by Shelley | Jun 14, 2022 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
Dear Donna:
I’m the primary caregiver for my husband, who has Alzheimer’s. Among the many challenges the disease presents is eating. He struggles to manipulate utensils but gets upset if I try to help him. I need to come up with some foods that are nutritious but easy for my husband to eat independently. Do you have any suggestions for healthy foods to serve adults with Alzheimer’s?
The other challenge I’m trying to overcome is how to encourage my husband to eat. I just can’t get him to sit down and eat at mealtimes. Because of it, he continues to lose weight.
I’m in need of some good advice, so any tips you can share would be much appreciated!
Best,
Alice in Williamsport, MI
Menu Planning When a Loved One Has Alzheimer’s
Dear Alice:
What great questions! We often hear these from family caregivers. Because Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, nutrition challenges continue to worsen as time goes by.
First, let’s tackle why your husband might not be eating. In addition to being frustrated by his lack of manual dexterity like you mentioned, your husband might be experiencing vision changes.
Adults with Alzheimer’s often develop problems with depth perception and color discrimination. That can make it tough to see food served on a plate or bowl of similar color. Diced peaches served in a pale pink or yellow bowl, for example, can be tough to see.
Other common reasons adults with Alzheimer’s disease might not seem interested in eating include:
- A distracting dining environment, such as one that is cluttered or has background noise
- A loss of sense of smell or taste
- A lack of interest in food due to medication side effects or undiagnosed depression
- Dentures that no longer fit properly or a problem with a tooth that makes chewing painful
A few steps you can take to encourage your husband’s interest in food might be:
- Changing the dining environment: Create a peaceful, clutter-free place for him to eat. If he responds positively to music, play it softly in the background. It also helps to use brightly colored dishes that make food easier to distinguish. The Red Plate Study at Boston University found people with Alzheimer’s ate 25 percent more food if it was presented on red dinnerware.
- Using adaptive dinnerware: Talk with your husband’s primary care physician or an occupational therapist about adaptive dinnerware. Plate guards and food bumpers, for example, make it easier for food to be scooped up with a utensil. Large utensils with grips also help.
- Utilizing aromatherapy: Since taste can fade with Alzheimer’s, serving more flavorful foods may help. Going a little heavier on seasonings might offer an aromatherapeutic value that pumps up appetite. While it might taste like too much seasoning to you, someone with Alzheimer’s might find it just right.
- Encouraging exercise: Engaging in some form of exercise each day may help stimulate your husband’s appetite. Talk with his primary care doctor for advice on what types of fitness activities might be safest.
- Scheduling a dental appointment: If your husband hasn’t seen the dentist in a while, it’s probably a good idea to schedule an appointment. The dentist can check for any issues that might impact eating.
As far as easy-to-eat foods to serve your husband, “Healthy Finger Foods for Seniors with Dementia” is a great resource to read and bookmark. It has a variety of ideas ranging from French toast sticks to smoothies.
I hope this information is helpful to you and your husband!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Jun 6, 2022 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
Last weekend, my brother and I talked with our mother about moving to an assisted living community. It was just a preliminary conversation to gauge how receptive she would—or wouldn’t—be to this idea.
Mom gave up driving a few months ago and we feel like she is spending too much time alone. We also worry that something might happen to her while she’s by herself, and she won’t be able to call for help.
Much to our surprise, mom was amenable to learning more about assisted living communities and visiting a few. My brother and I created a list of nearby communities and researched them online. Our next step is to call those that seem like a good fit for our mom. We’d like to narrow our list down to four communities to visit in person.
What questions should we ask on our first call to these communities? I want to make sure we don’t forget something important!
Sincerely,
Denise in Midland, MI
Questions to Ask to Learn More About Assisted Living
Dear Denise:
How great that your mother is interested in moving! Adult children are often surprised when things go this way. It sounds like you and your brother are very organized and off to a great start. I’m happy to suggest some questions that will help you and your brother make an informed choice.
If I were calling assisted living communities on behalf of a senior loved one, here are a few questions I would make sure to ask:
- What is the ratio of team members to residents?
- How long has the average team member worked at the community?
- Is there a wait list? If so, how long is the anticipated wait?
- How much is the monthly fee?
- What services and amenities are included in the base fee? What additional fees should you expect to pay each month?
- Is the resident required to sign a long-term contract?
- Can the community’s dining staff accommodate special diets?
- What types of activities are there for residents to participate in and how often do they occur?
- Are transportation services available for doctor’s appointments and other outings? Is there a cost involved for utilizing it?
- Where/how can you access the assisted living community’s most recent state survey? (Note: these are often viewable on the state Department of Health or Department of Aging website.)
- Are residents able to decorate their apartments with their own belongings?
- Do apartments have safety features (grab bars, fire suppression system) and an emergency call system?
- Does the community offer medication assistance under the supervision of a nurse?
- Are there on-site fitness activities and wellness programs?
While you will likely have your own questions specific to your mother, this should give you a baseline understanding of a community.
Best of luck to your family! I hope this transition goes smoothly.
Kind regards,
Donna
Visit a Heritage Senior Community in Michigan
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by Shelley | May 23, 2022 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
There are many types of dementia. Alzheimer’s is the most common and well-known type. Alzheimer’s is estimated to account for up to 80% of all cases of dementia. Like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease (PD) is classified as a neurodegenerative disease. It occurs when the body doesn’t produce enough dopamine, the chemical required for smooth muscle movement.
As PD progresses, it can cause balance problems as well as tremors and rigidity in the limbs. Those are the symptoms most people associate with PD, but a lesser-known side effect of Parkinson’s is dementia.
Common during the later stages of PD, this aspect of the disease can be a challenge for family caregivers. Researchers believe up to 80% of adults with Parkinson’s will eventually develop dementia. As is true of other types of dementia, the condition can create unique safety issues.
Understanding Parkinson’s Dementia
The symptoms of Parkinson’s dementia are similar to other forms of dementia. While the disease impacts every person differently, the symptoms below are among the most common:
- Forgetfulness
- Memory loss
- Hallucinations
- Depression
- Difficulty concentrating
- Anxiety and agitation
- Change in disposition
- Inability to carry on a conversation
- Insomnia and other sleep disorders
- Quick to anger or become tearful
- Difficulty finding the right words
- Loss of judgment
Supporting the Needs of an Adult with Parkinson’s
Unlike Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease impacts people at a younger age, usually around 60. The person might be towards the end of their career and looking forward to retirement when they are diagnosed. Some have kids in college. It’s a scenario that can lead to both physical and financial challenges for the entire family.
In the mid-to-late stages of the disease, families might find an adult day program meets the person’s needs during daytime hours. That can allow a spouse to continue working. Hiring an in-home caregiver might be another short-term solution to consider, especially if safety is a concern.
Other families turn to assisted living communities for support because they offer a variety of solutions. Short-term respite care at an assisted living for a week or two allows family caregivers to take a break. As their loved one’s needs increase, the transition to assisted living on a long-term basis goes more smoothly. The staff and the new resident are already familiar with each other.
Assisted living communities combine support with independence. An adult with PD can live in their own apartment knowing the support of caregivers is nearby. Caregivers also help with activities of daily living, such as bathing and grooming. They also provide medication management services. Healthy meals, housekeeping, laundry services, and transportation are included or available. Equally important is the wide range of daily life enrichment activities. That helps improve quality of life.
If an adult with PD develops dementia after moving to assisted living, they can transfer to the community’s specialized dementia care unit. These programs are designed to support the unique needs of people with dementia. From dedicated dining services to meaningful daily activities, memory care allows residents to live their best quality of life despite the disease.
If an adult in your family has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease or Parkinson’s dementia, we encourage you to call the Heritage Senior Community nearest you. One of our experienced team members can help you learn more about respite, assisted living, and specialized dementia care for your loved one.
by Shelley | May 16, 2022 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My mom has been living alone the last five years since my dad passed. While she did well the first few years, her health has been declining over the last two. She lives in an older home with a lot of stairs, outdated bathrooms, and a detached garage set back from the house. It’s not a great environment for a senior who is struggling.
My husband and I help her as much as possible, but we both work full time. My worry is something will happen to her, and we won’t know until it’s too late. I’m also concerned that she is lonely and isolated. She deserves a better quality of life.
I would like to talk with my mom about moving to an assisted living community, but I’m not sure how to start the conversation. I really have no idea how she might feel about it. Do you have any advice?
Sincerely,
Cindy in Holland, MI
Tips for Talking with an Aging Parent about Assisted Living
Dear Cindy,
It sounds like your mom would be an ideal candidate for a move to an assisted living community. Too often we see families waiting for a crisis to occur before considering a move. Doing so overlooks how much an assisted living community has to offer, such as good nutrition, fitness opportunities, friendship, and the chance to participate in activities.
Take the following steps to learn about assisted living and to start the conversation with your mom:
- Learn about the benefits: Spend some time researching the benefits assisted living communities offer to residents. From safety features, like grab bars and barrier-free showers, to socialization, assisted living communities support an improved quality of life.
- Explore local options: Adult children may decide to visit local assisted living communities to see what is available. It will allow you to better understand pricing structure, availability, and each community’s unique personality. You can rule out those that aren’t a good fit. Once you talk with your mother about moving, you can visit communities that seem like the best options.
- Create talking points: Before you sit down with your mother, think through what you’ve learned about assisted living communities. How will this move allow your mom (and you) to enjoy a better quality of life? Also, consider potential roadblocks she may bring up. For example, is your mom likely to think it’s too expensive? Be prepared to talk through the cost of remaining at home—insurance, groceries, utilities, lawn care, snow removal, and more.
- Be realistic: It’s rare that a senior will agree to give up their home and move during a single conversation. Unless her safety is immediately at risk, this will likely be a series of conversations you have before your mom begins to visit communities. Forcing a timeline can result in her refusing to consider moving at all.
I hope these tips are helpful to you, Cindy! Please let me know if you have any more questions.
Kind regards,
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities in Michigan and Indiana
A family-owned senior living company for over 25 years, Heritage owns and operates senior communities throughout Michigan and Indiana. Learn more by calling the location nearest you today!
by Shelley | May 9, 2022 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
My dad’s health has been gradually declining over the past few years. During that time, my husband, children, and I have been helping him out around the house and with transportation. I’ve also started preparing most of his meals. It’s become a near full-time role for me.
While we’ve managed so far, my siblings are always complaining about what I do and don’t do for my dad. Both live nearby but neither one pitches in to help. It’s causing friction between my husband and I as he sees the physical and emotional toll it’s taking on me.
The time has come to have an honest discussion with my siblings about their behavior and lack of support. I’m just not sure how to do that. Do you have any advice?
Sincerely,
Sophia in Grand Haven, MI
Working Together to Support an Aging Parent
Dear Sophia:
First, know that we often hear from others in the same situation. Watching a parent’s decline stirs up difficult and complex emotions. In many families, one sibling shoulders the primary responsibilities of caregiving. That said, it doesn’t make your situation any easier. But I have a few suggestions that might be useful.
- Create a current task list: List the tasks and errands your family helps your father with. It’s probably a good idea to separate these items by frequency. Make a column for daily tasks like assisting your dad with his showers and a column for weekly chores like lawn care. A third column can be used for intermittent tasks like transportation and snow removal.
- Make a to-do list: Also make a list of items that you haven’t gotten around to. This can include household maintenance like painting the front door or fixing a broken handle.
- Share responsibilities: Think through everything you do for your father. Which tasks do you want to continue doing? Which would you like help with? Your siblings may even need to take over for a while if you and your husband need a break.
- Schedule a family meeting: Once you have organized your thoughts and needs, you and your husband should meet with your siblings. It may help to email them the list of chores you created. Let them know you are looking to work together to split up the responsibilities more equitably.
- Invite an unbiased advisor: Some families find it useful to enlist the services of an aging life care professional. They can mediate family disagreements and assist in hiring and supervising in-home care professionals. Also known as geriatric care managers, they are experts in navigating the search for a senior living community.
One final suggestion is to consider a week or two of respite care at an assisted living center for your father. He might enjoy having caregivers nearby 24/7 and the opportunity to socialize with his peers. The break will also give you time to work through the situation with your siblings.
I hope this is helpful, Sophia! Please feel free to contact me or a member of one of our local Heritage communities if you have any questions!
Kind regards,
Donna
