by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 30, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My sister and I are going to have “the talk” with our mom this weekend about moving to assisted living. We will both be in town to celebrate her 85th birthday. We think one of her objections will be that she doesn’t want to leave her treasures behind. She was an antiques dealer who had stores in several small resort towns in Michigan. If she moves to an assisted living community, will she be allowed to bring her own furniture?
David in Saline, Michigan
Dear David:
Good news! In the majority of instances, your mother will be able to bring some of her treasured antiques with her to assisted living. In fact, being surrounded by some of her favorite things will probably make her new assisted living apartment feel more like home. That can help her make a smooth transition.
We typically recommend families obtain a copy of the floor plan for her style of apartment from the community’s administrator. If dimensions aren’t already labeled on the floor plan, measure them yourself or ask the community staff to do it before you start making plans. Knowing how much wall space you have in each area of the apartment will make it easier to determine which piece of furniture will fit there. A word of caution, however, is to not fill the apartment so full that it creates a fall risk for her. Be sure to leave uncluttered, open spaces and pathways in the areas she will most often use, such as from the bed to the bathroom or her favorite loveseat or chair to the kitchenette.
We hope this helps, David! If you have any questions about assisted living in Michigan, we invite you to call the Heritage Senior Community closest to your mother for help.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 26, 2014 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
When many miles separate your family from an older parent or loved one, it may be difficult to make them feel connected. This can be especially true when grandchildren are involved. To help families bridge the miles to a Michigan senior they love, we’ve pulled together a few ideas:
- Handmade cards and letters. All of those little projects kids love to make might be stacking up on your kitchen counter. Once a week, go through them with your children and bundle up a few to send to your aging loved one. If you have time, include a note that explains the artwork the child created. That makes it easier for loved ones to understand those less obvious works of art so they can talk about it with the kids by phone.
- Video conference. Skype and other video conference services are easy to use and allow older adults and families the opportunity to talk “face-to-face.” It your senior loved one isn’t excited about using a computer, consider buying a tablet device like an iPad for them. Tablets are easy to use and will allow seniors to Skype with family from the comfort of their favorite chair or sofa.
- Send pictures and video. When a loved one lives far from you, what they may miss most is watching grandchildren’s activities like soccer or tee ball. Taking videos and photos you can email for them to look at on their iPad will help them feel more involved.
- Don’t forget the telephone. In our text and email centric world it is easy to overlook how important a phone call can be to an older loved one. Technology has made telephone assistive devices easier and less expensive. If your loved one has problems with their hearing, you can find phones that have everything from an amplified ear piece to super loud ringers.
- Email and social media. Seniors are the fastest growing demographic on many different social media platforms. You can use social channels to post photos and video to share with your senior loved ones. Email is another avenue for communicating. According to Pew Internet Research, 36% of adults over the age of 50 regularly use email. While your teen might not be excited about being friends with their older loved ones on Facebook, they probably would be interested in trading emails on a routine basis.
It can be frustrating for seniors not to be as involved as they would like with faraway loved ones, but with a little extra effort they can stay in touch and feel connected.
Have you found creative ways to stay close with a faraway senior loved one? We’d love to hear how in the comments below!
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 20, 2014 | Caregiving, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
When you hear someone is being treated for depression, what likely comes to mind is counseling and medication. Most of us think these two treatments are the keys to overcoming the disorder. One overlooked avenue of helping to heal the mind, body and spirit just might be by making friends with a furry, four-legged creature. Adopting a pet has proven to be a successful way to treat depression among older adults.
How Pets Help Combat Depression in Seniors
Having a four-legged friend to kick around with can help a senior loved one boost their mood in a few different ways:
1. Unconditional love. Animals can be there for us in ways people can’t. They listen to our sorrows, share our joys and keep our secrets. If an older loved one has experienced loss, a pet can be an ideal solution for helping them to heal. They have someone to love and care for who will love them back unconditionally.
2. They get us moving. A senior who may be reluctant to take a walk around the block on their own may be willing to put in a lap or two with their furry friend. Walking is one of the best forms of exercise for older adults and is often recommended to help overcome and prevent depression.
3. Pets are social. Pets attract attention. If an older loved one has a pet they routinely take for a walk, it won’t be long before the two of them have made new friends. Children will especially be drawn to your senior family member if they have a furry companion. These new friendships can help your loved one feel more connected to the world around them. That can help them fight off depression.
Added benefits of having a pet are that they help to decrease both stress and blood pressure. Researchers agree that the simple act of stroking a pet’s fur can help calm people down.
The American Humane Association has more information on Adoption & Pet Care that you might find helpful if you are considering finding a furry friend for a senior loved one.
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 14, 2014 | Alzheimer's and Dementia, Caregiving, Uncategorized
If you have children you have likely struggled to find kid-friendly restaurants. For those who are caregivers for a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease, dining out may present a similar challenge. The disease often requires families to make special accommodations at mealtimes and to be more flexible when it comes to table manners and behaviors. When you are eating out, however, these changes might look a little unusual to other diners.
Meal Time Challenges with Alzheimer’s Disease
A night without the burden of cooking might be exactly what a caregiver needs. For many busy families, dining out is a part of their regular routine. But when a loved one lives with Alzheimer’s, restaurants can be intimidating places. The person living with the disease may face challenges that include:
- Difficulty using utensils
- Accessibility issues for restrooms and with booth or bench-style tables
- Increased impatience waiting for a table and waiting for food to arrive
- Wait staff unaccustomed communicating with someone who has dementia
- Noisy environments and distractions that increase agitation
Before you give up the idea of a night out, here are a few suggestions to consider that can make the experience easier on everyone:
- Think about visiting local restaurants that are more casual in nature. Those used to serving families with small children might be best. They aren’t usually as concerned when guests are a little messier.
- Menu items that allow diners to eat with their fingers can make it easier for your loved one to blend in. Chicken wings, sandwiches, fries and burgers might be good choices.
- Try to go during off times. If you don’t know what those are, call the restaurant. They can usually tell you what times you are less likely to face a long wait.
- Discretely explain your situation to the hostess or wait staff. They might be able to find a quiet corner for your family that is a little less distracting for someone with dementia.
- Consider taking a deck of cards or other busy work for your loved one to do while you wait for your food.
We hope these tips help you find ways to enjoy a night out with the entire family! If you have suggestions that might help other families, please share them in the comments below.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Feb 18, 2014 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
Caring for a spouse is something most partners will face at one time or another. It might be short-term while they rehabilitate from a surgery or longer term if they suffer from a more debilitating disease such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s. For older adults, having a spouse as a caregiver offers the advantages of maintaining privacy, easing embarrassment and receiving care from someone who knows them well. For the caregiving spouse, the role can be personally fulfilling. It can, however, create health risks for the caregiver if the needs and stress become too great. It has been well-documented that caregiving spouses have more health problems than their non-caregiving peers.
Recognizing the Warning Signs for Caregiver Stress
How can a spousal caregiver recognize when they are putting their own health at risk? These are a few of the most common warning signs of caregiver stress:
- Becoming emotional or angry quickly
- Insomnia or problems with sleep
- Feelings of sadness, sorrow or hopelessness
- Not maintaining your own personal physician appointments
- Relying on unhealthy habits such as too much caffeine, smoking or drinking
- Not keeping up with your own exercise program
- Inability to find time to prepare healthy meals and snacks
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Withdrawing from hobbies and groups you’ve always enjoyed
- Feeling angry with or resentful of your spouse
- Losing touch with extended family members or friends
- Feeling frustrated and angry more frequently
- Unintended weight gain or weight loss
If you identify with more than one or two of these warning signs, it might be time to take a short-term break from caregiving or maybe even time to accept that you need help with your responsibilities on a long-term basis. If there aren’t any other family members that can help pitch in, you could consider respite care at an assisted living community. A short-term “respite” stay for your loved one allows you much needed time to rest and recharge your own health. Your loved one can stay at the community for a few days up to one month. If you live in Michigan and have questions about Short-term stays, our FAQ Section may be of help.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 31, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My brother and I will be visiting our elderly mother to tackle the topic of senior living this month. She lives in Holland, Michigan and we both live out of state. When we were visiting with her during the holidays, it was obvious to us that it is time for her to move. She just isn’t safe living alone any longer. We are concerned about how much this will all cost. While she isn’t a low income senior she does live on a fixed income. How do most families pay for assisted living in Michigan? We are trying to get our research done before we head back to our mother’s house this month.
Kristina
Dear Kristina:
It is a great idea to spend some time researching your options before you talk with your mother, and paying for care is usually one of the first questions we hear. Adult children from across the state of Michigan call our communities every day with your same concerns. The good news is that affordable senior housing is possible. Paying for a quality senior care solution for a loved one doesn’t mean an adult child has to mortgage everything they own. In fact, most families use a combination of resources to finance senior housing. They can include:
- Long-term care insurance: Many adult children overlook this when trying to finance in-home care or assisted living. They think the policy only covers a nursing home stay. In fact, many pay for other levels of care. Be sure to check in to this if your mother has a policy.
- Veteran’s Aid & Attendance Benefit: This is additional money available for veterans and/or a surviving spouse who qualify. If your father was a veteran or your mother is one, this is a great avenue to explore.
- MI Choice: Often referred to as the “waiver” program, it is designed to help Michigan residents who meet certain income and asset criteria finance senior care. If an elderly resident in Michigan qualifies, it can help with assisted living expenses.
- Life settlement solutions: These programs allow the elderly to sell an active life insurance policy for a cash amount greater than the surrender value but less than the face value or death benefit.
- Senior living line of credit: Several companies that offer these types of loans to help finance senior living. These short-term loans can be used, for example, while waiting for the sale of a home to be completed or a better time to liquidate an asset.
- Private funds: Most families do have to use at least some private funds to pay for an assisted living community for a senior loved one. It is typically money from savings, investments or the sale of a home
We hope this helps you, Kristina! We encourage you or your brother to call one of our local Michigan communities, including one we have near your mother in Holland, if you have any more questions.
Donna
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