by Shelley | Apr 28, 2025 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
Dear Donna:
I’ve been caring for my mom since she was diagnosed with mid-stage Alzheimer’s almost three years ago. While I’m grateful to have her in my home, every day has a new challenge. As the disease progresses, she continues to lose the ability to care for herself. For a proud, independent woman like my mother, it is very tough to watch.
Do you have any advice for managing the emotional side of caregiving for a loved one with dementia? The emotional struggle of Alzheimer’s is as difficult for me as the physical challenges of trying to care for her.
Sincerely,
Cindy in Ann Arbor, MI
Alzheimer’s Caregiving: Dealing with Difficult Emotions
Dear Cindy:
The struggles you are navigating are so common with this disease! Alzheimer’s experts often refer to it as the long good-bye for this reason. Watching a parent or other close loved one struggle with Alzheimer’s disease is very difficult. The gradual decline in memory, cognitive function, and ability to care for themselves can feel like losing the person you’ve always known. The emotional toll can be overwhelming for family members.
Navigating this tough journey involves understanding the disease, acknowledging the emotions you’re experiencing, and finding ways to cope with the changes while maintaining a sense of hope and connection.
Understanding Alzheimer’s Disease
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive degenerative brain disorder that affects everything from memory to physical coordination. For family members, the change can be hard to accept. This is especially true when a parent begins to lose their ability to recognize familiar faces, remember important events, and care for themselves.
The emotional impact can start with shock and disbelief as you notice changes in your parent’s behavior. There’s often a sense of mourning for the person your parent used to be, which can be difficult to reconcile with the desire to remain hopeful.
Feelings of Grief and Loss
One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving for a parent with Alzheimer’s is the grief that comes with watching a loved one slowly decline. This grief can be complicated because it’s not just about the eventual physical loss, but also the emotional and cognitive changes.
You may grieve for the conversations you can no longer have, the memories you’re unable to share, and the parent you used to know. This emotional mourning may come in waves, often without warning, and it can feel isolating.
It’s important to acknowledge that grief doesn’t only occur after a loved one has passed away; it can also be a constant companion as you navigate the changes Alzheimer’s brings. This is known as anticipatory grief.
Feelings of guilt, anger, frustration, and helplessness are also common. These emotions often arise because of the overwhelming responsibilities involved in caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s. You may question if you’re doing enough or feel angry at the disease for robbing your parent of their personality and abilities.
Coping Strategies
As a caregiver, it can be easy to focus entirely on your parent’s needs. That can lead to burnout. Taking care of your own emotional and physical health is essential:
- Set boundaries: Set boundaries for what you can and can’t do as a caregiver. This will be important as your mom’s disease progresses. When tasks are outside your comfort zone, ask for and accept help from friends or professionals.
- Stay connected: Stress and sadness are very real emotions that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s causes. Try to stay connected with friends and hobbies that bring you joy. Utilize respite care to give you time to do so, if necessary.
- Join a support group: Talking with peers who understand and share this journey can be a big help. You’ll likely find in-person opportunities in your community. Virtual support groups can also be helpful.
- Enjoy your mom: While your mom may not remember past events or recognize you as she once did, maintaining a sense of presence and emotional connection can provide comfort. Playing familiar music, dancing together, or looking through photographs are some ideas to try.
Finding Hope
Despite the emotional struggle, it’s important to focus on the moments of hope and joy you experience. These moments, though often fleeting, remind us that the person we love is still there, even in a different form. It might be a smile, a laugh, or a moment of recognition that makes all the emotional pain worth it. Try to be present for those.
In the end, dealing with a parent’s Alzheimer’s is about learning to embrace both the challenges and the small victories. It’s about finding ways to keep love and compassion at the forefront of this journey, even when the road ahead is unclear.
I hope this is helpful, Cindy!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Apr 28, 2025 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My husband and I are just starting to search for a senior living community in Michigan. We’ve lived in the Saginaw area our entire married life but are willing to relocate to a different part of the state.
As we are getting started, we are trying to learn more about the different types of care and housing. What is the difference between an independent living community and an assisted living community?
We are both active now, but my husband has early-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Because of that, we know we have to plan for our current needs and the changes we know are coming. Any insight you can share will be helpful.
Sincerely,
Dennis and Diane in mid-Michigan
Understanding the Differences in Senior Living Communities
Dear Dennis and Diane:
As we age, our lifestyle and needs change. What was important in younger days might not be so anymore. It leads many people to consider moving into a community that supports their goals for the present and the future. Two common options are independent living and assisted living communities.
While both offer housing, services, and amenities tailored to older adults, they differ significantly in terms of the amount and type of care and support provided. Understanding these differences is crucial for families and individuals seeking the best fit for themselves or aging loved ones.
Independent Living Communities
Independent living communities, often referred to as retirement communities or senior apartments, are designed for older adults who are generally able to live on their own without the need for significant assistance. These communities offer a maintenance-free living environment. Residents have the independence they desire while still benefiting from a supportive setting.
This type of senior housing is ideal for people who are relatively healthy, active, and capable of performing daily tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, and managing personal care. Residents of these communities typically live in private apartments or villas with the opportunity to socialize and engage in various activities with fellow residents.
Amenities like housekeeping, transportation services, fitness centers, and dining are usually available. But independent living doesn’t offer medical care or assistance with the activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing, or toileting.
Residents are usually responsible for their own personal healthcare but may bring in outside help as needed. Some communities might offer assistance with medication by providing reminders at dosage time.
The primary goal of independent living is to provide a sense of community, freedom, and security while allowing residents to retain their autonomy. Social engagement is encouraged through organized events, outings, and recreational activities.
Assisted Living Communities
Assisted living communities, on the other hand, cater to seniors who require some assistance with daily activities or may have physical or cognitive challenges that make it difficult to live independently. They can’t provide intensive medical care or 24-hour medical supervision. Assisted living is suitable for seniors who may need help with tasks such as bathing, dressing, eating, or managing medications.
In an assisted living community, residents typically live in private suites with staff on hand to assist with personal care and other activities. Meals are provided, and many assisted living communities offer housekeeping, transportation, and recreational activities similar to those found in independent living communities.
While medical services are not as intensive as in a nursing home, assisted living communities have healthcare staff available to assist with managing medication, monitoring health conditions, and managing some types of clinical needs. Some communities may also offer specialized care for different types of dementia with trained staff available to assist with memory care.
Key Differences
The bottom line is that the main difference between independent living and assisted living lies in the level of care provided. Choosing between independent living and assisted living largely depends on an individual’s physical health and personal preferences. The best way to learn more is to schedule a visit and tour of both types of communities. I encourage you to call a Heritage location near you to set up a time!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Apr 28, 2025 | Caregiving
As we age, making our homes safer and more comfortable becomes essential. Home safety modifications can create a supportive environment that allows older adults to age in place comfortably.
For seniors, a secure and accessible living space can help maintain independence, reduce the risk of injury, and ensure peace of mind. The same is true for adult children who are moving an aging parent into their home. Taking steps to ensure they are safe with you is important.
If you are wondering how and where to get started, here are seven senior-friendly home safety modifications to consider.
Ideas for Improving Home Safety for Seniors
- Bathroom Safety Improvements
Bathrooms are one of the most common places where seniors experience accidents due to slippery surfaces and difficult-to-navigate features. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 80% of the falls older adults experience happen in the bathroom, and an estimated 200,000 seniors are treated each year for bathroom-related injuries.
Installing grab bars near the toilet, as well as in and around the bathtub, can provide extra stability. Nonslip mats or adhesive strips should be placed in the bathtub to prevent slipping. A handheld showerhead can also allow the senior to sit instead of standing under the water.
Additionally, replacing a traditional shower with a walk-in model can eliminate the need to step over high tub sides, reducing the risk of falls. Don’t forget to investigate raised toilet seats. They can make standing up and sitting down safer.
- Stair and Floor Modifications
Stairs can be especially hazardous for seniors, particularly those with balance issues. To enhance safety, consider installing stair rails on both sides of the staircase and ensuring they are sturdy and easy to grip. Make sure the staircase is well-lit and consider applying contrasting tape to the edges to make steps more visible.
In addition to stairs, flooring should be taken into account. Avoid rugs that could easily slip or create tripping hazards. Instead, opt for low-pile carpets or slip-resistant flooring, such as vinyl or rubber, in high-traffic areas. Hardwood or tile floors should also be treated with slip-resistant finishes to improve traction.
- Wider Doorways and Hallways
For seniors who use walkers, canes, or wheelchairs, it’s essential that doorways and hallways are wide enough to accommodate these mobility aids. Widening doorways or removing obstacles in narrow spaces ensures that seniors can move around their home without difficulty. Smooth, level thresholds between rooms help with safe transitions and reduce the risk of tripping.
- Good Lighting
Adequate lighting is crucial to preventing accidents. Pay special attention to areas where seniors might be moving around at night, such as the kitchen, bathroom, and hallway. Adding motion-sensor lighting in key areas can help illuminate spaces when needed.
Night-lights in bedrooms and bathrooms are also helpful for guiding seniors to the restroom during the night without the need to fumble for switches. Bright, even lighting throughout the home reduces shadows that may obscure potential hazards.
- Smart Home Technology
Incorporating smart technology into a senior’s home can greatly improve safety and convenience. Devices such as smart thermostats, voice-activated assistants (like Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant), and automated lights can be controlled without needing to move or strain.
Additionally, smart home security systems with cameras, doorbell monitoring, and emergency alerts can provide an extra layer of protection.
- Kitchen Safety Modifications
In the kitchen, modifications that reduce the risk of burns, cuts, and falls can be crucial. Fires can be particularly hazardous for older adults, especially those who have mobility issues and can’t evacuate quickly. But there are safety measures that can help. By installing a stovetop device that has an automatic shut-off feature in case a pan is left unattended, you may avoid a potential fire. Not hanging curtains, towels, or aprons too close to a burner is another preventative measure.
Lowering cabinets or using pull-out shelves can make it easier for seniors to access kitchenware without straining or reaching. Finally, don’t forget to place nonslip mats in front of the sink and stove.
- Emergency Response Systems
Lastly, emergency response systems provide an immediate way to call for help in case of an emergency. Wearing a pendant or wristband with a built-in alert button ensures that, even if a senior is unable to get to a phone, help can be summoned quickly.
Consider a Move to a Senior Living Community
By making these modifications, even temporarily while you are searching for an assisted living or memory care community, seniors may be able to reduce their risk of accidents. Should your search for senior living include locations in Michigan, we invite you to consider Heritage. Call a community near you to set up a time to visit.
by Shelley | Apr 28, 2025 | Healthy Aging
As we age, the demands of life often shift. We may find ourselves with more time to reflect on our past, present, and future. As people look to the future, many question their purpose going forward. But the search for meaning is important at every age, not just as we grow older.
Living with purpose can bring fulfillment, joy, and peace. Whether you’re entering retirement, transitioning into a new chapter of life, or simply reflecting on your legacy, a sense of purposefulness can be transformative.
The Importance of Purpose in Older Age
Creating a lifestyle of meaningful days can have tangible benefits for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Research shows that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to experience lower rates of depression, anxiety, and stress. Moreover, they often enjoy better overall health, including a reduced risk of chronic diseases and even longer life expectancy.
Living with purpose can also enhance cognitive function, helping to keep the mind sharp and engaged as one ages. Researchers think it’s because curiosity leads people to keep learning and challenging the brain. In essence, purpose gives the brain an aerobic workout.
Redefining Purpose in Later Life
As we age, our sense of purpose may evolve. What mattered to us in our younger years—career goals, personal achievements—may no longer hold the same weight. Instead, we might shift our focus to more introspective pursuits, such as fostering personal growth, nurturing relationships, or giving back to our communities. Redefining purpose in later life doesn’t mean abandoning previous goals but rather finding new ways to express meaning.
For many older adults, this process may involve exploring passions and hobbies that were put on hold due to the demands of work or family life. It might also mean pursuing new interests or rekindling old ones—whether it’s painting, writing, gardening, or learning a new skill. Engaging in creative or meaningful activities can provide a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that invigorates the soul.
Giving Back: The Power of Legacy
Another key element of living with purpose as you grow older is considering the impact you want to have on future generations. As we accumulate life experience, there is often a deep desire to leave a positive legacy. This might be through mentoring younger people, volunteering for causes that resonate, or simply sharing wisdom gained over the years. Many older individuals find great purpose in volunteering in their communities or supporting causes they are passionate about.
The idea of creating a legacy can also extend to the relationships we nurture. Being present and offering guidance or emotional support to loved ones can provide a sense of connection and fulfillment. These relationships create a web of meaning that sustains us as we grow older.
Embracing the Journey
Living with purpose as we grow older involves embracing change and finding meaning in each stage of life. It requires each of us to be open to new experiences and have the courage to follow paths that may not have been part of our original plans. That means saying yes to new opportunities when we might be tempted to say no.
By focusing on what truly matters—whether it’s relationships, creativity, contribution, or personal growth—we can approach aging with a renewed sense of vitality. We can transform retirement years into a time of self-discovery, fulfillment, and deep connection.
Visit a Heritage Community Near You
Experiencing meaningful days is easier when you are part of a community. Heritage residents have ample opportunities to build a lifestyle that allows them to stay active and engaged each day. We invite you to schedule a visit to a Heritage location near you to learn more!
