Dear Donna:
My great uncle lives with a couple of very serious medical conditions that require many health care appointments. Because he lives close to me and he doesn’t have any children, I have become his primary caregiver. While we have people who help with housekeeping and meals, my husband and I manage pretty much everything else for him.
The two of us and our teenagers are very fond of my uncle and want to do whatever we can to support him. However, I worry that I am not doing a great job monitoring his care. His needs are getting more and more complex.
Do you have any tips on advocating for a family elder? We could use whatever suggestions you might have with regard to health care, finances, and more.
Sincerely,
Katie in Spring Hill, MI
Tips to Help Family Caregivers Advocate for an Elder
Dear Katie:
What a great question! As our loved ones age, they often face increasing medical, financial, and legal challenges. We also know family members often worry about how well they are doing caring for a loved one. So, we are happy to have the opportunity to share some ideas.
Whether it’s navigating healthcare systems, dealing with insurance companies, or researching senior living communities, here are practical tips for being an effective advocate.
- Start by listening.
The first step in advocating for an older family member is understanding their needs, preferences, and concerns. Make time for open conversations with your uncle to make sure he feels valued and respected. Even if his memory is fading or he struggles with communication, it’s important to involve him in decisions as much as possible. Advocacy isn’t about taking control—it’s about empowering a senior loved one and helping them be heard.
- Get organized.
Keep all important documents, such as medical records, insurance information, legal documents (wills, power of attorney), and contact information for doctors or caregivers, in one place. Having organized records can help you respond quickly in emergencies and ensure you have accurate information when speaking with professionals.
You can also create a folder—physical or digital—with a log of appointments, medications, and care instructions. This helps you stay on top of your uncle’s needs and ensures consistency if others are helping provide care.
- Learn about their rights.
Seniors have specific rights, especially in medical and long-term care settings. Learn about patients’ rights, elder abuse laws, and Medicare or Medicaid regulations. This knowledge will help you identify when something isn’t right—like being overcharged for care or pressured into unwanted treatments—and speak up effectively. Resources like the National Institute on Aging and your local Area Agency on Aging can provide helpful guidance.
- Communicate clearly and respectfully.
When interacting with healthcare providers, social workers, or service agencies, you may need to be assertive but respectful. Prepare questions ahead of appointments, take notes, and don’t hesitate to ask for clarification. If something doesn’t feel right, seek a second opinion.
Always aim to keep your loved one informed about conversations and decisions. Even if they’re unable to fully participate, being transparent helps maintain trust and dignity.
- Watch for changes and warning signs.
Advocacy also means being observant. Watch for signs of elder abuse, neglect, financial exploitation, or declining health. Unexplained injuries, sudden changes in mood, unusual financial transactions, or poor hygiene can all be red flags. If you suspect something is wrong, speak up and report it to the appropriate authorities or professionals.
I hope these tips are useful to you and your husband, Katie! If you have any more questions, we encourage you to contact a Heritage location near you. One of our experienced team members will be happy to help!
Kind regards,
Donna