by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Apr 22, 2016 | Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
We recently moved my mother-in-law to an assisted living community in Holland, Michigan. The process of downsizing for the move required her to part with many of her belongings, and it was still a tight fit to get her settled and find a place for everything.
With Mother’s Day approaching, we aren’t sure what to get her for a gift or how to plan a celebration. She doesn’t have very much space for more “stuff” and the community where she lives now provides almost everything she could want or need.
Do you have any suggestions for gifts? Or for planning our celebration? We feel like it is important to make the day extra special for her this year.
Kind Regards,
Tami
Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for Seniors in an Assisted Living Community
Dear Tami:
Your question is one we often receive this time of year, especially from families who are new to assisted living.
Our first suggestion is to talk to the team at your mother-in-laws assisted living community. They can offer suggestions for reserving more space at the community if you need it, as well as for helping to make arrangements for food.
As far as gift ideas, here is a list of ideas we’ve noticed have been popular with our residents in past years:
- A family calendar that has family members’ birthdays and anniversaries marked, along with family photos on each month’s page
- A handmade coupon book with vouchers to trade in for outings to the mall or a local restaurant, help with their computer, a trip to a local spa or another favorite treat
- A digital scrapbook or family video
- A photo bouquet of family pictures
- Gift certificate for the in-house beauty/barber shop
- A custom gift basket with items she can use to pamper herself, such as essential oils, lotions and other beauty products
- A gift card to a clothing store
- A pedometer or fitness tracker
- A fruit-of-the-month club membership
- Gift cards to a restaurant and/or movie theater
- Gift card to their favorite craft or hobby store
- A tablet device they can use for connecting on social media and email
- A bird feeder to place outside their window along with seed
- A basket of DVDs, games and puzzles to enjoy when the grandkids visit
Finally, don’t overlook the more traditional Mother’s Day gifts. A potted plant, a bouquet of flowers, or a box of chocolates might be the perfect treat!
Best of luck to you and your family, Tami! I’m sure your mother-in-law will appreciate your efforts.
Sincerely,
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Apr 10, 2016 | Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My husband and I would like to take a vacation this spring so we can take our twin girls to Disney World. It is our last chance to do so before they start Kindergarten next fall. The catch is I am the primary caregiver for my mother. She has lived with us since she had a stroke last summer. While she tries to be independent and active, she has some disabilities that prevent her from staying alone.
I’ve talked with home care agencies about providing care for her while we are gone. But I would really feel more comfortable if she had someone nearby around the clock.
Can you explain how respite care works in an assisted living community in Michigan?
Kind Regards,
Ellie in Grand Haven, Michigan
Dear Ellie:
Your situation is a perfect example of how families can benefit from respite care in an assisted living community. Respite allows an older loved one to enjoy a short-term stay at a senior living community while the family caregiver goes on vacation or takes a break from the around the clock demands of caregiving.
What Types of Services are Included in Respite Care?
From medication management to support with personal care needs, a respite stay provides seniors with the support they need when you can’t be there to help.
Most senior living communities, like the Heritage Senior Communities across Michigan, have furnished suites for respite guests to enjoy. Your mom will have access to the same services and amenities that a permanent resident of the community does.
In addition to support with personal care, a respite stay in most senior living communities includes:
- Three well-balanced meals each day served restaurant style in the dining room.
- A wide variety of life enrichment and wellness activities to participate in with other residents.
- Supportive services such as housekeeping, laundry and transportation.
We always encourage families who are considering a short-term respite stay for a senior loved one to visit us in person. One of our team members will be happy to take you and your mom on a tour. You can even stay for lunch!
Being familiar with the staff and the community will help to decrease any anxiety you and your mom have about your leaving town for vacation.
I hope this information is helpful, Ellie. And I hope you enjoy Disney World with your family!
Donna
Photo Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 10, 2016 | Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I will be visiting my mom who lives in Muskegon, Michigan next month. One of the items on our “To Do List” is to organize her health information. When I went with her to the doctor during my trip home at Christmas, I realized how important it is to get all of this information organized and in one place. She currently keeps much of it in her purse, which seems like it would put her at risk for identity theft.
Do you have any suggestions that might help me with this process? It feels a little overwhelming.
Kind Regards,
Ryan
Dear Ryan:
Sounds like a good goal to set for you and your mom! And you are right to worry that keeping so much personal information in her purse puts your mom at risk for fraud. This is especially true during tax season. Experts believe tax refund fraud will top $21 billion this year.
Here are a few suggestions we have shared before with families who ask for advice on organizing a senior loved one’s medical information:
1. Gather the information: Start by pulling together all of your mother’s important medical papers. Once you have everything in one place, begin to separate the documents by topic. A few category examples might include:
- Copies of health care notes and discharge reports from any hospital stays
- Physician notes from office visits
- Results from any testing and lab work
- Copies of all of the instructions that come with each prescription
- Medicare/Medicaid identification cards and numbers
- Legal documents such as a living will, durable power of attorney, and advance directive
- Copies of all bills and co-pay receipts
2. Develop a medical history: If you haven’t done so already, you will need to create a comprehensive medical history. This should document all health conditions and surgeries along with the date of each occurrence. Be sure to list any allergies and important family medical history.
3. Create a medication list: Keeping an updated medication list is critically important. It should include both prescription medications and over-the-counter medicines. Note the dosage and times each should be taken.
4. Putting it All Together: You will want to create a system that is easy to update. One that often works well for older adults and their family caregivers is to purchase a large, 3-ring binder with dividers and pockets. You can create a section for each category of information. Other families take it a step further and also use a caregiving app. This helps make it easier for you and other family members to access, share and update your mother’s medical information from wherever you are.
5. Safe Storage: As you mentioned in your note to us, seniors are common targets for identity theft. You can help your mom decrease her risk for becoming a victim by safely storing her medical file. Securing the binder in a cabinet or file drawer with a lock is the best way to protect her personal information. Encourage family members who have a copy to do the same.
I have one last suggestion for you, Ryan. When your mom is checking out from each physician visit, remind her to ask for a copy of visit notes. Some providers can give it to her then and others will need to mail it to you after the physician updates her file. Encourage her to add them to her health file as soon as she returns home and to update any changes to her medications the physician made during her visit.
I hope this information is helpful, Ryan. If you have any questions about senior care during your visit with your mom next month, please feel free to call the Heritage Senior Community nearest you for answers!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Mar 8, 2016 | Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I am the oldest of three kids and the one who lives closest to our parents. My dad had a stroke last month and is no longer able to drive. My mom was always a nervous driver in her younger days and gave it up entirely about 15 years ago.
While I’ve been helping them out here and there over the last few years, it has become a full-time challenge since my Dad had his stroke. I work part-time at the local bank and have three busy teenagers. I’m really feeling stressed out and worn out, and more than a little resentful that my siblings don’t really help.
Do you have any advice for new caregivers? I could sure use some.
Katrina in Ludington, Michigan
Dear Katrina:
We hear similar stories from adult daughters almost every day in the Heritage Senior Communities across Michigan. You are definitely not alone. The Family Caregiver Alliance estimates that 65.7 million people in the U.S. provide care to someone they love. AARP reports show that unpaid caregiving services add up to $450 billion a year.
Family caregiver is a tough responsibility to take on. But we do have a few tips we think will help.
5 Tips to Help New Caregivers in Michigan
- Take Care of You: For new caregivers, this probably doesn’t sound like very realistic advice. But you can’t care for your parents if you end up with a serious illness yourself. And the statistics on caregiver health can be sobering. Gallup surveys found that a typical healthy adult has an average physical health score of 83. The average caregiver, however, only scores a 77.4.
- Ask for Help. Accepting the idea that you will need help on a routine basis and knowing where it will come from is important. Maybe your siblings can each pitch in one weekend a month? Or if they live too far away to do that, ask them to cover the expense of an in-home care aide a few hours each week. Also know that many senior living communities in Michigan offer short-term respite stays to give caregivers a break. Your local church might have a “friendly visitor” program where volunteers from the church provide support to homebound seniors.
- Organize their Medical File: Keeping all of a senior loved one’s appointments, medical paperwork, and prescriptions organized can feel overwhelming. Taking time to create a home medical file will help you feel like you are on track and prepared. There are also apps you can download to your smart phone or tablet device that allow you to safely store this information for easy access.
- Manage your Expectations: Another caregiver survival tip is to set realistic expectations for yourself. It might mean accepting that your own home won’t always be immaculate or that dinner one or two nights a week might be a healthy choice from the take-out menu of a local restaurant. Be kind to yourself and don’t feel badly about relaxing your expectations while you are caregiving.
- Create an Emergency Plan: Our final tip is a critical one. Create an back-up plan for your aging parents’ care in the event of an emergency. If something happens to you, what will happen to them? The plan might be for them to receive services from an in-home care agency or temporarily move to an assisted living community. Just be sure you have a plan is in place before a crisis occurs.
I hope these tips help, Katrina! We invite you to call the Heritage Senior Community nearest to your parents if you need more information or have questions about respite care.
Kind Regards,
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Oct 6, 2015 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My mother is 81 years old and lives alone in her home near Holland, Michigan. Over the past year she has been in and out of the emergency room more times than I can even count! The issues have ranged from being dehydrated to several falls to a bad case of the flu.
We are struggling to convince our mother to take better care of herself. My sister or I deliver homemade, frozen meals and a big salad to her once a week. She would only need to heat up the dinners in the microwave and put the salad in a bowl at meal time. But she just won’t do it. Most days she lives on peanut butter toast, cereal and lunchmeat.
We really think the time has come to insist that she move to a safer type of senior housing. I think if she just ate better many of her problems would resolve on their own. I know she doesn’t want to keep going to the emergency room. All the trips back and forth have really worn her out.
Can an assisted living community help us get her back on a healthier track? I really don’t think she needs to be in a nursing home.
Anna in Kalamazoo
Dear Anna:
It sounds like your family has had a very difficult year! The situation is unfortunately all too common. For many seniors, maintaining good nutrition is a real challenge. In some cases it is because the older adult doesn’t have transportation to and from the grocery store or they have a health condition that makes preparing meals difficult.
Poor nutrition in seniors can create many of the circumstances you described. It can lead to a weakened immune system and put her at higher risk for the flu bug that landed her in the house, as well as muscle weakness that may have contributed to her falls.
The good news is an assisted living community may be an ideal solution! Your mother would receive three well-balanced meals each day and the opportunity to enjoy them restaurant-style in the community’s dining room. The social aspect of spending meal times with her peers might encourage her to eat more, too. She would also have the opportunity to participate in fitness and life enrichment programs that may help her improve her overall wellness.
It might be a good idea for you to visit a few assisted living communities in the Grand Haven and Holland areas on your own first. Once you have an idea about what each of them offers and which ones might be a good fit for your mother, you could return again with her.
Best of luck to you and your family, Anna! I hope your mother can get settled in an assisted living community soon and begin to get her health back on track.
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Sep 30, 2015 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My father lives in southwest Michigan. He’s been on his own for a few years now since my mother passed away. Dad had been the primary caregiver for my Mom for about six years before her death. Since he has been on his own, he doesn’t seem to be getting out much. When I try to talk with him about it, he gets a little annoyed with me. The best I’ve been able to determine is that he doesn’t like to drive any longer and that he doesn’t feel like he has much purpose in life. I know he misses my Mom, and caring for her kept him very busy.
When I talked with our family doctor about it (she is also my Dad’s doctor) she suggested he might be happier in an independent living community where there is a lot to do each day. Somehow he has the idea that these communities are mostly for widows after their husbands pass away. I guess I’m a little confused about independent living, too. How would my Dad really benefit from this type of move?
Kathy in Grand Haven, Michigan
Dear Kathy:
It’s unfortunately all too common to see the surviving spouse —especially if they have been a long-term caregiver — struggle to build a new life. As you probably know from watching your parents, caregiving is a full-time plus job. To go from being so busy to having whole days to fill can be a big adjustment.
Your father’s feelings about women and senior living are not without merit. Experts say the ratio of women to men in an assisted living community can be as high as 7:1. The simple fact is most women live longer than men. On average, women outlive men by 5 – 7 years. It is important to note, however, that most senior living communities realize men feel this way and are working hard to overcome that stereotype. They are incorporating more masculine décor, offering programs specifically directed at male residents and more.
Your family physician’s suggestion sounds like a good one to consider! If your father chose to move to an independent living community he would benefit from:
- A full calendar of life enrichment activities to participate in each day
- Neighbors who have experienced similar struggles and losses and understand what your father is going through
- Transportation services to local shopping centers, community events, physician appointments and more
- A hassle-free lifestyle that includes all maintenance and housekeeping
- The option to purchase meal service at dinner time if he no longer wishes to cook for himself
I hope this helps give you a better understanding of independent living in Michigan, Kathy! I wish you and your Dad the best of luck as you make this decision.
Donna
