by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad has been on his own since my mom passed away two years ago. She was sick for a long time and my dad was her primary caregiver.
I am increasingly concerned about how lonely and isolated he has become. I live just over two hours away, so I can’t be there more than once a week. My dad has started restricting his driving, which I think is wise.
Recently, I’ve started talking with my dad about moving to a senior living community. From what I’ve learned, I believe assisted living would be a good fit for him. When I talk with my dad about moving, however, he continues to tell me that he’s “not ready yet.”
I’d like to start creating a list of the advantages these communities offer so that I can be more specific when I talk with my dad. I’m thinking I could present individual benefits to him in a low-key manner over time. Can you help me better understand what I should put on my list to share with him?
Sincerely,
Nicole in northern Michigan
Explaining the Benefits of Assisted Living to a Senior Loved One
Dear Nicole:
Thank you for asking this question and for bringing up the phrase “not ready yet.” It is indeed one of the most common responses adult children hear when discussing senior living communities with a family member. The phrase can mean anything from being overwhelmed at the idea of selling a home and moving to being fearful of giving up their independence.
Creating a list of benefits offered by assisted living to gradually share with your dad is a good idea. Planting these seeds might make him more open to the idea of making a move.
As you’ve likely discovered, assisted living communities offer a supportive environment for older adults who need help with daily activities. They do so while allowing residents to maintain as much independence as possible. These communities combine housing, personalized care, and a focus on quality of life.
Here are the key benefits of assisted living:
- Personalized Support with Daily Activities
Residents receive support with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as:
- Bathing
- Dressing
- Grooming
- Medication management
- Mobility
- Toileting assistance
This helps residents stay safe and comfortable while still maintaining autonomy.
- Safety and Security
Assisted living communities are designed with seniors’ safety in mind, offering:
- 24/7 staff availability
- Emergency call systems
- Secure premises
- Fall-prevention features in apartments and bathrooms
These features help reduce risks and provide peace of mind for residents and their families.
- Social Engagement and Community
Loneliness and isolation are common among older adults who live alone. Assisted living offers:
- Group dining
- Clubs and interest-based activities
- Outings and social events
- Shared spaces for interaction
Regular social engagement improves emotional well-being and cognitive health.
- Nutritious Meals and Dining Options
Residents enjoy:
- Balanced, chef-prepared meals
- Accommodations for dietary needs
- Social dining experiences
Proper nutrition supports overall health and can reduce the risk of chronic illness.
- Housekeeping and Maintenance
Assisted living eliminates the burden of home upkeep by providing:
- Housekeeping and laundry services
- Apartment maintenance
- Landscaping and snow removal
This frees up residents to focus on enjoying their time and hobbies.
- Transportation Services
Communities often provide scheduled transportation for:
- Errands
- Doctor’s appointments
- Outings
This allows residents to stay active and independent without needing to drive.
- Health and Wellness Programs
Many assisted living communities offer:
- On-site wellness classes
- Health checkups, such as blood pressure screenings
- Access to on-site fitness equipment
These programs help residents maintain physical strength, balance, and overall well-being.
Assisted Living Brings Peace of Mind for Families
One final tip is to talk with your dad about how this move will benefit you and other loved ones. You can worry less knowing he is in a safe, secure environment with opportunities to make friends and build a strong social circle. Freeing you from doing hands-on caregiving tasks will allow the two of you to spend more quality time together.
I hope that all of this is helpful to you, Nicole. I’d like to invite you to visit one of our Michigan assisted living communities, even if it is on your own to learn more about our programs and services.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Aug 15, 2022 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My mom has been living alone since my father passed away almost 5 years ago. She’s recently experienced a few falls and fractured her arm. After her last fall, Mom’s primary care doctor suggested we visit some assisted living communities. He told us we were lucky her injuries weren’t worse as falls are a leading cause of disability in seniors. He suggested we think seriously about making the transition before winter.
My mom seemed to agree with the doctor’s recommendation, but once we got back to my house she admitted it was only for his benefit. Since then, she’s said she’s not ready to move to assisted living.
Mom is staying with my family and me until her arm heals. I really think she needs to move to assisted living after that. Her house is old and not built with a senior citizen’s needs in mind.
What can I do to get my mom to visit a few assisted living communities? I don’t know how to get her past the idea that she’s not ready for this change.
Sincerely,
Daphne in Saginaw, MI
When a Senior Says They Aren’t Ready to Move Yet
Dear Daphne:
We’ve heard the phrase not ready yet many times! It can mean different things to different people. While only your mom can translate exactly what she means by it, there are some common concerns older adults have about this transition.
- “I’m afraid of making such a big change.”
The fear of change is one of the most common concerns seniors have when they start to explore moving to an assisted living community. Because it’s difficult to express that emotion, however, they might not admit it right away. Patience and heart-to-heart talks with your mom might be necessary.
Try to put yourself in her shoes as much as you can. Think about all she’s facing: giving up her home, moving to an unfamiliar place, and being surrounded by people she doesn’t know. Start by just visiting a handful of communities together to see what they are like. If you share your concerns with the staff ahead of time, they can introduce her to a few residents and help make her feel welcome.
- “Assisted living is for rich people.”
Finances are another concern seniors have when they begin to consider assisted living. It might initially seem like a big expense. However, when you break the costs of assisted living down and compare them to living at home, it’s easier to see how affordable it is.
If this fear is holding your mom back, try to sit down with her to chat. Review the different ways to pay for assisted living and all of the services and amenities that are included. Also talk about the expenses associated with living at home, especially when she needs more care and support.
- “I’m afraid I won’t fit in.”
It’s human nature to worry you won’t be accepted or feel comfortable when you move to a new place. When your mom says she’s not ready for assisted living, what she might be feeling is anxiety about whether she’ll fit in. You can address this concern in a few ways.
First, remind her that she’ll be able to maintain relationships with the family and friends she already has. She can invite them to lunch, dinner, or a special event.
You could suggest narrowing down the options to one or two communities, and then get to know each one better. Most assisted living communities invite prospective residents to join them for meals and life enrichment activities.
Encouraging a Senior to Make a Move
Finally, remember that reluctance or resistance are natural responses to change. This is a big decision, so a senior’s concerns are perfectly understandable. While it may take a while for your mother to see the benefits of a move, the two of you will likely be able to work through her concerns.
I wish you and your mom the best as you try to make an informed decision about her future.
Kind regards,
Donna
Schedule a Visit to a Heritage Community
With locations throughout Michigan and one in Indiana, there are many options for a senior loved one to find an assisted living community that’s a good fit. Call the Heritage community of your choice to set up a personal tour today!
by Shelley | Nov 27, 2023 | Healthy Aging
Winter is nearly here again for those of us in Michigan and Indiana. When it arrives, ice, snow, and frigid temperatures can be tough on a vehicle. Yet, winterizing the car is sometimes overlooked.
Even if your senior loved one doesn’t drive much anymore, it’s still important to check their vehicle for winter readiness. This list is a great resource to help you learn how to winterize their car.
Winter Safety Checklist for a Loved One’s Car
- Have a mechanic check the brakes and exhaust: Snowy streets and parking lots can cause drivers to use their brakes more often than in good weather. It’s important to make sure they are in good condition before the snow flies. Ask your mechanic to check them out. While you are there, also have them check the exhaust system for carbon monoxide leaks. This is especially essential during the winter months when car windows are mostly kept closed.
- Test the heater, defroster, headlights, and taillights: Drivers count on each of these car features on cold winter days. Since there are fewer daylight hours during winter, making sure no lights are burned out is vital. The heater and defroster are equally essential to safe driving, so make sure to try those out as well.
- Check the tires: Tire tread depth and tire pressure are two additional items that need to be inspected on a senior loved one’s vehicle. The penny test is an easy way to determine the status of the tire treads. Refer to the vehicle owner’s manual for the recommended tire pressure. It’s best to replace aging tires before the snow falls and roads become hazardous.
- Replace or refill fluids: Coolant, wiper fluid, and oil all need to be refilled or replaced on a regular basis. This is another task the vehicle owner’s manual will provide guidelines on. Unless you have experience maintaining cars, you’ll probably want to leave the oil change to a professional.
- Invest in a senior-friendly ice scraper: Most people who live in colder climates will be scraping ice and snow off their car windows during the winter. That’s why it’s important to have a sturdy scraper. One that also has a brush to dust off snow is best. These reviews might be helpful in finding a long-handle or extendable ice scraper for your senior family member.
- Keep a winter safety kit in the car: Put together and stash a winter safety kit in the backseat of the vehicle. Stock it with essentials the senior might need in case of an emergency. While no one likes to think the worst will happen, it’s best to be prepared. A flashlight, cell phone power bank charger, blankets, flares, candles, matches, protein bars, and bottled water should all be in the bag. Also consider adding a change of clothing, boots, and essential medications.
More Winter Safety Reminders for Older Adults
While you are preparing a senior for winter weather, here are a few additional tips drivers should keep in mind:
- Watch the tank: Keep your gas tank at least half full during the winter. Should you need to pull off to the side of the road, having enough gas will allow you to turn your car on every 30 minutes to stay warm.
- Monitor the weather: Even a quick trip to the grocery store can become dangerous when an unexpected winter storm blows through. If you don’t already, consider adding a weather app to your smart phone. You’ll be able to receive alerts when hazardous weather is on the horizon.
- Keep cupboards stocked: No one wants to be forced to drive on a cold, snowy day or stand in long lines at the grocery store as a storm approaches. That’s why it’s important to keep an adequate supply of food and medication on hand all winter long. Don’t forget to do the same for your pets, too.
- Explore alternative transportation: Ride sharing services or local Dial-A-Ride programs can help older adults avoid driving during the winter. If you aren’t familiar with those in your loved one’s area, call their local agency on aging. They’ll likely have a list of transportation options they can share with you.
If you need some ideas on how to get your loved one’s house ready for winter too, this information might be useful.
Let Heritage Do the Driving
Transportation is one of the most popular resident services at Heritage Senior Communities. From physician appointments to trips to the local shopping mall and other popular attractions, call a nearby Heritage community to learn how our transportation services work!
by Shelley | Aug 20, 2018 | Healthy Aging
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