How Do We Start the Process of Downsizing Our Home?

by Shelley | Apr 25, 2022 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna:

My husband and I have decided it’s time to move to a senior living community. We have a large home in northern Michigan that we raised our family in. Now it’s too much to maintain. It’s costing us too much time and money.

Our goal is to start downsizing our house in preparation for a move this summer. Because we’ve lived here for so many years, the task feels overwhelming. We are hoping to find a two-bedroom apartment in a senior living community, so I know we will have to find new homes for a lot of our belongings.

Do you have any tips for helping us through this process? We could really use some advice.

Sincerely,

Kelly in Glen Arbor, MI

Tips to Downsize Before a Move to Senior Living

Dear Kelly:

You aren’t alone! In fact, older adults often say downsizing is one of the leading reasons they delay moving, even when they are more than ready for change. My first piece of advice is to take your time downsizing, whenever possible. Since it sounds like you are already planning ahead, you are off to a good start.

Keep the following suggestions in mind when downsizing:

• Decide what matters most.

Which pieces of furniture and belongings mean the most to you? Are there items you just can’t part with? Create a list of things you treasure most. Keep in mind that a senior living apartment won’t have as much space as a house. Also, create a separate list of important items that will need to be rehomed with a friend or loved one.

• Secure treasured possessions.

Downsizing and moving can be a hectic, messy process. Before things become too rushed, find a place to securely store family heirlooms and other valuable possessions. Smaller items might be best placed in a safe or safe deposit box. Bigger items might need to go to a climate-controlled storage unit or a friend’s house that has extra space. This step can prevent important items from being misplaced or damaged. It also makes the closets and drawers look more spacious to potential buyers.

• Start in least used rooms.

The process of downsizing usually goes more smoothly when you work through the house room-by-room. Start in rooms that you don’t use often, such as your children’s old rooms, the attic, or basement. Sort items into boxes according to their final destination, such as “give to family” or “donate to charity.”

• Explore local charities that accept donations.

Another item to put on your to-do list is to explore local nonprofit agencies that accept donations. You’ll likely have clothing, household items, furniture, and outdoor items that need to be donated. Having a plan for unneeded items before you begin downsizing can make the process easier. Some nonprofits have pickup services for furniture and multiple boxes of smaller items, which can be especially helpful.

Create a Floor Plan

Finally, once you’ve chosen a senior living community to call home, you can plan more specific details. Create a floor plan that shows the dimensions, doorways, and windows for each room in your new apartment.

Measure each piece of furniture or household item you’d like to take with you. Map out your new home’s floor plan on graph paper or use a free online tool like Roomstyler or HomeByMe. This will give you and your husband a good idea about what will or won’t fit in the new space.

I hope this helps, Kelly! As you and your husband explore senior living communities in Michigan, please keep Heritage on your list. With locations throughout Michigan, you’ll likely find a community that best meets your needs and interests.

Kind regards,

Donna

How to Identify and Address a Parent’s Fears about Senior Living

by Shelley | Mar 14, 2022 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna:

My 92-year-old mom has been living alone in the home she’s been in for decades. Until recently, she’s been fine doing so with the help of an in-home caregiver. Lately, however, it seems like her quality of life is declining.

Because I live four hours away, I can’t visit every week, especially during winter. While her caregiver does a great job tending to her physical needs, my mom is isolated and lonely. During my holiday visit, I tried to talk to Mom about moving to a senior living community. It seems like that would give her an opportunity to participate in activities and make new friends.

Before I could begin the discussion, my mom got upset. Though I believe she doesn’t feel safe on her own, she seems afraid of moving to senior living. I dropped the subject and am looking for advice on how to identify what might be holding her back. Can you help?

Kind regards,

Wendy in Holland, MI

Why a Senior Might Resist Moving

Dear Wendy:

What a good observation. Sometimes adult children become frustrated with a parent who won’t consider moving because they don’t understand how tough the decision can be. And an aging parent might not be willing or able to identify just what is making them so resistant. By understanding some of the common fears older adults have about moving, you might be better able to help your mother make an informed decision.

Here are a few reasons seniors cite for not wanting to move to a senior living community:

• Giving up the family home: This generation of older adults often live in their homes for decades, just like your mother. She likely has many happy memories attached to her house. Selling it and moving anywhere may seem like she is leaving a piece of the family behind.
• Fear of change: Many people fear making a change at any stage in life. But for older adults, change often seems even more difficult. As you talk with your mom about moving, try to keep this in mind and move slowly.
• Believing the myths: There are a variety of myths and misperceptions about senior living communities. Many are based on the old, institutional style nursing homes that were so common when this generation of older adults was young. They don’t understand how vibrant today’s senior communities are.
• Perceived losses: Your mom may resist moving because she fears losing aspects of her home life. Loss of freedom, privacy, and independence rank high on the list of concerns for many seniors.
• Running out of money: Many people believe senior living communities are expensive and only for the rich. An older adult might worry that they will run out of money if they move. In reality, senior living communities can be an affordable solution as many of the older adult’s current home expenses are included in the base fee.

I hope this helps as you try to come up with a solution that will improve your mom’s quality of life. Please let us know if you have any additional questions.

Kind regards,

Donna

Consider Heritage Senior Communities

With communities throughout Michigan and one in Indiana, you’ll find a variety of options from which to choose. Whether it’s the resort area of Traverse City or a community in southeast Michigan’s popular Saline, we extend an open invitation to you to tour a Heritage community today!

How Can I Better Organize My Dad’s Medical Information?

by Shelley | Feb 14, 2022 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna:

My dad was diagnosed with a chronic health condition last spring. It’s a fairly complex illness with multiple physicians involved in his care. Because his condition came on suddenly, I never had an opportunity to come up with a system for organizing his medical calendar and onslaught of paperwork.

While I’m more of a technology person, my dad isn’t. He wants a system he can use instead of an online platform or app. Maybe it’s because our stacks of paper are so high, but the task feels daunting. Do you have any suggestions for organizing his health information?

Sincerely,

Dana in Saginaw, MI

Keeping a Senior’s Medical Information Organized

Dear Dana:

I understand your predicament! Keeping up with all the information health care providers pass along can be challenging. And the calendar can be equally difficult when a loved one has a variety of physicians on his care team. The key is to create a system that is easy to maintain and update. That will make you more likely to use it. These tips will help you get started.

Begin by sorting all your dad’s medical information by topic or category. Then place it all in a binder you take with you to appointments. Getting organized will make your role of family caregiver easier. A few suggested categories to include in your file are:

• Calendar: It’s convenient to store appointments in an app. It lets you set reminders and quickly view your dad’s schedule when you need to make physician appointments. But having a physical calendar as a back-up is important, too. It’s also easier to plan your entire week when you can quickly glance at all your dad’s appointments.
• Medical history: This broad category is a good place to include your dad’s visit notes from medical appointments, hospital discharge orders, and any health summaries a physician may have provided. It might also help to keep a chronological list of milestones in his diagnosis and treatment.
• Test results: While health care systems use electronic medical records, not all systems interact with one another. For older adults like your dad, who see multiple physicians, keeping hard copies of test results is a good idea. That makes it easier to share among his doctors during visits.
• Family medical history: When seeing a new patient for the first time, providers ask them to review their family medical history. This information helps physicians assess a patient’s predisposition for hereditary conditions. Having this information typed and saved on your computer makes it easy to update and print when you need to make changes.
• Medication list: At every medical appointment, you’ll likely be asked if your dad has started or changed any medications since his last visit. Create a list that includes medication name, dosage information, and the prescribing physician. Remember to include over-the-counter medications, too, as they can impact the effectiveness of prescriptions.
• Physician contact information: Create a list with your dad’s current and past physicians. Include contact information, such as office addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, and fax numbers.

Make sure to create backup copies to store in a safe, secure location.

Finally, if you would like to utilize an app to make your role of caregiver easier, consider Healthspek. Apps like these are often a good solution for families, especially where multiple siblings are involved in care.

Good luck getting organized, Dana! I’m sure you’ll be happy you made time to do this.

Kind regards,

Donna

Get to Know Heritage Senior Communities

Planning for the future is important when you are a caregiver for a family member. An essential part of that plan is exploring local senior care resources, including senior living communities. For seniors in Michigan and Indiana, we encourage you to make Heritage a part of your search. Call a community near you to learn more!

Care for the Caregiver: Convincing a Spouse It’s Time for a Change

by Shelley | Jan 11, 2022 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna:

My wife and I have been married for over 50 years. Several years ago, I suffered a stroke. While I have recovered a lot of my abilities, I am not able to do nearly as much as I used to. Not only does my wife have to help me with personal care, but she’s now responsible for our home’s indoor and outdoor upkeep.

I’ve tried to convince my wife to slow down and ask for help. She’s not willing to do that nor is she interested in hiring a caregiver through a home care agency. I really think it’s time for us to move to a senior living community. It seems like a solution that would free her from some of her burdens and allow her to tend to her own well-being.

Any suggestions on what I can do? I’m afraid something will happen to my wife if she keeps up this pace.

Thanks in advance,

Steve in Saginaw, MI

Caring for the Reluctant Caregiver

Dear Steve:

Sounds as if you and your wife have been through some tough times together in recent years! It’s not unusual for a spouse to try to manage their partner’s care all alone. Many spouses are reluctant to ask for or accept help, often thinking no one will be as good a caregiver as they are. But you are right to be concerned about your wife’s health and well-being.

Family caregivers experience more incidences of health problems than their non-caregiving peers. Medical issues can range from back injuries and headaches to digestive disturbances and sleep problems. Since it sounds like you are trying to convince your wife that it’s time for a move, sharing the benefits of senior living communities with her may help change her mind.

I always remind family members that this is a process. It usually takes a series of conversations and community visits to help a reluctant spouse or parent accept the time for change has arrived. Remind your loved one of the advantages of a move. In a senior living community, you will be able to:

• Enjoy your time together: With fewer chores and less household upkeep, you and your wife will have more time to enjoy each other’s
• You can reconnect with favorite pastimes or tackle new ones together when you have more free time.
• Protect your future: Find a kind way to remind your wife that by taking better care of herself, she protects both of your futures. Making time for routine health screenings is essential, as is staying physically fit. Opportunities to exercise, such as yoga, stretching classes, and walking groups, occur daily at senior living communities.
• Eat well–balanced meals: A healthy diet is an essential component to aging well. That’s true no matter what your circumstances. At senior living communities, residents enjoy nutritious meals every day. You’ll usually have a variety of menus to choose from. Instead of having to worry about preparing food, you and your wife can relax and chat at mealtimes.
• Gain peace of mind: Some residents say a move to a senior living community is a gift they give their children. That’s true for spouses, as well. You will both gain peace of mind knowing your needs will be met and that you have quick access to help in the event of an emergency.

While these are just a few benefits you’ll gain by moving, they may be enough to change your wife’s perspective.

Please drop me a note if you have any additional questions I can answer!

Kind regards,

Donna

Heritage Senior Communities

A family-owned, fourth generation provider of senior living, Heritage Senior Communities has locations throughout Michigan and one in Indiana. With a well-earned reputation for quality care, Heritage offers independent living, assisted living, and memory care.