Dear Donna:

My husband of 57 years passed away recently and I’ve been living alone since. Our house and yard are just too much for me to keep up with. I feel so tied down that I can’t travel to see my out-of-state grandkids as often as I would like.

While I’m still very active and independent, I know that won’t always be the case. I don’t want to be a burden to my children and grandchildren.

I’ve decided to find a senior living community that has both independent living and assisted living on the same campus. My challenge is where and how to start the search. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

With gratitude,

Karyn in Charlevoix, MI

Tips to Start the Search for Senior Living

Dear Karyn:

First, I would like to offer my condolences on the loss of your husband. That must be a difficult adjustment after 57 years together. It’s understandable that you might want to spend time traveling to be with your children and grandchildren.

From experience, I do have some suggestions for starting your search for senior living that I think you will find useful.

  • Geographic preference: Begin with location. Would you prefer to remain in northern Michigan? Or are you considering moving closer to an adult child? The latter can be tricky if they have a job that might require them to relocate in the future.
  • Budgetary considerations: Another important issue is your budget. You’ll want to have a thorough understanding of your income and assets. It’s also a good idea to create a list of your current expenses. People often make the mistake of thinking senior living is much more costly than staying at home and hiring a caregiver. In reality, when all of the current expenses and future needs are factored in, the costs might be fairly similar.
  • Personal recommendations: Do you have any friends, neighbors, or acquaintances who have moved to a senior living community? The advice and insight of someone you trust can’t be beat. Ask if you could sit down with them over a cup of coffee to talk about what they do and don’t like about the community. Sometimes a primary care physician or their staff might have insight they can share.
  • Community reviews: Conduct an online search for reviews about communities you are considering to read what residents and families have to say. While reviews should never be the primary resource of making a decision like this, they can be helpful in identifying red flags.
  • In-person visits: Nothing can replace in-person visits to senior living communities. Prepare a good list of questions to ask ahead of your tour. Take your time. Talk with staff, residents, and other visitors you might encounter. Visit more than once and go at different times, including the weekend. You might also want to take a friend along for a second set of eyes. Be sure to take good notes that you can refer back to as you work your way through each community you are considering.

Finally, if you are a little hesitant about making this transition, ask the community if they offer short-term stays. They are often referred to as respite care. While many think these programs are designed only to give the caregiver a break, they can also be utilized as a trial run to see how you like it.

I hope this information is helpful to you, Karyn! Best of luck on your search.

Kind regards,

Donna