by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 16, 2014 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
Adult children often have difficulty discussing financial matters with an aging loved one. In many families, finances just aren’t discussed. Now, as a senior loved one grows older, those conversations are more and more important ones to have. Do you know if they have a will or durable power of attorney and where you might find those documents? In the event of a crisis, would you know what bills your parent has that might need to be paid? Many times an elder crisis is caused by a gradual decline that you see coming, but often times there is no warning. A slip on an icy Michigan sidewalk can send an aging loved one to the hospital and then to rehab. Would you be able to locate the financial and medical documents you need to help them?
To make it easier to get started, we have pulled together a list of basic questions to ask your senior loved one before a crisis occurs.
Important Documents and Medical Cards
- Where is their Medicare card?
- Do they still have traditional Medicare or have they gone with a Medicare replacement product? If they have, what is the company name and where is the card?
- Do they have any type of secondary insurance? If so, what company is it with and where is that card?
- What is their social security number and where do they keep their card? (This is a good time to remind them that this should be stored in a safe place to avoid identify theft and not kept in a wallet or purse)
- Do they have a will? Who is the executor? Is there an attorney involved?
- Where is their original birth certificate?
- Do they have any life insurance and/or long-term care policies?
- Do they have a Power of Attorney (POA) and/ Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)? Who have they named to represent their wishes? Where are these documents? (In the event of a crisis, it is important to have copies on hand and not have to wait for a bank to re-open on Monday should a crisis occur on a weekend.)
Managing Finances
- What banks do they use and what are their bank account numbers and passwords? Do they use online accounts?
- Are you or another loved one on the account with them? In the event of an emergency that would require you or another adult child to pay their bills for them would you have authority to do so?
- Do they have a safe deposit box? If so, where is it and where are the keys?
- What bills do they have and when do they pay them?
Assets
- Where is their mortgage information or deed to their house? What home owners insurance do they have?
- If they are still driving, is their car paid for in full? Where is the title to the vehicle? Who is it insured through?
- Do they have a list of their stocks, bonds, and other accounts?
Just the thought of asking your senior loved one these questions might make you squirm. But the consequences of not knowing the answers may put your loved one at risk of not getting the help they need and want in a crisis.
Have we missed anything? Please share any questions we’ve missed in the comments below!
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
During our family visit to my mother’s house in Traverse City, Michigan over the holidays, I came to the conclusion that she just isn’t safe living alone any longer. The change in her condition from last year to this year is quite dramatic. I was so shocked to see how much has changed! Mom has lost a lot of weight, her house was a mess and she is always forgetting to take her heart medications.
I know now that I need to find a senior living community in northern Michigan for her to move to this winter. I’m just not sure what to look for and where to start. Can you offer me any advice? One question I’m wondering about is whether or not I should visit some of the communities before I talk with my mom about moving.
Patty
Dear Patty:
I’m sure there are a considerable number of adult children who came to the same conclusion about their aging parent over the holidays. Many transitions to senior living communities begin at the prompting of an adult child.
Your question about when to involve your mother is one we hear quite often from families who are first beginning this search. The question is a tough one to answer because it really depends upon your personal situation.
If you think making a move is something your mother is ready for and may welcome, it is probably best to involve her right from the start. Some adult children we work with are surprised at how willing their parent is to move, especially those who have become fearful of living alone.
On the other hand if you feel your mother will be resistant, it may help to educate yourself on senior living and explore options before you tackle the topic with her. By eliminating some of the assisted living communities you know won’t work for her and narrowing the choices to those that might, you can make the process easier for her.
Here are a few factors to take in to consideration as you begin your search for care for a Michigan senior loved one:
- What is important to them? For example, do they have a pet they won’t move without? Do they want to be close to their church or to where their grandchildren are?
- Can a community accommodate their care needs now and in to the future? That is always a good question to ask the staff at each of the communities you talk with during your search. The last thing you want to have to do is move your mother again in a few months because she needs more care.
- How much space will they realistically need? This can be a real sticking point for some seniors, especially if they are moving from a large home. What do they really want and need to be able to take with them when they move?
- What type of environment will best suit their personality? Do they like to dress more formally for dinner or are they more comfortable in jeans and sneakers?
- Will they need transportation to physician appointments and for other errands? Assisted living communities all offer different types of transportation and at different prices.
I hope this helps you get started in your search, Patty. Please feel free to call one of the Heritage Senior Living communities if you need additional advice or guidance!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 31, 2013 | Caregiving, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
For readers of our blog that are family caregivers, we have an idea for 2014 we would like to share with you. We know that your role as caregiver for someone you love creates considerable stress for you every day. The job is physically exhausting and emotionally challenging. As we head in to a New Year instead of making New Year’s resolutions you probably won’t have time to keep, consider adopting one little word.
The One Little Word Project was created seven years ago by author Ali Edwards. Edwards felt that by adopting one simple word for the year, she would be able to keep her life centered. Her word would give her focus as she went about her daily life. Her project has taken on a life of its own and been widely adopted by individuals ranging from physicians and nurses to emergency services workers.
In lieu of a making a list of resolutions this New Year’s Eve, pick one word that summarizes your goal for 2014. Own that word throughout all of the year. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your caregiver duties or sad about the change in health you see in your loved one, focus on your word.
How can you get started?
Think about what you hope for in 2014.
- Are you trying to be grateful for each day you have with an elderly loved one and live in the moment? Maybe your word could be PURPOSEFUL.
- Struggling to convince yourself that good enough will do as you juggle all of your roles in life? Try adopting ACCEPTANCE as your word in 2014.
- Trying to let go of worrying too much about things you can’t control? Make your word BELIEVE.
Get the idea? Think about your struggles and your hopes and pick a word. If you keep this up year after year, your word may begin to find you.
We’d love to hear from some of you who adopt a word! Please share your journey with us next year…
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 26, 2013 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
Family caregivers have a stressful and demanding role. Largely made up of women who work at least part-time and who care for children of their own, the demands on their time are often impossible to manage. While a support group seems like the obvious choice to helping them to better cope, finding the time to attend a meeting may create even more stress. Online caregiver support groups can be a solution.
Why are support groups helpful to caregivers and what sites offer online forums?
The Mayo Clinic tackled the first of these two questions. They found that:
- Sharing feelings with those who are walking their same path is by far the biggest advantage. The moral support and understanding peer groups offer can help relieve guilt, fear and anxiety that often accompany caregiving.
- Online support groups offer the advantage of anonymity. It gives caregivers an outlet for talking honestly about their feelings. If a caregiver is feeling guilty for snapping at a loved one with dementia when they ask the same question over and over and over, they will no doubt find people in the group who have had that experience.
- Online communities allow participants to join in when they can. That is a huge advantage for overwhelmed caregivers. They can jump online at midnight after their loved one has fallen asleep or over lunch at their desk.
How can a caregiver find an online support groups?
There are a variety of organizations that help to connect family caregivers with an online support group that meets their unique needs. Here are just a few to consider:
If you are Michigan caregiver and you prefer an in-person support group, we invite you to contact the Heritage Senior Community nearest you for more information.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 23, 2013 | Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Finding healthy holiday food choices can be tough on our waistline. Health experts say that the average American gains from ten to twelve pounds between Thanksgiving and the New Year. For older adults with a health condition like high cholesterol, high blood pressure or diabetes, that amount of weight gain can spell trouble.
How can you enjoy the season’s festivities without packing on the pounds?
Here are few tips to help you separate foods that are naughty from those that are nice:
- Choose lean poultry and seafood over beef when you have a choice of entrees.
- Sweet potatoes are high in fiber and a great alternative to fat laden mashed potatoes and gravy.
- Cranberries are a power food rich in antioxidants and fiber.
- Always go for the leafy greens like spinach, romaine and kale. They are full of fiber and vitamins ranging from A – K.
- Pumpkin pie is a much better choice for dessert than pecan pie in terms of fat, fiber and vitamin A.
- Wines and wine spritzers are much better than drinks made with liqueurs.
- Skip the eggnog and spiced cider and instead order hot cocoa.
- If you are heading for the fresh vegies, choose hummus to dip them in not ranch or dill dips that are usually made with sour cream.
- If you can’t resist the bowl of nuts, choose almonds, cashews, pistachios or walnuts over pecans and macadamia nuts.
Also make sure that you don’t overlook the basics of a healthy lifestyle just because you are busy enjoying the holiday season. It is a dangerous mistake older adults often make. Be sure you remember to:
- Drink 8 to 10 glasses of water each day
- Get 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week
- Take your blood pressure as often as recommended by your physician
- Limit your alcohol consumption
- Monitor blood-sugar levels as directed
- Take all medications as prescribed
What is the hardest healthy lifestyle choice for you to maintain during the holidays? Is it food selections? Exercise? Monitoring blood pressure or blood-sugar?
Should you have questions about senior living, we encourage you to call the Heritage community nearest you. We’ll be happy to help!
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 12, 2013 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
If a parent, grandparent or older adult you love lives in a senior living community, finding a holiday gift for them might feel like a test of your imagination. Most residents of an assisted living community have limited space and have much of what they need provided. Gifts that are often appreciated by residents tend to be those that are focused on family, friends and hobbies.
Here are a few suggestions we’ve found to be popular among our residents:
- Making Memories. Scrapbooks, photo albums and videos that can be watched and looked at over and over are some of the most beloved gifts. You could even pull together what you need to make a scrapbook and bring it to your loved one so you can create it together after the holidays.
- Gift Cards. Sometimes older adults in an independent or assisted living community live on a tight budget. Affording extras like the hair salon or lunch out in the community can be tough. Gift cards can allow them to indulge in something they normally wouldn’t be able to afford.
- Back to nature. Almost everyone loves nature. For older adults who might have a little difficulty getting around, a well-placed bird feeder on or near their window can bring nature to them. Don’t forget the bird seed!
- Cards and Games. Group game times are a popular part of the activities programs in senior living communities. Purchasing a new game that can be played with neighbors will likely be a hit!
- Flower of the month club. If you are looking for a way to brighten up your loved one’s life all year long, consider signing up for a monthly floral delivery. If you select seasonal flowers, the cost will be more affordable.
- A Nintendo Wii. It isn’t just for kids! The Nintendo Wii has become very popular with seniors. It is a fun activity to do with friends and a great form of exercise.
We hope we’ve given you some good ideas to make holiday shopping for the older adult you love a little easier. If you have some suggestions we’ve overlooked, we would love to hear them. Please share them!
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