by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Feb 12, 2014 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My great aunt lives on a large, wooded farm in mid-Michigan. Unfortunately, she is almost 90 miles away from us. We bought her an iPad during the holidays and are trying to find ways to encourage her to use it to keep in touch with us and to connect with other homebound seniors. Do you have any advice to offer us on ways she can safely make those connections?
Sandy in Saginaw, Michigan
Dear Sandy:
What a thoughtful gift and a great way to help your aunt stay in touch with you! According to a study from Pew Internet Research adults 65 years and older are the fastest growing social media demographic and tablets, like an iPad, are easy for seniors to use. After you have your great aunt set up, preferably with WiFi in her home, here are a couple of sites you can help her navigate as you are teaching her how to use her iPad:
- Skype or another free video chat service. This may be the very best way to help her feel connected with you and other far away family members. It also offers you peace of mind by allowing you to “see” her for yourself every few days.
- Find friends on Facebook. Helping your aunt set up a Facebook page (complete with privacy settings) is another way for her stay in touch. She might be able to reconnect with childhood friends and neighbors that she has lost touch with over the years. It might also help her save money if she “Likes” some of her local merchants so she can watch for sales.
- Set up an email account. This is still the place where older adults spend the majority of their online hours – reading and responding to email messages. Having email access will allow her to keep in touch with you and other loved ones more easily.
- AARP Online. Their site is rich with resources, helpful articles, entertainment opportunities, online communities and more. You will find information on topics ranging from healthy eating in later life to travel tips for seniors.
We hope this helps your aunt get started on her new iPad!
All the best,
Donna
Are you an older adult who enjoys staying connected through social media?
Do you have any tips to share with Sandy? Please add them in the Comments below.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 31, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My brother and I will be visiting our elderly mother to tackle the topic of senior living this month. She lives in Holland, Michigan and we both live out of state. When we were visiting with her during the holidays, it was obvious to us that it is time for her to move. She just isn’t safe living alone any longer. We are concerned about how much this will all cost. While she isn’t a low income senior she does live on a fixed income. How do most families pay for assisted living in Michigan? We are trying to get our research done before we head back to our mother’s house this month.
Kristina
Dear Kristina:
It is a great idea to spend some time researching your options before you talk with your mother, and paying for care is usually one of the first questions we hear. Adult children from across the state of Michigan call our communities every day with your same concerns. The good news is that affordable senior housing is possible. Paying for a quality senior care solution for a loved one doesn’t mean an adult child has to mortgage everything they own. In fact, most families use a combination of resources to finance senior housing. They can include:
- Long-term care insurance: Many adult children overlook this when trying to finance in-home care or assisted living. They think the policy only covers a nursing home stay. In fact, many pay for other levels of care. Be sure to check in to this if your mother has a policy.
- Veteran’s Aid & Attendance Benefit: This is additional money available for veterans and/or a surviving spouse who qualify. If your father was a veteran or your mother is one, this is a great avenue to explore.
- MI Choice: Often referred to as the “waiver” program, it is designed to help Michigan residents who meet certain income and asset criteria finance senior care. If an elderly resident in Michigan qualifies, it can help with assisted living expenses.
- Life settlement solutions: These programs allow the elderly to sell an active life insurance policy for a cash amount greater than the surrender value but less than the face value or death benefit.
- Senior living line of credit: Several companies that offer these types of loans to help finance senior living. These short-term loans can be used, for example, while waiting for the sale of a home to be completed or a better time to liquidate an asset.
- Private funds: Most families do have to use at least some private funds to pay for an assisted living community for a senior loved one. It is typically money from savings, investments or the sale of a home
We hope this helps you, Kristina! We encourage you or your brother to call one of our local Michigan communities, including one we have near your mother in Holland, if you have any more questions.
Donna
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
During our family visit to my mother’s house in Traverse City, Michigan over the holidays, I came to the conclusion that she just isn’t safe living alone any longer. The change in her condition from last year to this year is quite dramatic. I was so shocked to see how much has changed! Mom has lost a lot of weight, her house was a mess and she is always forgetting to take her heart medications.
I know now that I need to find a senior living community in northern Michigan for her to move to this winter. I’m just not sure what to look for and where to start. Can you offer me any advice? One question I’m wondering about is whether or not I should visit some of the communities before I talk with my mom about moving.
Patty
Dear Patty:
I’m sure there are a considerable number of adult children who came to the same conclusion about their aging parent over the holidays. Many transitions to senior living communities begin at the prompting of an adult child.
Your question about when to involve your mother is one we hear quite often from families who are first beginning this search. The question is a tough one to answer because it really depends upon your personal situation.
If you think making a move is something your mother is ready for and may welcome, it is probably best to involve her right from the start. Some adult children we work with are surprised at how willing their parent is to move, especially those who have become fearful of living alone.
On the other hand if you feel your mother will be resistant, it may help to educate yourself on senior living and explore options before you tackle the topic with her. By eliminating some of the assisted living communities you know won’t work for her and narrowing the choices to those that might, you can make the process easier for her.
Here are a few factors to take in to consideration as you begin your search for care for a Michigan senior loved one:
- What is important to them? For example, do they have a pet they won’t move without? Do they want to be close to their church or to where their grandchildren are?
- Can a community accommodate their care needs now and in to the future? That is always a good question to ask the staff at each of the communities you talk with during your search. The last thing you want to have to do is move your mother again in a few months because she needs more care.
- How much space will they realistically need? This can be a real sticking point for some seniors, especially if they are moving from a large home. What do they really want and need to be able to take with them when they move?
- What type of environment will best suit their personality? Do they like to dress more formally for dinner or are they more comfortable in jeans and sneakers?
- Will they need transportation to physician appointments and for other errands? Assisted living communities all offer different types of transportation and at different prices.
I hope this helps you get started in your search, Patty. Please feel free to call one of the Heritage Senior Living communities if you need additional advice or guidance!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Nov 18, 2013 | Alzheimer's and Dementia, Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I am the caregiver for my 71 year old mother who has Alzheimer’s disease. In the past she has been able to handle Medicare open enrollment on her own. This year, for the first time, I will be responsible for this task. I’m not yet eligible for Medicare myself so this is all new to me. Can you help me figure out where and how to get started? I know this is important and I don’t want to make a mistake.
Karen in Holland, Michigan
Dear Karen:
Thank you for this great question! The open enrollment period for Medicare runs from October 15th through December 7th every year. It is the time when Medicare recipients can make changes to their current plan. Because we do receive this question from the adult children of our residents quite often, we have put together this list to help you make the most of open enrollment.
- Review your mother’s Annual Notice of Change (ANOC) even if you are happy with her current coverage. Double check to be sure the benefits of her plan will be the same in 2014 and that her current health care partners will still be a part of the plan.
- Should you decide you want to investigate different options for her, the Medicare Plan Finder tool will allow you to search for plans in her area by zip code.
- If your mother is participating in a Medicare Advantage plan, the Medicare Advantage Disenrollment Period (MADP) is from January 1st through February 14th each year. If you are unhappy with her plan, you can dis-enroll then.
- Drug coverage is always an area where adult children have many questions. To learn more about this part of her Medicare benefit, you can visit the Medicare website drug coverage resources.
- Finally, Medicare developed a brochure Have You Done Your Yearly Medicare Review that you can download for free to help you conduct this annual audit of her Medicare coverage.
I hope this helps you get started! If you have specific questions about her Medicare coverage, you can call Medicare directly at 1-800-MEDICARE for help. I always recommend that caregivers take notes when they call Medicare including the date, time and name of the person they spoke with for advice.
Donna
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Nov 4, 2013 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I am the primary caregiver for my 88-year old mother who lives in Saline, Michigan. I stop at her house every day either on my way to work or on the way home from work. When I had my annual physical last week, my physician told me she thinks care-giving is taking its toll on my health. My cholesterol is up, as is my blood pressure. She strongly encouraged me to find a respite program for my mother for a few weeks so that I can get some rest. Can you please explain to me what respite is?
Diane in Southeast Michigan
Dear Diane:
Many caregivers find themselves in your position. Juggling the care of an aging loved one with work and your own family can lead to increased health risks. In fact, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that at least half of all caregivers experience a decline in their own health. Respite is one way to get help.
In plain terms, respite is designed to give caregivers a break from their duties and allow them time to rest and renew. How respite works is that your mother would temporarily “move in” to a senior living community for a week or two. Any amount of time up to 30 days. She will have the full benefit of nutritious meals, life enrichment activities and outings, and all of the services every other resident enjoys. Some families even use respite on a regular basis.
Most health professionals, like your physician, stress how important it is for caregivers to take a break before they are exhausted. Because caregivers are often reluctant to admit that they do need help, researchers at California State University San Bernardino created a quick caregiver burden quiz . It only takes a few minutes to complete and it will assess the risk a caregiver is at for burnout or a serious medical condition.
Are you a family caregiver in Michigan?
Each of the Heritage Senior Communities across the state of Michigan offers respite.
Call the community nearest you for more information.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Oct 18, 2013 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
I am trying to persuade my 80-year old mother who lives alone in Traverse City, Michigan to move to an independent living community. We live almost 6 hours away from her and worry about her safety in the cold and snowy northern Michigan winters. She is very active and involved in her community. She even spends 4 or 5 hours a week volunteering. My mother somehow has the idea the senior living is just “a bunch of old people playing bingo.” What can I do to help her get a true picture of independent living?
Tammy in Toledo
Dear Tammy:
The out-of-date stereotypes of “homes” are still alive in the minds of many older adults. While we do play Bingo, independent living communities have so much more to offer. Here are a couple of suggestions that might help:
- You could start by talking with her about two of the main reasons older adults choose to move to independent living: to be free of the maintenance and upkeep of a home and for the life enrichment and socialization that happens every day. Most residents of an independent living community are a lot like your mother!
- Have a few of your local senior living communities mail you their monthly activity calendar. You could share those with your mother so she could see the wide range of programs that are offered. For example, at The Village at Bay Ridge in Traverse City life enrichment programs include book clubs, trips to the casino, quilting and theater outings. If she finds an activity that sounds interesting, most communities would happily invite her to join them.
- Visit a few communities without your mother along. You probably know her likes and dislikes well enough to determine if it might be a good fit. Then try to start with just having her visit for lunch and/or a tour. Agree ahead of time that she will be under no obligation to go again if she doesn’t like it.
I think once your mother can see for herself how active independent living residents really are, you will have a better chance at convincing her to make a move.
Good luck, Tammy!
Donna
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