mindfulness.
- Connect with a support group: Sharing experiences with fellow caregivers can reinforce empathy. Joining an Alzheimer’s support group or otherwise engaging in conversations with people facing similar challenges creates a sense of community. Hearing similar stories of struggle can remind caregivers they aren’t alone in battling guilt and other difficult emotions. The emotional connections found in a support group can also be beneficial.
- Consider journaling: Journaling can be an invaluable tool for caregivers, offering a space to process emotions and experiences. It will give you an opportunity to reflect on daily challenges, celebrate small victories, and articulate feelings of stress or joy. Writing can help caregivers clarify their thoughts, track their loved one’s progress, and identify patterns in behavior or health. This practice allows caregivers to release pent-up emotions and gain perspective. By documenting the journey, caregivers can find connection, validation, and a deeper understanding of their role.
- Take caregiving breaks: My final, and possibly most important, tip is to accept that you need to take breaks. Many spouses find this tough, but it’s important for your own well-being and your ability to best care for your husband. Try asking your adult children to take turns caregiving for a few hours a week. Use the time to stroll through a bookstore, get a pedicure, have lunch or dinner with a friend, or head to the movies. Then, consider utilizing respite in a memory care community near your home on a regular basis. These short-term care services give caregivers a chance to recharge for a few days or weeks. You’ll know your spouse is in the hands of experienced professionals, which will make it easier to relax.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Shawna, and allow you to find peace.
Kind regards,
Donna
Schedule a Tour of a Specialized Dementia Care Program
The best way to learn more about respite care or specialized dementia care is with a personal visit and tour. With locations throughout Michigan, you’ll likely find a Heritage community near you! Call today to set up a time for your personal tour.
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Healthy Aging
Caring for the spirit is an essential part of holistic wellness at any age. It can impact emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. Spiritual wellness can be defined as a sense of connection to something greater than oneself, whether that is a higher power, nature, or humanity as a whole. This connection fosters a profound sense of purpose, meaning, and inner peace, which are vital for overall health.
Nurturing the Spirit
One of the primary ways that nurturing the spirit promotes wellness is by fostering resilience. Individuals who engage in spiritual practices—such as meditation, prayer, or mindfulness—typically report a greater ability to cope with stress and adversity. These practices encourage a reflective mindset that helps people learn to process their experiences more fully.
A strong spiritual foundation can help people transform potentially negative experiences into opportunities for growth. This not only helps in overcoming obstacles, but also reduces the risk of mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Engaging with one’s spiritual beliefs can cultivate a sense of hope and optimism, which are crucial for maintaining emotional balance.
So, what can you do to find the sense of peace that comes from getting in touch with your spiritual side? We have a few suggestions you might find useful.
Activities That Promote Spiritual Wellness
Engaging in mindful meditation allows you to cultivate awareness and presence. Start with just a few minutes each day, focusing on your breath or a calming mantra. This practice can help you clear mental clutter, reduce stress, and connect more deeply with your thoughts and feelings.
Spending time in nature can profoundly nurture the spirit. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by a lake, immersing yourself in natural beauty can evoke a sense of peace and connection to something greater than yourself. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells around you and allow yourself to be fully present.
Writing can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and spiritual exploration. Keep a journal where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Use prompts like “What am I grateful for?” or “What brings me joy?” to delve deeper into your inner world and track your spiritual journey over time.
- Explore creative hobbies.
Engaging in creative activities—such as painting, dancing, or playing music—is another way to nurture the spirit. Creative expression allows you to channel your emotions and thoughts into something tangible. This provides an outlet for your feelings and a means of connecting with your true self.
- Engage in acts of kindness.
Performing acts of kindness not only benefits others, but also enriches your own spirit. Whether it’s volunteering, helping a neighbor, or simply offering a smile, these small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity and foster a sense of community and belonging.
Exploring spiritual literature, poetry, or philosophy can inspire and deepen your understanding of the human experience. Choose readings that resonate with you, whether it’s the classics or contemporary poetry. Reflecting on these insights can guide you on your spiritual path.
- Consider mindful exercise.
Practices like yoga, tai chi, or qigong integrate physical movement with mindfulness. These activities help you connect your body and mind, promoting inner harmony and a sense of balance. They can also be a great way to manage chronic health conditions naturally, such as osteoarthritis and autoimmune diseases.
Bookmark the Heritage Blog
If you found this article to be of interest, we encourage you to bookmark the Heritage blog and stop back often. We regularly share new articles on topics ranging from healthy aging and senior fitness to caregiving and housing options for older adults.
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
My kids and I are trying to figure out how to celebrate the holidays with my mom, who recently moved to a senior living community. While my mom will be joining us on Christmas day at our home, we’d like to find ways to help her enjoy the season in her new place.
Because this is our first experience with the holidays in senior living, we aren’t sure what to expect. Are families welcome to visit whenever they like and participate in scheduled activities? Do you have any suggestions for how we can make the holidays more memorable for my mom? Any advice would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Patti in Traverse City, MI
Tips to Celebrate the Season with a Loved One in Senior Living
- Decorate her space: Whether it’s an apartment, villa, or suite, don’t forget to bring the spirit of the season to her space. Decorating for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or another holiday can be fun for the whole family. First, check with the team at the community to see if there are any restrictions on what kind of decorations can be used and where they can be placed. Then you’ll likely need to sort through the boxes of decorations she used in the past to see if any can be modified to fit a smaller space.
- Ask for an events schedule: From holiday craft nights to school choir visits, senior living communities tend to be busier than ever during the holiday season. If you don’t have online access to the community’s events calendar, ask for a copy. Review it with your mom and family to see which activities you might want to attend.
- Plan a holiday movie night: Another fun idea is to host a holiday movie night. If your mom’s apartment or suite isn’t set up to accommodate the number of guests you’d like to invite, ask the staff for suggestions. Many senior living communities have space residents can use for gatherings, and they’ll likely have a place to show movies. Serve favorite seasonal treats, such as iced cookies, homemade marshmallows, wassail, and eggnog.
- Organize a caroling party: One nice thing about senior living communities is being able to celebrate with neighbors without having to go outdoors on a snowy night. Talk with the community staff to see if you can organize a caroling party and go door-to-door singing holiday tunes for fellow residents.
- Have a cookie party: Don’t let the smaller space or lack of a private oven keep you from making holiday cookies together. For example, bring pre-baked cookies, icing, and all of the fixings to your mom’s place to create your masterpieces. Or consider making stovetop or microwave holiday candy,
- Plan festive outings: Just because your mom has a new address doesn’t mean she can’t attend seasonal events in the surrounding area. It might be fun to get tickets to the symphony, a special event at the art museum, or even the zoo. Dress up in your favorite holiday finery and enjoy the time together.
I hope this helps make your mom’s first holiday in her new home a memorable time!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 30, 2024 | Uncategorized
When a spouse or partner is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia, the entire family feels the impact. It is a tough condition for the senior to live with and for a family caregiver to manage. The journey can be both emotionally and physically demanding.
Understanding how to navigate the challenges that come with the disease is essential for both the caregiver and the person with Alzheimer’s. Here are some suggestions to help you feel more confident on this difficult path.
Caregiving for a Loved One with Dementia
- Educate yourself: Understanding the form of dementia your family member has is the first step in managing it effectively. Take time to learn about the disease, its stages, and the common behaviors associated with it. Resources such as the Alzheimer’s Association and the National Institute on Aging can provide you with valuable information and insight. Being informed will help you feel empowered as you care for a loved one with dementia.
- Establish a routine: Individuals with memory loss often feel more secure when there is a structured routine. Establish daily schedules for meals, activities, and rest. Consistency helps reduce anxiety and confusion, making it easier for your spouse to navigate their day.
- Communicate clearly: As the disease follows its typical course, communication may become more challenging. Using simple language, speaking slowly, and maintaining eye contact can help. Avoid overwhelming your partner with too many open-ended questions or choices at once. Non-verbal communication, such as gestures and facial expressions, can also be very effective.
- Focus on the present: Alzheimer’s can lead to memory loss and confusion about the past. For a spouse or adult child, it can also be tough not to think back to what the senior was able to do before developing dementia. Instead, try to focus on the present. Engage in activities that promote meaningful experiences, such as listening to music, going for walks, tending a garden, or doing light housekeeping chores.
- Encourage independence: While it’s important to assist your spouse, especially if their safety is at risk, it’s also essential to encourage them to do as much as they can on their own. Small tasks, such as making their bed or setting the table at mealtime, can help maintain a sense of independence and dignity. Offer help only when necessary and celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small they might seem.
- Create a safe environment: Safety is a major concern as dementia progresses. Take a proactive approach to making home modifications that can help prevent accidents. Check stair treads for stability, install grab bars in the bathroom, and ensure that frequently used items are easily accessible. Also, consider using safety devices like home security systems or GPS tracking devices if your senior loved one is at risk for wandering. Remember, research shows that six in ten adults diagnosed with Alzheimer’s will wander.
- Manage stress: Caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s can be overwhelming. It’s essential to take care of your own well-being. Establish a support system of friends and family or join a support group. Regularly connect and engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or simply spending time with loved ones.
- Plan for the future: While it may be difficult, planning for the future is vital. Discuss legal and financial matters early on, including power of attorney and advanced healthcare directives. Make arrangements for long-term care if needed. Planning can provide peace of mind and ensure that both you and your spouse are taken care of in the years ahead.
- Embrace moments of joy: Amid the challenges of the day, try to find ways to celebrate small victories and cherish joyful moments. Joy might not be as obvious as it once was, but you’ll likely find it if you look. Maintaining a positive outlook can make a significant difference for both of you.
Visit a Heritage Community Near You
Caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s is a journey filled with challenges, but it can also be rich with love and connection. When the days feel overwhelming and you need a break, don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance.
Respite care in a senior living community that offers specialized dementia care can provide much-needed support. These services can help you take a break, recharge, and maintain your own health while ensuring your spouse receives quality care. Call the Heritage community nearest you to learn more today!
