by Shelley | Sep 11, 2023 | Healthy Aging
Dear Donna:
My dad was the primary caregiver for my mom the last few years until she passed away from cancer. Because our attention was so focused on Mom, we didn’t realize how much my dad’s own health had declined. Dad doesn’t have an illness like my mom did. He just seems to be getting frail.
One concern is that he doesn’t eat much. When he does, it’s fast food. I stock his freezer with healthy meals he can reheat, but he doesn’t seem interested. My parents were married over 60 years, and this is the first time in his adult life he’s lived alone. I’m wondering if that’s part of the issue.
Dad has admitted he could use a little help around the house each week when I can’t be there. His solution is a home care aide. We used an agency when my mom was still alive, so he is comfortable with that. My brother and I think assisted living would be a better option for his overall well-being.
Can you help me understand the differences between these two types of senior care? I’m just not sure if we should try to encourage him to move to assisted living or if home care would be better.
Sincerely,
Janice in Williamsburg, MI
Assisted Living or Home Care for an Aging Parent
Dear Janice:
This is a question that families often ask as they begin searching for solutions for a senior loved one. It sounds like your dad has been through a lot these past few years, so it makes sense that he could benefit from a helping hand.
While both options have similarities, there are distinct differences between assisted living and home care. And just to make sure you fully understand your options, your dad might also be a good candidate for an independent living community.
Let’s take a quick look at each of these types of care.
What Is Home Care?
Home care is also referred to by a variety of names, including private duty care or in-home care services. Depending on the situation, home care aides can help with light housekeeping, laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, transportation to appointments and errands, and personal care.
Be aware that home care is for people who:
- Require minimal to moderate assistance at fairly regular intervals. Because appointments are typically required, it’s not usually a good option for people who need assistance at random times, such as late night bathroom trips or last-minute errands.
- Have nonmedical needs that can be met with a few hours of support each day. Because laws vary by state, it’s important to know what services an agency can and can’t provide. Medication management is often closely regulated by states.
- Reside in a safe, senior-friendly home that is easy to navigate. Home care can’t compensate for a house that has too many stairs or a bathroom that isn’t senior-friendly.
Adult children often find home care useful in the short-term when they are exploring local independent and assisted living communities. It helps to keep the older adult safe and give the family the time needed to make an informed choice about senior living.
The Benefits of Independent Living
Independent living communities are a senior housing option designed with the active adult in mind. Older adults who make this move want a lifestyle free from the worries of home maintenance and repairs so they can focus on their social lives.
Here are some of the benefits of independent living communities that seniors and families appreciate most:
- Maintenance-free living: No more worries about shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, or fixing the dishwasher! A move to independent living comes with a maintenance-free lifestyle.
- Healthy meals: Because seniors who live alone often find preparing meals for one to be too much work, they develop bad eating habits. Many independent living communities offer meal options that make it easier to eat well.
- Amenities and conveniences: Depending on the community, residents will have a host of amenities and conveniences. Housekeeping, laundry, lawn care, snow removal, transportation, trash removal, and an on-site beauty/barber shop are a few standard services.
- Social opportunities: These communities provide meaningful ways to connect with others every day. From a morning cup of coffee in the dining room to a group outing to a popular local restaurant for lunch, the lifestyle is a primary reason people move to independent living.
- Safety and security: The safe, secure environment these communities offer to older adults is another benefit. From having staff on-site 24/7 to emergency call systems, residents feel safe living alone.
Understanding Assisted Living
Assisted living is sometimes described as the best of two worlds. Residents have the privacy and independence they value while also knowing help is nearby when needed. Residents usually have their own apartment or suite with on-site caregivers available around the clock to offer support.
The benefits of assisted living include:
- A senior-friendly environment with features in place to decrease the likelihood of falling
- Preventing or delaying health issues linked to isolation, such as depression, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease
- Reliable, affordable transportation for outings and errands, which is especially helpful if a senior wants to limit or give up driving
- Assistance with medication management so residents stay on schedule with their prescription and over-the-counter medicines
I hope this quick overview gives you some direction. Please call a Heritage community near you with any questions or to arrange a personal tour for your dad and your family.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 8, 2023 | Alzheimer's and Dementia
When a senior loved one has Alzheimer’s disease, family members often pitch in to help with their care. It can be a rewarding experience. Whether it is a spouse, parent, or grandparent, providing support for a loved one helps you feel as if you are making a difference.
But caregiving can also be physically and emotionally exhausting. The unique challenges caused by the disease can leave family caregivers fatigued and worn out. It’s fairly common for loved ones to begin experiencing health issues of their own as a result.
Added to that is the emotional journey Alzheimer’s takes families on. Dementia experts often call it “the long good-bye.” It’s a fitting description of a disease that slowly robs a person of their health, independence, and memory.
The Alzheimer’s Caregiver Struggle
The demands of caring for an adult with Alzheimer’s are unique. Whether it’s worries about wandering or issues related to memory, loved ones face a variety of challenges. It can lead to feelings of uncertainty and loneliness.
Families may get embarrassed about behaviors they aren’t aware are common when a person has Alzheimer’s, such as angry outbursts in public or inappropriate comments. While friends may sympathize, they likely can’t understand and relate unless they’ve been through it.
The result is that between 40 and 70 percent of family caregivers find themselves battling depression. One way to better cope with the rollercoaster of emotions many caregivers experience is connecting with peers. Joining a caregiver support group allows you to do just that.
Benefits of Joining a Caregiver Support Group
Support groups give caregivers a judgement-free place to share guilt, fears, and frustrations. It can also be a forum for asking questions and obtaining suggestions from people who’ve faced similar challenges. You can join a support group that meets in person, such as one hosted by a specialized dementia care community or senior center, or an online group.
Some caregivers prefer an in-person meeting because of the face-to-face interaction it offers. It can be a meaningful way to connect with caregiving peers. Others are more comfortable with the anonymity of an online support group or forum. The 24/7 accessibility makes it easier for busy caregivers to participate. Caregivers can post their questions or challenges in chat forums or on message boards any time of day or night and get advice.
Here are a few online caregiver support groups to explore:
- ALZConnected: Created by the Alzheimer’s Association, this forum gives dementia caregivers access to helpful information and resources. They also host message boards and chat rooms dedicated to specific topics related to Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
- Family Caregiver Alliance: This organization is for all types of caregivers. Through this website, people can connect with groups that support everything from cancer patients to struggling spouses.
- com: On this site, you will find resources and forums on a variety of topics of interest to caregivers. They range from where to buy adult briefs at the best price to how to plan for a loved one’s move to senior living.
Specialized Dementia Care at Heritage
If you are caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, exploring the options for assistance in your local area is important. For those who live in Michigan, Heritage Senior Communities may be of interest. We invite you to schedule a visit and personal tour of a specialized dementia care program at a location near you!
by Shelley | Aug 28, 2023 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My parents recently sold their home in another state and moved to Michigan to stay with my wife and me. The arrangement is temporary while we search for a senior living community for them.
I’m trying to get them on track with their health care and nutrition. They have never been very good about going to the doctor, but it got worse in the last few years. Their diet is also unhealthy. The first thing I need to do is find a doctor. They both need a complete physical and likely most of their health screenings, especially bloodwork.
Do you have any ideas for helping me locate a doctor for seniors? I prefer someone who has experience working with older adults. Any tips would be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Steve in Elk Rapids, MI
Finding a Doctor for a Senior Loved One
Dear Steve:
Your question is commonly asked by adult children! Unless an older adult is fortunate enough to have a longtime primary care physician, many find themselves needing to make a change. Because of the shortage of family practice doctors in many areas of the country, this task can be much tougher than in the past.
I do have some suggestions that might make your search easier:
- Investigate physicians in their insurance plan: Since you mentioned your parents moved to Michigan from another state, one factor to keep in mind is their insurance network. If they transitioned to a different Medicare Advantage plan, you’ll need to check to see which doctors are covered. For older adults who are on traditional Medicare, there will probably be more options. Medicare will create a list of doctors near you who accept new patients. You can find this list online or by calling Medicare directly at 1-800-633-4227. (TTY users can call 1-877-486-2048.)
- Ask for recommendations: You can read reviews on a variety of sites, such as Vitals, Healthgrades, and RateMDs. While they can provide some insight, nothing can replace personal referrals. Ask friends and colleagues involved in a parent’s care which physicians they like and dislike. Maybe ask for recommendations on Facebook, too.
- Talk with the hospital discharge planner or social worker: If you have a preferred hospital in your community, they might be able to point you in the right direction. While they likely can’t provide recommendations, many are aware of physicians who work with seniors. Those who work in emergency departments of the hospital sometimes keep a list of physicians who are accepting new patients.
Once you’ve narrowed down your list, call the office to see if they offer meet and greet times for potential new patients. Even a few minutes of a physician’s time might give you an idea of whether they will be a good fit for your parents.
If you find yourself struggling to overcome your parents’ reluctance to see a doctor, we have a few tips. How Do I Get My Dad to See the Doctor Regularly has ideas you might find useful.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Aug 21, 2023 | Caregiving
When a senior loved one begins to experience health issues or struggle with the activities of daily life, family members and friends often lend a hand. It’s usually with small tasks, such as running errands. As time passes, these duties often increase. Adult children can also be called upon to help with clinical tasks, such as wound care.
Providing support to someone whose health is declining can take a significant toll on physical and emotional well-being. While it might seem less expensive to have an older family member move into your home, many of the costs associated with caregiving aren’t obvious. Lost wages and benefits, an increase in household expenses, and wear and tear on the family car are a few.
If you are debating between having a senior move into your home or encouraging a transition to an assisted living community, here are some of the hidden costs of caregiving you should not overlook.
Don’t Overlook These Caregiving Expenses
- Lost wages, benefits, and career growth: One of the biggest expenses that people fail to consider is loss of income, both now and into the future. As the senior’s needs increase, family members are often forced to cut back on their work hours or give up working entirely for a while. The end result is lost wages and benefits related to their current job, but also missed opportunities for career growth. Caregivers who temporarily stop working might find it difficult to obtain a similar paying position when they are ready to return to work, too.
- Higher vehicle and gasoline expenses: Caregivers are often surprised at how often they find themselves behind the wheel. From doctor’s appointments to trips to the pharmacy, the extra mileage means more expenses. The extra costs for gas, oil changes, tires, and brakes can quickly add up. If the vehicle is leased, the impact can be even greater. You may exceed your mileage allotment and incur penalties.
- Greater household expenses and modification costs: When you add an additional person to your household, your home expenses will rise. From higher utilities to extra food costs, you’ll need to budget for this increase as well. Then there is the likelihood that your home may need to undergo some modifications to make it more senior-friendly. Ramps on exterior doors, grab bars in bedrooms and bathrooms, and a step-free shower are the most common.
- More medical bills for the caregiver: One more hidden cost of caregiving is increased medical expenses for the caregiver. The role is often physically and emotionally demanding. Adults who provide care are at higher risk for medical conditions, such as digestive issues, back pain, headaches, and anxiety, than their non-caregiving peers.
One final consideration is a different kind of cost: loss of personal time. While caregiving can be a labor of love, it is often a 24/7 responsibility. As a result, caregivers often experience a loss of privacy, personal space, and time to spend with their own children.
Visit Heritage Senior Living to Learn More
The best way to learn more about assisted living is with a personal visit. Before you decide to move a senior loved one into your home, we encourage you to tour a Heritage community near you. One of our experienced team members will be able to answer all of your questions and help you learn more about the benefits our communities offer.
by Shelley | Aug 14, 2023 | Alzheimer's and Dementia, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My 76-year-old father moved in with my family earlier this spring. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just over a year ago and isn’t safe living alone any longer. I’m slowly learning how to work around the changes the disease has caused and to improve his health and quality of life.
I’ve come up with some activities that allow him to feel productive despite his Alzheimer’s, such as helping me around the house and in the garden. When he was living alone, he skipped a lot of meals and lost a considerable amount of weight. While I’ve found ways to encourage him to eat, I’m still struggling to get him to drink water.
Dad’s doctor told me he was dehydrated during his last appointment and that I need to encourage him to drink often throughout the day. I think the underlying issue is my dad seems to be afraid of water. Does that happen with Alzheimer’s? My husband helps him with his showers and said it’s becoming increasingly difficult.
Do you have any advice for us?
Sincerely,
Kristie in Sutton’s Bay, MI
Water, Hydration, and Alzheimer’s Disease
Dear Kristie:
What a great observation! It is fairly common for a person with Alzheimer’s to develop a fear of water. Water-related tasks, such as filling a glass of water or showering, can result in anxiety and agitation. Just the sound of water running can cause fear. But it’s obviously very important that your dad stays hydrated, which can be even more difficult during the summer.
Here are a few suggestions that might be helpful:
- Be mindful when you fill his water glass: If your dad has developed a phobia about water, it might help to fill his water glass when he isn’t within hearing range. Add lemon, cucumber, or berries to the glass for a bit of a distraction. Using a dark-colored glass might also be helpful in disguising the water.
- Provide frequent reminders: Since people with memory loss may forget to drink water, prompting them to drink throughout the day might help. Don’t wait for your dad to say he is thirsty. Just tell him it’s time for a drink. It might help if you drink water while encouraging him to do so.
- Serve foods that hydrate: Also remember that many fruits and vegetables have a high water content. This makes it easier for adults with Alzheimer’s to increase hydration. Leafy greens, melon, berries, tomatoes, celery, cauliflower, and cucumber are just a few. Soup and broth are other good choices.
- Review his medications: Some medications have a diuretic effect that can increase the risk for dehydration. Talk with your dad’s pharmacist to determine if any of his prescriptions or over-the-counter medications might be an issue. If you find one that is, ask his primary care doctor for advice on how much fluid he should be taking in to compensate for it. There might even be another medication that can be substituted.
I hope a few of these tips are helpful to you, Kristie! Best wishes to you and your dad.
Kind regards,
Donna
Dementia Care at Heritage Senior Communities
If someone you love has Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia, our Specialized Dementia Care program might be a solution. From person-centered care to guided social interactions, the program is designed to allow people with dementia to live their best quality of life. Call the closest Heritage community on this list to learn more!
