by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Feb 12, 2014 | Dear Donna, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My great aunt lives on a large, wooded farm in mid-Michigan. Unfortunately, she is almost 90 miles away from us. We bought her an iPad during the holidays and are trying to find ways to encourage her to use it to keep in touch with us and to connect with other homebound seniors. Do you have any advice to offer us on ways she can safely make those connections?
Sandy in Saginaw, Michigan
Dear Sandy:
What a thoughtful gift and a great way to help your aunt stay in touch with you! According to a study from Pew Internet Research adults 65 years and older are the fastest growing social media demographic and tablets, like an iPad, are easy for seniors to use. After you have your great aunt set up, preferably with WiFi in her home, here are a couple of sites you can help her navigate as you are teaching her how to use her iPad:
- Skype or another free video chat service. This may be the very best way to help her feel connected with you and other far away family members. It also offers you peace of mind by allowing you to “see” her for yourself every few days.
- Find friends on Facebook. Helping your aunt set up a Facebook page (complete with privacy settings) is another way for her stay in touch. She might be able to reconnect with childhood friends and neighbors that she has lost touch with over the years. It might also help her save money if she “Likes” some of her local merchants so she can watch for sales.
- Set up an email account. This is still the place where older adults spend the majority of their online hours – reading and responding to email messages. Having email access will allow her to keep in touch with you and other loved ones more easily.
- AARP Online. Their site is rich with resources, helpful articles, entertainment opportunities, online communities and more. You will find information on topics ranging from healthy eating in later life to travel tips for seniors.
We hope this helps your aunt get started on her new iPad!
All the best,
Donna
Are you an older adult who enjoys staying connected through social media?
Do you have any tips to share with Sandy? Please add them in the Comments below.
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 31, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
My brother and I will be visiting our elderly mother to tackle the topic of senior living this month. She lives in Holland, Michigan and we both live out of state. When we were visiting with her during the holidays, it was obvious to us that it is time for her to move. She just isn’t safe living alone any longer. We are concerned about how much this will all cost. While she isn’t a low income senior she does live on a fixed income. How do most families pay for assisted living in Michigan? We are trying to get our research done before we head back to our mother’s house this month.
Kristina
Dear Kristina:
It is a great idea to spend some time researching your options before you talk with your mother, and paying for care is usually one of the first questions we hear. Adult children from across the state of Michigan call our communities every day with your same concerns. The good news is that affordable senior housing is possible. Paying for a quality senior care solution for a loved one doesn’t mean an adult child has to mortgage everything they own. In fact, most families use a combination of resources to finance senior housing. They can include:
- Long-term care insurance: Many adult children overlook this when trying to finance in-home care or assisted living. They think the policy only covers a nursing home stay. In fact, many pay for other levels of care. Be sure to check in to this if your mother has a policy.
- Veteran’s Aid & Attendance Benefit: This is additional money available for veterans and/or a surviving spouse who qualify. If your father was a veteran or your mother is one, this is a great avenue to explore.
- MI Choice: Often referred to as the “waiver” program, it is designed to help Michigan residents who meet certain income and asset criteria finance senior care. If an elderly resident in Michigan qualifies, it can help with assisted living expenses.
- Life settlement solutions: These programs allow the elderly to sell an active life insurance policy for a cash amount greater than the surrender value but less than the face value or death benefit.
- Senior living line of credit: Several companies that offer these types of loans to help finance senior living. These short-term loans can be used, for example, while waiting for the sale of a home to be completed or a better time to liquidate an asset.
- Private funds: Most families do have to use at least some private funds to pay for an assisted living community for a senior loved one. It is typically money from savings, investments or the sale of a home
We hope this helps you, Kristina! We encourage you or your brother to call one of our local Michigan communities, including one we have near your mother in Holland, if you have any more questions.
Donna
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 24, 2014 | Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
If you are one of the 50 million adults in the U.S. that lives with arthritis, you may be feeling the effects of a Michigan winter in your joints. Arthritis pain often rises as the mercury level falls. What natural methods can older adults take to manage the pain of arthritis? Here are 9 suggestions for you to try:
- Find ways to keep moving. Even though it seems like the last thing you want to do when you are in pain, exercise is important for managing the pain of arthritis. Ice and snow might keep you from talking your daily walk during winter months. Consider investing in a treadmill or exercise bike to use during inclement days. Many senior centers have bulletin boards where you can find a used one inexpensively. You can also consider seated activities like chair yoga and Body Recall.
- Warm up your joints. Older adults often say one of the best things for their pain is a hot bath or shower. Warming up those damaged joints can provide relief. If you have a YMCA or other rehab center near you, find out if they have an aquatic therapy program you can join.
- Watch your weight. We know how important maintaining a healthy weight is, but for those with arthritis it is doubly so. Each extra pound of weight you carry around puts three to four extra pounds of pressure on your knees. A weight loss of just five pounds can translate to 15 – 20 pounds less pressure on your knees!
- Give your hands a paraffin dip. The kits to do an in-home paraffin dip have fallen significantly in the past few years. You can purchase one for under $30 now. They allow you to heat up the paraffin and soak your hands in it. Some can also accommodate feet! If your hands and feet are the source of your arthritis pain, this is a good investment.
- Have your vitamin D checked. During the cold months of a Michigan winter, many seniors don’t get outside much. That puts you at greater risk of a vitamin D deficiency. Ask your family physician about having a blood test to check your vitamin D. You might need a supplement or prescription dose to pump up your D.
- Consider supplements. Talk with your physician about this first, but consider a supplement to help manage arthritis pain. The Arthritis Foundation has a list of those that science supports and those believed to be harmful. Just be sure to discuss this with your physician and pharmacist to avoid drug interactions.
- Food choices matter. Add more inflammation-fighting foods to your diet. Those include berries, grapes and plums, as well as omega-3 rich foods like fish and nuts. Adding ginger to recipes can also help with inflammation.
- Vitamin C may help. Foods rich in vitamin C are now being linked to new collagen production. That is a critical component of cartilage. For those living with joints damaged by arthritis, bell pepper, oranges, kiwi, cauliflower and strawberries might be good dietary choices to make.
- Drink your green tea. The benefits of this little tea leaf are numerous and include helping to block the chemicals in your body that are believed to cause inflammation. That might help prevent cartilage from breaking down more.
We hope one or more of these suggestions helps you find relief this winter!
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 16, 2014 | Caregiving, Uncategorized
Adult children often have difficulty discussing financial matters with an aging loved one. In many families, finances just aren’t discussed. Now, as a senior loved one grows older, those conversations are more and more important ones to have. Do you know if they have a will or durable power of attorney and where you might find those documents? In the event of a crisis, would you know what bills your parent has that might need to be paid? Many times an elder crisis is caused by a gradual decline that you see coming, but often times there is no warning. A slip on an icy Michigan sidewalk can send an aging loved one to the hospital and then to rehab. Would you be able to locate the financial and medical documents you need to help them?
To make it easier to get started, we have pulled together a list of basic questions to ask your senior loved one before a crisis occurs.
Important Documents and Medical Cards
- Where is their Medicare card?
- Do they still have traditional Medicare or have they gone with a Medicare replacement product? If they have, what is the company name and where is the card?
- Do they have any type of secondary insurance? If so, what company is it with and where is that card?
- What is their social security number and where do they keep their card? (This is a good time to remind them that this should be stored in a safe place to avoid identify theft and not kept in a wallet or purse)
- Do they have a will? Who is the executor? Is there an attorney involved?
- Where is their original birth certificate?
- Do they have any life insurance and/or long-term care policies?
- Do they have a Power of Attorney (POA) and/ Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)? Who have they named to represent their wishes? Where are these documents? (In the event of a crisis, it is important to have copies on hand and not have to wait for a bank to re-open on Monday should a crisis occur on a weekend.)
Managing Finances
- What banks do they use and what are their bank account numbers and passwords? Do they use online accounts?
- Are you or another loved one on the account with them? In the event of an emergency that would require you or another adult child to pay their bills for them would you have authority to do so?
- Do they have a safe deposit box? If so, where is it and where are the keys?
- What bills do they have and when do they pay them?
Assets
- Where is their mortgage information or deed to their house? What home owners insurance do they have?
- If they are still driving, is their car paid for in full? Where is the title to the vehicle? Who is it insured through?
- Do they have a list of their stocks, bonds, and other accounts?
Just the thought of asking your senior loved one these questions might make you squirm. But the consequences of not knowing the answers may put your loved one at risk of not getting the help they need and want in a crisis.
Have we missed anything? Please share any questions we’ve missed in the comments below!
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by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Jan 10, 2014 | Caregiving, Dear Donna, Uncategorized
Dear Donna:
During our family visit to my mother’s house in Traverse City, Michigan over the holidays, I came to the conclusion that she just isn’t safe living alone any longer. The change in her condition from last year to this year is quite dramatic. I was so shocked to see how much has changed! Mom has lost a lot of weight, her house was a mess and she is always forgetting to take her heart medications.
I know now that I need to find a senior living community in northern Michigan for her to move to this winter. I’m just not sure what to look for and where to start. Can you offer me any advice? One question I’m wondering about is whether or not I should visit some of the communities before I talk with my mom about moving.
Patty
Dear Patty:
I’m sure there are a considerable number of adult children who came to the same conclusion about their aging parent over the holidays. Many transitions to senior living communities begin at the prompting of an adult child.
Your question about when to involve your mother is one we hear quite often from families who are first beginning this search. The question is a tough one to answer because it really depends upon your personal situation.
If you think making a move is something your mother is ready for and may welcome, it is probably best to involve her right from the start. Some adult children we work with are surprised at how willing their parent is to move, especially those who have become fearful of living alone.
On the other hand if you feel your mother will be resistant, it may help to educate yourself on senior living and explore options before you tackle the topic with her. By eliminating some of the assisted living communities you know won’t work for her and narrowing the choices to those that might, you can make the process easier for her.
Here are a few factors to take in to consideration as you begin your search for care for a Michigan senior loved one:
- What is important to them? For example, do they have a pet they won’t move without? Do they want to be close to their church or to where their grandchildren are?
- Can a community accommodate their care needs now and in to the future? That is always a good question to ask the staff at each of the communities you talk with during your search. The last thing you want to have to do is move your mother again in a few months because she needs more care.
- How much space will they realistically need? This can be a real sticking point for some seniors, especially if they are moving from a large home. What do they really want and need to be able to take with them when they move?
- What type of environment will best suit their personality? Do they like to dress more formally for dinner or are they more comfortable in jeans and sneakers?
- Will they need transportation to physician appointments and for other errands? Assisted living communities all offer different types of transportation and at different prices.
I hope this helps you get started in your search, Patty. Please feel free to call one of the Heritage Senior Living communities if you need additional advice or guidance!
Donna
by trevor@addfuelfire.com | Dec 31, 2013 | Caregiving, Healthy Aging, Uncategorized
For readers of our blog that are family caregivers, we have an idea for 2014 we would like to share with you. We know that your role as caregiver for someone you love creates considerable stress for you every day. The job is physically exhausting and emotionally challenging. As we head in to a New Year instead of making New Year’s resolutions you probably won’t have time to keep, consider adopting one little word.
The One Little Word Project was created seven years ago by author Ali Edwards. Edwards felt that by adopting one simple word for the year, she would be able to keep her life centered. Her word would give her focus as she went about her daily life. Her project has taken on a life of its own and been widely adopted by individuals ranging from physicians and nurses to emergency services workers.
In lieu of a making a list of resolutions this New Year’s Eve, pick one word that summarizes your goal for 2014. Own that word throughout all of the year. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your caregiver duties or sad about the change in health you see in your loved one, focus on your word.
How can you get started?
Think about what you hope for in 2014.
- Are you trying to be grateful for each day you have with an elderly loved one and live in the moment? Maybe your word could be PURPOSEFUL.
- Struggling to convince yourself that good enough will do as you juggle all of your roles in life? Try adopting ACCEPTANCE as your word in 2014.
- Trying to let go of worrying too much about things you can’t control? Make your word BELIEVE.
Get the idea? Think about your struggles and your hopes and pick a word. If you keep this up year after year, your word may begin to find you.
We’d love to hear from some of you who adopt a word! Please share your journey with us next year…
