by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I will be heading home at Christmas to visit my 91-year old mother who lives in northern Michigan. I live in California so I usually only make it home once or twice a year to see her in person.
Early this summer when my kids and I went to visit, I thought she seemed a little frailer. We use Skype to chat on a regular basis and it looks to me like she’s lost weight. She keeps telling me that she is doing fine on her own and I know she has good neighbors and friends who look after her.
My mom has always seemed younger than her age because she has taken good care of herself. Because of that, I’m trying to figure out what are normal signs of aging and what aren’t. Can you give me a few suggestions on what to look for on my holiday visit home this month?
Darlene
Dear Darlene:
We receive a lot of emails and phone calls from adult children asking this same question every holiday season! Parents often know how busy their adult children are with their own families and careers. They don’t want to “worry” them with what they perceive to be small problems.
What you want to look for on your visit are signs of change. To assess how an aging parent really is when you visit this holiday season, you should specifically watch for and pay attention to:
- Unintentional weight gain or weight loss
- Change in how well they are managing personal care
- Bumps and bruises on their arms, legs and head that could indicate falls
- Trouble carrying on a conversation
- Forgetfulness or confusion
- Change in their disposition or personality
- Difference in how much or how little they sleep
- Condition of their house such as odors or trash piled up
- Problems managing finances such as unpaid bills on the counter or calls from creditors
These are just a few of the signs that may indicate your mother needs a little extra help. It might be a good idea to ask her if she has had a wellness visit with her primary care physician this year. If she hasn’t, encourage her to schedule one for the time when you are home so you can go with her.
It might also benefit you to learn more about senior care and the options available for your mother. Our Resource Center and our Blog both contain helpful information for adult children of an aging loved one.
Please let me know if you have any more questions, Darlene. I hope you and your family enjoy a happy holiday together in northern Michigan!
Donna
Our newest independent living community located in Holland, Michigan is open! The Village at Appledorn West welcomed our first new residents in October, and 70% of the apartments are already spoken for. Please stop by or call us at (616) 846-4700 to arrange for a tour.
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Nov 28, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
For the first time this year I will be helping my father with his Medicare Open Enrollment. My mother passed away unexpectedly last year and it is something she always did for both of them. I know it is an important process, but I’m not quite sure how to help him. I’m not yet eligible for Medicare myself so I don’t really understand what is covered, what isn’t and why he might need to make changes.
Can you help?
Doris in Holland, Michigan
Dear Doris:
First off, please accept my condolences. I’m sure this has been a tough year for you and your Dad.
It isn’t uncommon for adult children to find themselves struggling to help a parent with Medicare Open Enrollment. Like you, many have not yet reached the age when they are eligible for the benefit. So the alphabet soup of Medicare A, B, C and D can be very confusing. Here is just a quick overview of what each part of Medicare covers:
- Medicare Part A:
- Inpatient hospital care
- Short-term skilled nursing and rehab (if qualifying conditions are met)
- Hospice care
- Home health care (if qualifying conditions are met)
- Medicare Part B:
- Physicians & other health care providers
- Outpatient rehab (up to a pre-determined limit)
- Some medical equipment
- Ambulance services for an emergency
- Some preventative services and screenings
- Medicare Part D:
Equally important is understanding what is NOT covered by your father’s Medicare benefit:
- Long-term care in a nursing home or assisted living
- Routine dental care and eye care
- Hearing aids & exams
- Routine foot care
- In-home care
Medicare has a brochure you may find helpful in getting started. Yearly Medicare Plan Review is a free download that has important dates and resources to assist you with Medicare Open Enrollment.
I hope this information makes the process go more smoothly for you and your father, Doris!
Sandy
Heritage Senior Communities is pleased to announce that our newest community is opening soon in Holland, Michigan. The Village at Appledorn West will offer adults over the age of 55 one- and two-bedroom independent living apartments. The campus will also be expanded to include assisted living in the spring of 2015.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Nov 2, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My father’s hearing loss has gotten very bad over the past few years. While I want him to be able to stay independent for as long as possible, I worry a lot about his ability to be safe. I’m especially concerned because, despite our best efforts to convince him to stop, he still smokes. I was at his house one day when the smoke alarm in the dining room went off while he was cooking and he didn’t even hear it! I’m not sure what to do with him.
Alysha in Holland, Michigan
Dear Alysha:
You are right. Smoking and hearing loss are a tough combination. I’m sure it is does create a lot of anxiety for you.
There are definitely smoke detectors and alert systems that can help with your father’s situation. They are specifically designed for those living with a hearing impairment. I’m sure they can help to ease some of the fears you have about your father’s safety. Most of the major smoke detector manufacturers make them. What is different about these products is that they flash a strobe light and/or send out a strong vibration to alert those living with a hearing impairment of the danger. Many also have an alert that will actually shake the bed in case the home’s resident is sleeping when the smoke detector goes off.
Thank you for sharing your concern with us, Alysha. It provides us with an opportunity to help raise awareness about National Fire Prevention Week which begins on October 4th. Seniors are twice as likely to be harmed or fatally injured in a fire. After the age of 85, that risk goes up to four times more likely.
There are a variety of ways you and other adult children in Michigan can to decrease a senior loved one’s fire safety risk. The National Fire Prevention Association (NFPA) has a library of resources that can help. They range from kitchen safety tips to escape planning.
I hope this information is helpful, Alysha!
Donna
“Dear Donna” is an aging expert from Heritage Senior Communities, a family-owned company serving seniors across the state of Michigan for 67 years. Older adults in the greater Holland area will soon have the opportunity to tour our nearly completed Village at Appledorn West community. It will be home to 88 independent senior living apartments. Construction is projected to be completed this month. An assisted living community will also open on the same campus in the late spring of 2015.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Aug 4, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My 88-year old mother lives near Grand Haven, Michigan. I live with my family in Saline, Michigan. In the past six months she has ended up in the emergency department of the hospital seven different times for problems ranging from falls to mismanaging her medication. It is difficult to get to her quickly when I live so far away. These frequent emergencies are causing real problems for me at work. My boss was sympathetic at first, but it has happened too many times. I’m concerned I could lose my job over this. With two kids in college, we can’t afford for me to be without it.
One of my colleagues suggested I look at nursing homes for my mother, but our HR Director told me she recently moved her father to assisted living after he was falling repeatedly at home. She said they have been able to help him significantly reduce the number of falls he has and his overall health has improved.
My question for you is can an assisted living community really help reduce trips to the ER?
Jamie in Saline, Michigan
Dear Jamie:
Your situation is one that is common among for the sandwich generation. It is a tough spot to be in! To answer your question, “yes” assisted living can help support the activities of daily living and provide a safer, more secure environment.
In your mother’s case, the two things you mentioned were a history of falls and problems managing her medications. Those are two areas an assisted living partner can help you better manage.
First, let’s talk about medication management. It is one of the number one reasons adult children explore senior living for an aging parent. At home, it is easy to miss a dosage or to accidentally take double doses of a medication. Assisted living communities have medication management programs in place. They will ensure your mother takes the right dose at the right time.
Next we move on to the issue of falls. Seniors can experience a fall for many reasons or for a combination of reasons. Mismanaging and forgetting to take important medications like blood pressure is one. Poor nutrition that leads to decreased muscle mass and weakness is another. The physical layout of older homes isn’t always a good fit for seniors. Poorly lit hallways, too many stairs, uneven floors, and bathrooms without grab bars are just a few of the problems that can contribute to falls. Residents in an assisted living community benefit from having well-balanced meals, in-house, age-appropriate exercise programs, and an environment designed to support safety.
I hope this information helps, Jamie! Please call the Heritage Senior Community closest to you or your mother if you have any more questions!
Donna
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jul 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My mom just turned 80 years old. While she has always been active and independent, she was recently diagnosed with Macular Degeneration. Her physician explained to us that she will slowly lose her vision. We have talked about it and she knows she needs to change her living environment now. Her house is old and has a lot of stairs including to the basement where her laundry area is. She lives in Gaylord, Michigan and I am a few hours away in Holland. We’d like to move her to an assisted living community near me this summer so she has time to learn her way around while she still has some of her vision remaining. I’m wondering if assisted living communities can accommodate visually impaired residents?
Alan in Holland, Michigan
Dear Alan:
I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis. I’m sure that has been difficult for her and for you. It is wise to be proactive in moving her closer to you and to a more supportive environment while she is still somewhat independent. The answer to your question is “Yes” we can accommodate visually impaired residents in our assisted living communities. A number of the older adults that call our communities home have vision problems ranging from Glaucoma to Macular Degeneration. Assisted living supports their independence in a variety of ways.
First, our safety features make it easier for residents with vision problems to find their way around. From handrails in the hallways to grab bars in the bathrooms the environment is designed to support older adults. Our caregivers can also provide assistance as necessary with bathing, grooming, dressing and escorting your mom around the community. Finally, the life enrichment activities each of our communities’ offer are designed to allow people with impairments of all types to participate. All of this support can help residents with Macular Degeneration enjoy a higher quality of life.
I hope this answers your question, Alan! Please let us know if you need help finding assisted living in the Holland, Michigan area. We have a variety of senior living options in western Michigan that might be a perfect fit for her needs including some new ones that are opening this year!
Donna
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jun 18, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My 91-year old father lives just outside Holland, Michigan. He lives alone in a home he and my mother bought when they were first married. Since her death three years ago, his health has really declined. In the last six months, he has fallen four times. My family and I leave in Kalamazoo so it isn’t easy to get to him quickly. He has had to use his medical alert pendant to call for help each time. His house is old and not very senior-friendly. Despite the home improvements we’ve tried to make to keep him safe, he just isn’t. I’ve tried to convince him that moving to assisted living would help him and me, but he is very stubborn. He thinks he will have to give up his privacy and that he will be forced to play games. I am worn out and stressed out from trying to juggle my family’s needs and his while also working full-time. Do you have any advice?
Alice in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Dear Alice:
We hear stories similar to yours almost every day. Giving up the home he has lived in for decades is surely hard for your father. Doubly so given the memories he no doubt has of your mother there. It obviously doesn’t help that he has some big misconceptions about what a Michigan assisted living community is really like for residents.
One suggestion might be to try to get him to consider a trial assisted living stay, officially known as respite. Some families have found that telling an aging loved one they will be out-of-state for an event makes it easier to convince their senior loved one to agree to a respite stay. It can be a non-threatening way to try assisted living. Your father may be willing to try this if you tell him, for example, you will take him on Thursday and pick him up the following Wednesday. By giving him a definite date to return home, he may not feel abandoned or at risk of being “forced” to stay.
Once he agrees you can work closely with the staff at the assisted living community to make sure the experience is a positive one. You can plan his trial stay around events or activities at the assisted living community that may be of special interest to him, match him up with other residents that he has things in common with, and help him review dining options and menu items ahead of time. While respite suites are usually furnished, you might want to bring just a few family photos and treasures to make him feel more at home. Not too many though. You don’t want him to be suspicious! Once he sees how much easier life can be in an assisted living community and that he won’t be forced to join in any activities he isn’t interested in, you might find him to be more open to the idea of moving. It might take him a few respite stays to be convinced, but it will be worth it knowing he is safe.
I hope this idea works for you, Alice! Please contact us if you need help setting up a respite stay for your Dad.
Donna
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