by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Aug 30, 2015 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My mother will soon celebrate her 88th birthday. Believe it or not, she still lives alone in her home near Grand Haven, Michigan. We are a few hours away but visit her often.
So far we have been able to help her maintain her independence with the use of a private home care aide. I think it might be time for something different now though.
While I think the aide can help her with bathing and dressing just fine, two things I’m most concerned about are that she is alone all night long and also that she is stuck in her house the majority of the time. She has difficulty navigating the steps on the front of her house and getting in and out of the car safely. Between her aide and myself, we do all of her errands and shopping. I think she feels very isolated, but we are afraid she will fall and hurt herself if we try to take her along with us.
I’m a little confused about what an assisted living community can offer that is different from the home care she already uses. Can you help clarify things for me?
Alison in Ann Arbor
Dear Alison:
Thank you for your note! We talk with families visiting our senior living communities across Michigan about this very issue every day. For many adult children, enlisting the services of a home care aide can be a good short-term solution. But when a parent needs a little more care or around the clock supervision, the cost of in-home care can quickly add up.
Here are a few of the benefits an assisted living community can offer residents:
- The privacy of their own apartment or suite in an environment designed to support elder safety. Grab bars, handrails, step-free showers and emergency call systems are standard.
- On-site life enrichment programs to help promote socialization and companionship.
- Caregivers on-site and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- Three well-balanced meals and snacks each day.
- Support with personal care needs such as bathing, dressing, and grooming.
- Medication management assistance.
- Housekeeping, laundry and maintenance services to allow for worry-free apartment living.
- Transportation services provided in an accessible bus.
As you can see, assisted living is a balance of independence and support.
We invite you to call us or stop in for a tour so you can learn more about assisted living as a solution for your mother!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jun 4, 2015 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My 82-year old father has arthritis. He’s lived with it for many years. I know he is really suffering from it but I can’t convince him to see the doctor. He says there is no cure for it so it is a waste of time and money. In all honesty, I’m not sure how many years it has been since my dad has even been to the doctor. He is very stubborn!
I saw a commercial on television about arthritis medication so I think there might be options for him. Any suggestions to offer?
Tami in Hudsonville, Michigan
Dear Tami:
It isn’t uncommon for older adults to be resistant to seeing a physician for a variety of reasons. But in this case, seeing a physician experienced at working with older adults who live with arthritis is the best way to relieve the pain it sounds like your father is feeling. While your dad is correct in saying there is no cure for arthritis, there are ways to manage it.
A physician can recommend treatment options ranging from pain relievers and steroids to physical therapy or aquatic therapy. Both of these therapies help strengthen and support the muscles around the damaged joint while improving range of motion. His doctor can also share information on the surprising role diet plays in preventing –or creating—the inflammation that makes the pain of arthritis worse.
The experts from the Arthritis Foundation offer the following advice on when someone with the disease should consult with a physician:
- When pain, swelling, or stiffness is present in one or more joints
- If joints appear reddened or warm to the touch
- When moving a joint is difficult or when symptoms inhibit everyday activities
In addition, the experts recommend making an appointment with a doctor if symptoms persist for more than three days or if your father has more than one battle with his arthritis in a month. A gerontologist or a rheumatologist might be the best choice.
We hope sharing this information with your father may help change his mind and convince him to seek medical attention!
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities newest community assisted living community in Holland, Michigan will open its doors to new residents in June.
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | May 28, 2015 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My brother and I both went home to visit our parents in western Michigan over the Easter holiday. Our Dad contracted pneumonia this past winter and is slowly been getting back on his feet. What my brother and I weren’t aware of until this visit is how bad my mother’s driving has become. Before this illness sidelined him, Dad was the primary driver.
We aren’t sure if there are ways to adapt their car to make driving easier for my Mom or if it is just time for her to hang up the keys. She has arthritis in her spine and I think it is a big part of her struggle. She just isn’t very flexible. With my brother and I both living far away, transportation would be a real challenge if neither of them can drive any longer.
Are you aware of any resources that can help us?
Anne
Dear Anne:
Concerns about an aging parent’s safety behind the wheel are at the top of the list of questions we hear from adult children. Many feel like you do. They know their aging parent needs to be able to get to physician appointments, the grocery store and more, but aren’t quite sure how to assess if their older loved one is safe.
We know it can be difficult to objectively evaluate if a senior driver might be fine driving during non-rush hour times, if driving aids can be utilized to help them adapt their car to accommodate the physical changes created by aging or if it is time to stop driving altogether.
Here are links to a few online resources you and your brother may find to be of help in evaluating your mother’s fitness for driving:
- Senior Driving: This site was created by AAA. It is rich with information that ranges from cars that are more senior-friendly to the AAA Interactive Driving Evaluation Online Test. The latter is a good tool to encourage both of your parents to take.
- Michigan’s Guide for Aging Drivers and Their Families: This free publication was developed by the Michigan Department of Transportation. In it you will find resources covering a variety of topics including a self-assessment tool, tips for having a conversation with a senior about giving up driving, and medical problems that put drivers at higher risk for an accident.
- Tools to Aid Older Drivers in Michigan: If you think a driving aid might make your mother safer behind the wheel, this article will be of interest. It shares suggestions such as a swivel seat cushion, mirror adapters, foot pedal extenders and more.
- Exercises to Help Older Michigan Drivers: This article shares exercises developed by MIT Age Lab and The Hartford Center for Mature Market Excellence. They are designed to help improve older drivers’ range of motion and flexibility. Both abilities are necessary for safe driving.
I hope this information is helpful to your family, Anne!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Feb 26, 2015 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My great aunt lives in a rural community near Grand Haven, Michigan. We made it up to see her during the holidays and I’ve been worried about her since we left. Physically she seems to be doing well. She is managing her medications on her own, is able to safely drive herself to the grocery store and necessary appointments, and prepare her own meals. But she doesn’t really do much else.
It feels like she is very isolated and lonely. While she was happy having our family around for a few days, my fear is that she is depressed. I think she needs to be around people more. She was always a very social person. My husband and I aren’t sure what to do to help her.
Calista in Ann Arbor, Michigan
Dear Calista:
You are probably right to be concerned about your great aunt’s well-being. In recent years, isolation among older adults has been proven to contribute to a variety of issues ranging from earlier mortality to malnutrition. Being isolated and lonely can also put a senior loved one at greater risk for becoming the victim of a fraud, especially door-to-door home repair scams.
If you are confident your great aunt is safe driving, you might want to begin by encouraging her to become involved in volunteer work. There is an organization called Volunteer Match you might want to explore on her behalf. The site allows you to search for volunteer opportunities by zip code and interest. If your aunt is a nature lover or children, for example, you can look for organizations near her who are seeking volunteers.
Senior centers are another great avenue for older adults to connect with their peers. You can find the one closest to her by visiting Michigan Association of Senior Centers. Members have the opportunity to participate in a wide range of events each month including Valentine’s Day luncheons, tax preparation workshops, and Chair Yoga. Most are free or relatively inexpensive.
A move to an independent living community might be another avenue to explore. Residents have their own private apartment or cottage, but still have friendship and support nearby. It gives older adults the opportunity to enjoy life enrichment activities, wellness programs, and transportation services. All without the worries about home repairs or maintenance tasks!
I hope this gives you a few ideas for helping your great aunt become more active and engaged with life.
Best regards,
Donna
Our newest community, The Village of Appledorn West in Holland, is open! If you or an older loved one would like to tour our independent living apartments or learn more about our assisted living community that will open in the spring of 2015, please stop by or call us at (616) 846-4700
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I will be heading home at Christmas to visit my 91-year old mother who lives in northern Michigan. I live in California so I usually only make it home once or twice a year to see her in person.
Early this summer when my kids and I went to visit, I thought she seemed a little frailer. We use Skype to chat on a regular basis and it looks to me like she’s lost weight. She keeps telling me that she is doing fine on her own and I know she has good neighbors and friends who look after her.
My mom has always seemed younger than her age because she has taken good care of herself. Because of that, I’m trying to figure out what are normal signs of aging and what aren’t. Can you give me a few suggestions on what to look for on my holiday visit home this month?
Darlene
Dear Darlene:
We receive a lot of emails and phone calls from adult children asking this same question every holiday season! Parents often know how busy their adult children are with their own families and careers. They don’t want to “worry” them with what they perceive to be small problems.
What you want to look for on your visit are signs of change. To assess how an aging parent really is when you visit this holiday season, you should specifically watch for and pay attention to:
- Unintentional weight gain or weight loss
- Change in how well they are managing personal care
- Bumps and bruises on their arms, legs and head that could indicate falls
- Trouble carrying on a conversation
- Forgetfulness or confusion
- Change in their disposition or personality
- Difference in how much or how little they sleep
- Condition of their house such as odors or trash piled up
- Problems managing finances such as unpaid bills on the counter or calls from creditors
These are just a few of the signs that may indicate your mother needs a little extra help. It might be a good idea to ask her if she has had a wellness visit with her primary care physician this year. If she hasn’t, encourage her to schedule one for the time when you are home so you can go with her.
It might also benefit you to learn more about senior care and the options available for your mother. Our Resource Center and our Blog both contain helpful information for adult children of an aging loved one.
Please let me know if you have any more questions, Darlene. I hope you and your family enjoy a happy holiday together in northern Michigan!
Donna
Our newest independent living community located in Holland, Michigan is open! The Village at Appledorn West welcomed our first new residents in October, and 70% of the apartments are already spoken for. Please stop by or call us at (616) 846-4700 to arrange for a tour.
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Nov 28, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
For the first time this year I will be helping my father with his Medicare Open Enrollment. My mother passed away unexpectedly last year and it is something she always did for both of them. I know it is an important process, but I’m not quite sure how to help him. I’m not yet eligible for Medicare myself so I don’t really understand what is covered, what isn’t and why he might need to make changes.
Can you help?
Doris in Holland, Michigan
Dear Doris:
First off, please accept my condolences. I’m sure this has been a tough year for you and your Dad.
It isn’t uncommon for adult children to find themselves struggling to help a parent with Medicare Open Enrollment. Like you, many have not yet reached the age when they are eligible for the benefit. So the alphabet soup of Medicare A, B, C and D can be very confusing. Here is just a quick overview of what each part of Medicare covers:
- Medicare Part A:
- Inpatient hospital care
- Short-term skilled nursing and rehab (if qualifying conditions are met)
- Hospice care
- Home health care (if qualifying conditions are met)
- Medicare Part B:
- Physicians & other health care providers
- Outpatient rehab (up to a pre-determined limit)
- Some medical equipment
- Ambulance services for an emergency
- Some preventative services and screenings
- Medicare Part D:
Equally important is understanding what is NOT covered by your father’s Medicare benefit:
- Long-term care in a nursing home or assisted living
- Routine dental care and eye care
- Hearing aids & exams
- Routine foot care
- In-home care
Medicare has a brochure you may find helpful in getting started. Yearly Medicare Plan Review is a free download that has important dates and resources to assist you with Medicare Open Enrollment.
I hope this information makes the process go more smoothly for you and your father, Doris!
Sandy
Heritage Senior Communities is pleased to announce that our newest community is opening soon in Holland, Michigan. The Village at Appledorn West will offer adults over the age of 55 one- and two-bedroom independent living apartments. The campus will also be expanded to include assisted living in the spring of 2015.
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