Dear Donna:
My husband and I are helping his mom start to downsize her home. We are planning to begin the search for a senior living community in January. My husband and his siblings were raised in this home and the idea of sorting through everything is overwhelming.
Do you have any tips for families trying to prepare a parent for downsizing to a senior living community? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
Sincerely,
Nicole in Dundee, MI
Tips for Downsizing Before a Move to Senior Living
Dear Nicole:
First, know that you aren’t alone. This is a common concern families share with us. In fact, it’s one of the leading reasons people put off making this move despite knowing what a good decision it is.
Over the years, our teams have learned many best practices to help make this process feel less daunting. The two we usually talk about first are starting early and being patient and empathetic. Since you are already beginning the process, you’ve conquered our first suggestion.
With regard to demonstrating empathy and patience, we like to remind adult children that what you see as clutter might in fact be sentimental to an older person. When in doubt, ask questions about anything your mother-in-law wants to hang on to that might seem unnecessary.
Here are a few more suggestions that you might find helpful:
- Create a work plan.
Set clear goals for each room and determine what you want to keep, donate, or discard. Many families find it helpful to utilize the four box method. Get four boxes and label them “keep,” “donate,” “sell,” and “trash.” As you work your way through each room, place items in the appropriate box.
- Consider the new space.
Most people moving from a house to senior living will have less space in their new apartment or villa. If you’ve got a few senior living communities in mind already, you might be able to get ballpark measurements for the new space. That will give you time to think about what will fit. Use this as a guideline for what to keep and what to rehome.
- Tackle one room at a time.
Focus on one room or area of the house at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Complete that space before moving on to the next. It may be helpful to start in the rooms used least often, such as the basement, attic, or guest rooms.
- Set a timer.
Working in short bursts (e.g., 30 minutes) of time may make it easier to maintain focus and make the process less daunting. It’s also easier to fit thirty minutes or an hour of downsizing into your day or week.
- Use the “one-year rule.”
When it comes to cleaning out the closets, parting with clothing, shoes, or accessories can be tough. If your mother-in-law hasn’t worn something in the past year, encourage her to consider letting it go. You can adapt the length of time a bit for seasonal goods and household items. For example, if she has an abundance of Christmas decorations, those that haven’t been used in at least three years might need to find a new home.
- Digitize when possible.
Scan important documents, photos, and keepsakes to reduce physical clutter. Not only will it take up less space in the new senior living apartment or villa, but it may also be easier to organize for future use or reminiscing.
- Involve others.
Get family or friends involved for support and a fresh perspective. They can help you make decisions on items you might be holding on to. One word of caution, however, is to select people you feel will be supportive of this transition and who have a serious desire to make it easier.
- Hold an estate sale.
If you have a lot of items your mother-in-law will need to part with, consider hosting an estate sale. It’s a good way to sell a lot of things quickly and can help you finance some of the expenses associated with moving. Be sure to ask for references from friends and family who have used estate sale companies in the recent past whenever possible.
- Make a donation plan.
Research local charities, shelters, or organizations that will accept your donations and schedule a drop-off or pickup. This might require a little time depending upon what you have to give away.
- Dispose of hazardous waste properly.
Check local guidelines for disposing of items like paint, batteries, and electronics. Your city or township probably has collection sites or hosts safe disposal days a few times every year.
- Stay committed.
One last tip is to remind yourself of the benefits of downsizing, such as a smoother move, less stress, and a more organized living space. While it may feel like a lot of work now, the end result will be worth it!
One final resource you might want to consider is hiring a senior move manager. These professionals have experience helping families with all phases of a transition to a senior living community. From downsizing a home to organizing an estate sale, they provide a valuable service to busy families.
I wish you the best of luck, Nicole! I would also like to invite you to visit a Heritage location with your mother-in-law when you are ready to begin your search.
Kind regards,
Donna