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How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

by | Feb 11, 2019 | Dear Donna

Dear Donna,

My father is in his late seventies and has recently developed mobility problems. He’s at home alone a lot, but luckily he has the internet. He loves being online, emailing, sharing photos, and reading about politics.

He and his old friends, most of whom live outside of the state of Michigan now, communicate regularly online. They share links, forward emails, and suggest videos to one another. Most have also joined Facebook.

All this is great for him, but I worry that he’s going to click on a link and end up downloading a virus. Or worse, what if he receives one of those scam emails that trick people in to revealing personal information?

How can I make sure my dad is safe when he’s online?

I don’t want to offend his intelligence but at the same time, I’m not sure he’s aware of all the ways scammers are targeting seniors these days. How do I start a conversation that won’t offend him?

Regards,

Roxanne in Dearborn

Learn More about Cyber Crime and Seniors

Dear Roxanne,

Thank you for your question. You’re right! Much of today’s cyber crime is aimed at older Americans. According to the FBI’s website, seniors are targeted for many reasons. Scammers of all kinds—not just the online type—see seniors as more trusting and less suspicious.

But that’s not the only reason scammers think older adults make good targets.

Why Scammers Target Seniors

According to the FBI, seniors are targeted because:

  • Scammers think seniors are too polite to say “no” or to hang up the phone or let an email go unanswered
  • Seniors are more likely to have something worth stealing: retirement money and a mortgage-free home
  • Older adults are also more likely to have good credit
  • Scammers prefer victims who don’t report fraud to the authorities and embarrassed seniors often fit the bill
  • Crooks believe the aging stereotypes and think seniors may not make good witnesses because of memory loss
  • Older Americans are very susceptible to products promising certain benefits, such as improved memory, anti-cancer, and younger skin to name a few

You likely need to have a discussion with your father about online safety. Point out these facts to him, mentioning that even though he may be wise in many ways, the internet is new territory for most people. Scammers are inventive and everyone gets fooled occasionally.

Crooks sometimes pose as government officials and contact people online to steal their personal information. Analysis of the victims of these scams shows that seniors are more susceptible to these types of cons than younger generations. If you want to steer the conversation to a more specific topic, this might be a good place to start.

I hope this advice was helpful, Roxanne! Good luck helping your father stay safe online.

Donna

Do You Have a Question for Donna?

If you’re a caregiver and there’s something on your mind, write to Donna! She answers questions relating to aging, senior living and caregiving each month. Your questions are welcome any time, and they may help someone else who is struggling with the same issue.

We can also answer questions about senior living by phone or in person. Contact us to schedule a tour of one of our communities at your convenience!

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

When to Bring Parents on an Assisted Living Tour

by | Jan 28, 2019 | Dear Donna

Dear Donna,

My parents asked me to help them find an assisted living community. Every time we have plans to visit a community, they come up with an excuse to not go.

I am happy to help them, but I am starting to think they don’t want to find a place. Should I take my parents with me on my first round of assisted living tours, or can I narrow down their options first and bring them on the second round of tours?

Alison from Saline, MI

 

When Should Your Parents Start Touring Assisted Living Communities?

 

Dear Alison,

Many children want to help their senior parents find a senior living community, but sometimes their loved ones don’t make it easy. Regardless of the reason, resistance on the part of a parent can make adult children wonder if it’s necessary to include them in the entire process.

Sometimes, it is more productive to narrow down your options before bringing a senior along for a tour. Other times, it’s better to include them in the entire process. Here are a few tips to help you decide which route to take.

Bringing Your Parents on All Assisted Living Tours

The main benefit of bringing your parents on every visit is that they can decide what they like and dislike about a community. This can greatly increase the chances they will pick one that is the best fit.

Including your parent also helps them maintain a sense of independence and control. That’s an important part of helping a senior feel empowered.

However, bringing your mom and dad with you on every tour can have a downside. Not every community will be a good fit and you will likely recognize those that obviously aren’t. By eliminating those choices, you help make the process a little less stressful.

If your parents are turned off by a community early, they might try to find something wrong with every community. For seniors that are resistant to moving, this can make the process much longer.

Here are a few cases when you might want to bring your parents on every visit:

  • They are excited about the move and want to be included.
  • They enjoy meeting the residents and engaging with the staff.
  • They can walk around the communities without tiring quickly.

Narrowing Down Your Options before Bringing Seniors on an Assisted Living Tour

Narrowing down to just two or three options before bringing your parents to visit the communities can be significantly quicker than bringing them on every visit. This is especially true if you know what questions to ask on an assisted living tour.

Conversely, narrowing down your options from the beginning may not allow you to get the best understanding of what your parents need from a community.

Here are a few scenarios where it makes sense to narrow down your options first:

  • They have mobility limitations that make it difficult to tour several communities.
  • They have a cognitive impairment that makes them unable to make decisions about their living arrangements.
  • They aren’t happy about moving and you need to find communities that are obviously a good fit.

I hope this helps, Alison.

Regards,

Donna

 

Schedule a Tour with Heritage Senior Communities

At Heritage Senior Communities, including our Linden Square location in Saline, we encourage seniors and their families to visit with several communities before making a decision. Contact us today to schedule a private tour.

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

What Is the Difference between Assisted Living and Independent Living?

by | Jan 14, 2019 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging

Dear Donna,

I am trying to help my parents find a senior living community. I am not sure if I should be looking for an independent living community or an assisted living community.

Can you please explain the difference between independent living and assisted living?

Sincerely,

Vanessa from Holland, MI

 

Understanding the Difference Between Independent Living and Assisted Living

 

Dear Vanessa,

It’s common to have trouble understanding the difference between independent living and assisted living. Having so many senior living options available can be overwhelming for families. However, it’s crucial to fully understand your options if you want to ensure you help your senior parents make the right decision.

In the simplest terms, independent living is for healthy seniors who want to maintain an active lifestyle. Assisted living is for seniors who need support to maintain their independence.

Amount of Assistance Needed

The primary difference between assisted living communities and independent living communities is the amount of care provided to their residents.

Assisted living communities usually have around-the-clock assistance available. Professional caregivers are available 24/7 to support seniors with everyday activities like preparing meals and managing medications. If your senior parents can’t spend more than a few days alone without jeopardizing their health or safety, then assisted living is likely for them.

Independent living communities, on the other hand, are more suitable for healthy seniors who don’t need much assistance. Many communities offer amenities that can significantly improve their quality of life. A few common services include meal plans, cleaning services, and maintenance.

Reasons for Moving

The reasons for moving are also different between seniors who choose assisted living versus those who select independent living.

Seniors who move to an assisted living community usually do so because they need some form of assistance to remain independent. A few common reasons seniors choose assisted living include:

  • Needing help with activities of daily living.
  • Having trouble maintaining their home.
  • Struggling to meet their nutritional requirements.
  • Having a health condition that requires supervision.
  • Wanting to give their families peace of mind that they are safe.

Seniors who choose independent living often move to have their desired lifestyle. A few common reasons seniors move to independent living communities include:

  • Being a part of a community with people who are their age and share similar interests.
  • Enjoying their retirement years without many of the responsibilities that come with home ownership.
  • Having easy access to the services and amenities offered at that particular community.

Financing Options Available

Another factor that varies between assisted living and independent living is the financing options available.

Because seniors usually choose assisted living for health and safety reasons, they are often able to find resources to lower their out-of-pocket expenses. A few common resources include long-term care insurance, employee benefits programs, VA benefits, and Medicaid.

The cost of independent living varies due to multiple factors including the type of housing, the amenities offered, and the services provided. Because it’s considered a choice to live there, it usually doesn’t qualify for any financial assistance.

I hope this helps you decide which senior living option is best for your parents.

Regards,

Donna

 

Heritage Senior Communities Helps Families Understand Their Options

Heritage Senior Communities, including our Appledorn Assisted Living location, provide support to help families decide which senior living option is best for their loved ones. If you are an adult children or family member who is having trouble understanding the difference between assisted living and independent living, please feel free to contact us. We’ll be happy to help!

 

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

How Do I Start a Conversation with My Mom about Assisted Living?

by | Dec 24, 2018 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna,

After visiting my mother over the holidays, I noticed a few signs that she may no longer be able to live on her own.

She had dishes piled in the sink and her laundry basket was overflowing. This is very unusual for my mother because she has always been very tidy.

How do I start a conversation with my mom about assisted living?

Sincerely,

Erica from Saline, MI

 

Starting a Conversation about Assisted Living

 

Dear Erica,

Starting a conversation about assisted living is rarely easy. Many family members are hesitant to bring up the topic for fear they will upset their loved ones. This causes them to delay the conversation, sometimes until an accident or illness forces the discussion.

Talking about assisted living under these conditions can make the process far more stressful. It can result in unnecessary arguments, and can even harm your relationship.

An accident also forces you to rush the process. This can significantly limit the time you have to thoroughly evaluate your options.

To avoid the consequences of waiting, it’s best to start the conversation as soon as possible. Here are a few tips for you to start the conversation about assisted living.

 

4 Tips to Start a Conversation about Assisted Living

 

  1. Do your research.

Before attempting to start a conversation about assisted living, do your research. Becoming knowledgeable about assisted living in Michigan will enable you to have a productive discussion and be a resource for your loved one. This will encourage them to come to you with their questions.

  1. Approach the topic with empathy.

When discussing a potentially sensitive topic like assisted living, it’s crucial to approach the conversation with the intent to understand the other person.

Older adults have their own opinions about assisted living. For seniors, assisted living can mean:

  • Leaving the home they’ve lived in for a long time.
  • Admitting they need help.
  • Feeling like they’re losing their independence.

Taking the time to listen to their concerns will make them feel more comfortable discussing their feelings with you.

  1. Start talking about assisted living early.

Moving to an assisted living community is a huge, life-changing event. It’s probably going to require more than one discussion.

This is one of the biggest reasons to bring up the topic early. Your loved one may not immediately understand why you are concerned. They might not see the benefits associated with moving to a community.

Bringing your concerns to their attention early on will allow them time to soak in what you’ve told them.

  1. Put your relationship first.

It’s important to remember to put your relationship with your loved one first. If the conversation leads to arguments or becomes hostile in any way, you may need to take a step back. You may even have to accept that you aren’t the right person to have the discussion.

Some seniors take advice better from certain family members than others. Some loved ones may even require a professional like a doctor or a geriatric care manager to advise them to transition to assisted living before they start to listen.

I hope this helps you start a conversation with your mother about assisted living!

Sincerely,

Donna

Heritage Senior Communities

Starting a conversation about assisted living can be challenging for many families. After all, it requires them to admit they need help and consider leaving a home they’ve likely lived in for a long time.

Heritage Senior Communities, including our Linden Square Assisted Living Center, provide support to make the conversation about assisted living easier for seniors and their families. Contact us for more information.

 

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

How Can I Tell If It’s Time for My Uncle to Give up Driving?

by | Dec 10, 2018 | Caregiving, Dear Donna

Dear Donna,

My uncle recently turned 86 years old. He’s in pretty good shape for his age, but I’m concerned that he is getting too old to drive.

How can I tell if it’s time for my uncle to give up driving?

Sincerely,

Melissa from Holland, MI

 

How to Tell When It’s Time to Stop Driving

 

Dear Melissa,

Knowing when it’s time to give up driving can be hard. There is no set age when a person is supposed to stop driving. Some adults drive well into their nineties without any problems while others are forced to give up their keys sooner.

While age alone doesn’t determine a person’s ability to drive, there are age-related changes that can affect a person’s ability to drive safely. This includes physical changes like reduced mobility and vision loss. Cognitive changes like a slower reaction time can also affect driving.

Here are a few signs to help you determine if it’s unsafe for a senior loved one to drive.

 

Signs It May Be Time for Seniors to Give up Driving

 

  1. Their driving performance

One of the easiest ways to determine if a loved one is safe on the road is to evaluate their driving performance. Next time you go out, ask them to drive.

Here are a few signs of unsafe driving:

  • Trouble staying in their lane
  • Long pauses at stop signs and red lights
  • Driving above or below the speed limit
  • Riding the brake
  • Difficulty parking
  • Riding up the curb

If you notice any of these red flags, it may be a good idea to bring it to their attention.

  1. Their state of mind

Your loved one’s state of mind while driving can say a lot about their driving ability. Here are a few emotions that can affect their ability to drive safely:

  • Nervousness: Many older adults become nervous on the road; this can affect their driving.
  • Confusion: Being confused can indicate they are unsure of what to do during certain situations.
  • Irritation: Does your loved one get irritated easily while driving? Unnecessary road rage can be their way of coping with stress and frustration while driving.

If your loved one demonstrates any of these emotions, it may be a good idea to talk to them about how they feel about driving. They could be lacking confidence in their own driving ability.

  1. Health conditions that could affect their driving

Many health conditions can affect a person’s ability to drive. Here are a few conditions that are common among seniors:

  • Alzheimer’s disease: Alzheimer’s disease causes cognitive difficulties that can make driving unsafe. Seniors can forget where they are going, make poor decisions, and get lost.
  • Arthritis: Arthritis causes stiffness in the joints, which can make driving painful. This can make turning the wheel and other movements necessary to drive incredibly difficult. They can even have trouble getting in and out of the car.
  • Glaucoma: Glaucoma makes it difficult to see out of central vision. Cyclists, pedestrians, and even other cars can be missed.
  • Age-related macular degeneration: Another condition that affects vision is macular degeneration. This can make it difficult to see signs, traffic signals, and pedestrians.

If your loved one has any of these conditions, it may be time to talk to your loved one about hanging up their keys.

I hope this helps you determine if it’s time for your senior loved one to stop driving!

Regards,

Donna

Heritage Senior Communities Promote Senior Safety

Heritage Senior Communities encourage senior safety in our assisted living communities throughout Michigan. Contact us today to learn more about our senior living options or to schedule a private tour at one of our locations, such as Appledorn Assisted Living community in Holland.

How to Prevent a Parent from Becoming a Victim of Cyber Crime?

Activities for Kids to Do with a Grandparent Who Has Alzheimer’s Disease

by | Nov 12, 2018 | Dear Donna

Dear Donna,

My children had a great relationship with their grandfather until he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

After he moved to assisted living, their relationship began to deteriorate. Every time my kids visit him, they complain that they are bored and constantly ask when they can go home.

I want my children to spend time with their grandfather, but I am struggling to make their time together enjoyable.

What are some fun activities that kids can do with a grandparent who has Alzheimer’s disease?

Sincerely,

Yolanda in Holland, MI

 

Activities for Kids to Do with a Grandparent Who Has Alzheimer’s

 

Dear Yolanda,

It can be difficult for grandchildren to connect with loved ones after a move to assisted living. Alzheimer’s makes finding activities that both kids and their grandparents can enjoy even more complicated. But the relationship between children and their grandparents is important.

For children, spending time with their grandparents exposes them to new wisdom and knowledge, as well as a different perspective.

Relationships also become more important for adults with Alzheimer’s disease. Spending time with grandchildren can make them feel important and bring them the sense of connectedness that they often lose as their disease progresses.

Here are a few activities that can be fun for both children and older loved ones with Alzheimer’s.

 

Activities Kids and Grandparents Can Do Together

 

Gardening

Gardening is a common past time for older adults, and it can be highly beneficial for people with Alzheimer’s disease.

Many older adults lose their sense of purpose after they are diagnosed with the disease. Gardening can help bring it back by giving them something to take care of.

Gardening is an activity that adults with Alzheimer’s and kids can do together. Your senior loved one will enjoy being able to pass their knowledge about gardening to their grandkids. In turn, your kids will learn a new skill. Kids and grandparents can even decorate the pots they are going to use.

 

Bird Watching

Bird watching is another great activity that kids and their grandparents can both enjoy. Purchase some birdhouses—you can even purchase plain houses and decorate them together.

Put birdfeed in the houses and set them up around the yard. You will all have a great time watching the birds eat. You can even purchase a bird reference guide and watch as your loved ones try to identify the birds in the yard.

 

Create a Family Tree

A family tree can be an excellent opportunity for children to create memories with their grandparents. It can also be a learning experience for your children to see where they came from.

For adults with Alzheimer’s, it can be a great way for them to reminisce. This can be therapeutic and stimulate their memory.

Get a poster board and have them draw out their family tree. Gather family photos and place them on the tree. Include names and birthdays.

 

Memory Care at Heritage Senior Communities

 

Many memory care programs—like the one at Appledorn’s Heritage Senior Communities location—offer a variety of opportunities for kids to do activities with grandparents.

Contact us to learn more about specialized dementia care at Appledorn Assisted Living Center South.

I hope this helps you come up with fun activities for your kids to enjoy with their grandfather. You won’t regret encouraging a relationship between your kids and their grandfather. Your kids will be thankful you did as well.

Sincerely,

Donna