by Shelley | Nov 4, 2025 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
For the holidays, my family and I will be heading back to my hometown. I would like to visit an aunt I was always close to who resides in an assisted living community. She never had any children of her own, so my siblings and I make a point of staying in touch with her.
It’s been several years since I’ve seen her in person, and I would like to catch up with her and have my kids get to know her. While I’m excited to reconnect with my aunt, I’m also a little apprehensive. I’ve never been to an assisted living community before.
Is it okay to visit during the holidays? Are there certain hours we should go? Any tips would be much appreciated.
Carole in Holland, MI
Tips for Visiting a Senior in Assisted Living During the Holidays
Dear Carole:
As you know, the holidays are a season when families come together, share memories, and celebrate traditions. For seniors residing in assisted living communities, this time of year can be both joyful and difficult.
Residents like your aunt might enjoy participating in the many social activities that take place in communities this time of year. The environment is usually festive and bright. But feelings of loss, such as of a spouse, health, or a home, can also be more persistent during the holidays.
Your visit can make a meaningful difference, bringing comfort, warmth, and a sense of family to your aunt. Here are some tips to help a first-time visitor make the most of their time with a loved one:
- Call ahead and plan around the community schedule.
Assisted living communities often host holiday events, meals, and outings for residents. Before visiting, call the community to find out if there are any scheduled activities. This helps you plan your visit for a time that doesn’t conflict with other festive happenings. Depending on what activity is on the schedule, your family might even be able to join in.
- Bring holiday cheer (in moderation).
Check in with the staff before you visit to see if your aunt’s apartment or suite is already decorated for the holidays. If not, a few thoughtful decorations can brighten her space. A small tabletop tree, a wreath for the door, or battery-operated string lights can bring the holiday spirit without overwhelming the room.
Just remember to keep decorations simple, safe, and easy to store for next year. Also, since you live out of town, talk with other family members to see if someone can help remove the decorations when the season ends.
Small, meaningful gifts can bring joy to a resident of an assisted living community. Consider items like cozy, non-skid socks, puzzles, a framed family photo, large-print books, or a favorite holiday snack. Personalized gifts or homemade items often mean the most.
Avoid clutter or anything that might be difficult for them to use or manage. Also, be mindful of the fact that many assisted living apartments have a limited amount of storage space. So, gift cards, “experience” gifts, and smaller items are usually best.
- Take a walk or visit common areas.
Finally, if your aunt is mobile and the weather allows, ask her to show you around the community. You can go for a stroll around the grounds and meet some of the residents and staff. It’s also a good opportunity to show your loved one you care about their daily life.
Meeting the team also makes it easier for you to check in with them if you are concerned about your aunt’s well-being. They’ll know who you are and you’ll be able to put a face to a name when you call.
I hope this helps make your first visit go more smoothly!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Nov 4, 2025 | Healthy Aging
Getting a good night’s sleep is essential at any age. However, getting a full night of deep, restorative rest often becomes more challenging as we grow older. Many older adults report difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early. According to the National Council on Aging, as many as 70 million adults live with persistent sleep problems.
While some changes in sleep patterns are natural with aging, poor sleep is not something you just have to accept. There are effective strategies to improve sleep quality and feel more refreshed each morning.
Understanding Age-Related Sleep Changes
As we age, our body’s internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm, shifts. That can lead to earlier bedtimes and wake-up times. Sleep may also become lighter, making older adults more sensitive to disturbances such as noise or light. Medical conditions, medications, and stress can further disrupt sleep.
However, it’s a myth that older adults need significantly less sleep. Most seniors still require about 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. The key is improving the quality of that sleep.
Here are a few suggestions for you to explore if you are a senior struggling with sleep problems:
- Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day—even on weekends—reinforces your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle. Consistency helps train your brain to recognize when it’s time to wind down and when it’s time to wake up.
If you need to adjust your sleep schedule, do so gradually. Try to change your sleep time by no more than 15–30 minutes at a time until you reach your desired routine.
- Create a sleep-friendly environment.
Your bedroom should be cool, quiet, and dark. Use blackout curtains, white noise machines, or earplugs if necessary. Make sure your mattress and pillows provide proper support for your body. A clutter-free, calming bedroom helps signal to your brain that it’s time to rest.
Also, keep screens (TV, phone, tablet) out of the bedroom or at least turn them off an hour before bedtime to reduce exposure to blue light, which can suppress melatonin production.
- Stay physically active during the day.
This one might seem like a tall order when you are sleep deprived and feeling tired. But regular physical activity, such as walking, swimming, or yoga, can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep.
Sleep experts encourage people to aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. However, avoid vigorous workouts within 2–3 hours of bedtime. They may be too stimulating and make it even harder to fall asleep.
- Watch your diet and caffeine intake.
What you eat and drink impacts your sleep. Avoid large meals, spicy foods, and caffeine late in the day. Caffeine can stay in your system for up to 8 hours, so switch to decaf or herbal tea in the afternoon.
While some people think alcohol helps them sleep better at night, experts say that’s just not true. Alcohol may make you feel sleepy at first, but it can interfere with sleep quality later in the night.
While short naps (20–30 minutes) can be refreshing, late-day or long naps may make it harder to fall asleep at night. It can be a difficult cycle to break, especially when you are feeling worn out from a lack of sleep. If you need to nap, try to do so before 3 p.m.
- Manage stress and mental health.
Anxiety, depression, and loneliness can negatively impact sleep. That’s where mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or gentle stretching before bed can help relax your mind. Talking to a counselor or joining a support group of peers who share similar struggles may also be beneficial if stress or difficult emotions are affecting your rest.
- Consider starting a sleep diary.
Keeping a sleep journal can help you identify patterns or habits that might be affecting your sleep. Record your bedtime, wake time, naps, what you ate, physical activity, and how you felt the next day. Share this information with your health care provider if you’re having ongoing issues.
If despite your best efforts, you still can’t get a good night’s rest, schedule an appointment with your doctor. Many common medications, including those for high blood pressure, allergies, and depression, can interfere with sleep. Another health condition, such as restless leg syndrome or sleep apnea, could be keeping you up. Your doctor might even want to refer you to a sleep specialist for further testing.
Follow the Heritage Blog for More Updates
If you are an older adult or the family caregiver for one, we encourage you to bookmark our blog and visit often. Each week, we share new articles on topics ranging from beating the winter blues to using technology to virtually visit faraway family members.
by Shelley | Nov 4, 2025 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad came to stay with my husband and our family this spring. He had been living alone since my mom passed away two years ago. We felt like he was spending too much time alone and not socializing much. It was negatively impacting his mental and physical well-being.
Mom and Dad used to host Christmas every year. My brother and his family would fly in for a few days and stay with my parents. Since we sold the house before moving Dad in with us, however, this year will be different. My brother has decided they won’t be coming for a visit until after the new year.
I’m hoping to find ways for my dad and my brother’s children to visit virtually throughout the holiday season. Like my kids, they are teenagers. So, I’m finding it difficult to come up with good ideas. Do you have any suggestions?
Sincerely,
Caitlyn in Traverse City, MI
Virtual Ways Grandparents and Teens Can Connect This Christmas
Dear Caitlyn:
What a good observation on the part of you and your husband. Loneliness and isolation among older adults are linked to a variety of health issues ranging from depression to diabetes. It is very thoughtful to move your dad in with you, even temporarily.
The holiday season is a time for family, love, and connection. When distance or circumstances prevent grandparents and teenagers from gathering in person, technology offers creative ways to stay close and make meaningful memories together. Here are some fun and heartwarming ways to bridge the generational gap virtually this Christmas.
- Virtual holiday movie nights
Pick a classic Christmas movie, such as Home Alone, Elf, or The Santa Clause, and watch it together using a platform like Teleparty or Zoom. Don’t forget to encourage movie snacks for all parties involved!
- Holiday recipes and virtual cooking sessions
Food brings people together, even over video chat. Grandparents can walk teens through a cherished family recipe while cooking “together” on a Zoom call. This shared experience not only teaches cooking skills, but also keeps family traditions alive.
Games like Scrabble GO, Words with Friends, or online card games can be another fun way to connect. For something more personal, try trivia games based on family history. Have the teens prepare questions about the family tree, and grandparents can share stories sparked by the answers.
- Digital holiday scrapbooking
Use platforms like Canva or Google Slides to create a shared digital scrapbook. Grandparents can upload old Christmas photos, and teens can add modern touches, captions, or music. It’s a collaborative way to share memories and learn about each other’s experiences.
- Christmas karaoke or caroling via video chat
Nothing says holiday spirit like singing together. Host a virtual karaoke or caroling session. Teens can create a playlist, and everyone can join in from their living rooms. Don’t forget to video record it so you can have it for many years to come.
Connecting across generations doesn’t require being in the same room—it just takes intention, creativity, and a little digital magic. This Christmas, let the spirit of togetherness shine, no matter the distance.
Kind regards,
Donna
Tour Independent Living at Heritage Senior Communities
Retirement is a season in life most of us look forward to for many years. But the reality of maintaining a home can limit how you spend your time and money. If you are ready for a more hassle-free lifestyle, we encourage you to explore independent living communities that are a part of the Heritage family.
This popular type of senior housing offers older adults freedom, flexibility, and friendship. Call a community near you to schedule your private tour today!
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My dad has been on his own since my mom passed away two years ago. She was sick for a long time and my dad was her primary caregiver.
I am increasingly concerned about how lonely and isolated he has become. I live just over two hours away, so I can’t be there more than once a week. My dad has started restricting his driving, which I think is wise.
Recently, I’ve started talking with my dad about moving to a senior living community. From what I’ve learned, I believe assisted living would be a good fit for him. When I talk with my dad about moving, however, he continues to tell me that he’s “not ready yet.”
I’d like to start creating a list of the advantages these communities offer so that I can be more specific when I talk with my dad. I’m thinking I could present individual benefits to him in a low-key manner over time. Can you help me better understand what I should put on my list to share with him?
Sincerely,
Nicole in northern Michigan
Explaining the Benefits of Assisted Living to a Senior Loved One
Dear Nicole:
Thank you for asking this question and for bringing up the phrase “not ready yet.” It is indeed one of the most common responses adult children hear when discussing senior living communities with a family member. The phrase can mean anything from being overwhelmed at the idea of selling a home and moving to being fearful of giving up their independence.
Creating a list of benefits offered by assisted living to gradually share with your dad is a good idea. Planting these seeds might make him more open to the idea of making a move.
As you’ve likely discovered, assisted living communities offer a supportive environment for older adults who need help with daily activities. They do so while allowing residents to maintain as much independence as possible. These communities combine housing, personalized care, and a focus on quality of life.
Here are the key benefits of assisted living:
- Personalized Support with Daily Activities
Residents receive support with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as:
- Bathing
- Dressing
- Grooming
- Medication management
- Mobility
- Toileting assistance
This helps residents stay safe and comfortable while still maintaining autonomy.
- Safety and Security
Assisted living communities are designed with seniors’ safety in mind, offering:
- 24/7 staff availability
- Emergency call systems
- Secure premises
- Fall-prevention features in apartments and bathrooms
These features help reduce risks and provide peace of mind for residents and their families.
- Social Engagement and Community
Loneliness and isolation are common among older adults who live alone. Assisted living offers:
- Group dining
- Clubs and interest-based activities
- Outings and social events
- Shared spaces for interaction
Regular social engagement improves emotional well-being and cognitive health.
- Nutritious Meals and Dining Options
Residents enjoy:
- Balanced, chef-prepared meals
- Accommodations for dietary needs
- Social dining experiences
Proper nutrition supports overall health and can reduce the risk of chronic illness.
- Housekeeping and Maintenance
Assisted living eliminates the burden of home upkeep by providing:
- Housekeeping and laundry services
- Apartment maintenance
- Landscaping and snow removal
This frees up residents to focus on enjoying their time and hobbies.
- Health and Wellness Programs
Many assisted living communities offer:
- On-site wellness classes
- Health checkups, such as blood pressure screenings
- Access to on-site fitness equipment
These programs help residents maintain physical strength, balance, and overall well-being.
Assisted Living Brings Peace of Mind for Families
One final tip is to talk with your dad about how this move will benefit you and other loved ones. You can worry less knowing he is in a safe, secure environment with opportunities to make friends and build a strong social circle. Freeing you from doing hands-on caregiving tasks will allow the two of you to spend more quality time together.
I hope that all of this is helpful to you, Nicole. I’d like to invite you to visit one of our Michigan assisted living communities, even if it is on your own to learn more about our programs and services.
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Sep 28, 2025 | Uncategorized
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive brain disorder that gradually impacts memory, thinking, and behavior. One of the most challenging aspects for both those living with the disease and their loved ones is the way it affects communication. Conversations may become confusing, repetitive, or even frustrating.
Added to that is the physical damage the disease causes to the brain. As Alzheimer’s progresses, a person’s ability to speak becomes more impaired.
Understanding how Alzheimer’s affects communication—and learning strategies to adapt—can help preserve connection, reduce stress, and enhance quality of life.
Tips for Communicating with a Loved One Who Has Alzheimer’s
Here are six common ways Alzheimer’s impacts communication, along with practical tips for managing each challenge.
- Difficulty Finding the Right Words
What Happens:
A person with Alzheimer’s may struggle to recall specific words or names. They might pause mid-sentence or substitute vague or incorrect terms (e.g., calling a watch a “hand clock”).
Work-around:
- Be patient and allow time for the person to find their words.
- If they’re stuck, gently offer the word they’re looking for.
- Avoid correcting them if they use the wrong word unless it’s really necessary.
- Use gestures or visual aids to support understanding. The prompting technique is often very helpful.
- Repetition of Words or Phrases
What Happens:
Repetition is common as short-term memory declines. The person may ask the same question or repeat a story several times, sometimes without realizing it.
Work-around:
- Answer repeated questions calmly and consistently.
- Use written notes or visual reminders (e.g., a whiteboard with today’s schedule) to help reduce anxiety that leads to repetition.
- Distract gently with a different topic or activity if the repetition becomes distressing.
- Avoid saying, “You already told me that.” Instead, respond as if it’s the first time or redirect with kindness.
- Trouble Following or Joining Conversations
What Happens:
As Alzheimer’s progresses, short-term memory is impaired or lost. That makes it more difficult for someone with the disease to follow conversations. This is especially true if the conversation moves quickly, involves multiple people, or covers unfamiliar topics.
Work-around:
- Speak slowly and clearly, using short, simple sentences.
- Stick to one idea at a time.
- Reduce background noise to help them focus.
- Give them your full attention and maintain eye contact to signal engagement.
- Ask yes/no or multiple-choice questions instead of open-ended ones, which can feel overwhelming.
- Loss of Train of Thought
What Happens:
The person may begin a sentence and then lose track of what they were saying. Again, this challenge is usually linked to short-term memory loss. It can be frustrating for the senior and may lead them to withdraw from conversations.
Work-around:
- Offer gentle prompts to help them refocus: “You were talking about your walk today—what did you see?”
- Avoid rushing them or finishing their sentences unless they ask for help.
- Encourage a calm environment with few distractions so they can concentrate better.
- Struggling to Understand Words or Meanings
What Happens:
Understanding spoken or written language may become difficult. Instructions or abstract concepts can be confusing or misunderstood.
Work-around:
- Use simple, direct language and repeat key points if needed.
- Demonstrate actions visually (e.g., pointing or showing) rather than just explaining them verbally.
- Avoid using figures of speech, sarcasm, or jokes that may not be understood. For example, instead of saying, “Let’s hit the road,” say, “Let’s get ready to go outside.”
- Withdrawal from Conversation
What Happens:
People with Alzheimer’s may stop participating in conversations because they feel embarrassed, confused, or overwhelmed. This can lead to isolation.
Work-around:
- Create a safe, supportive space where mistakes are okay.
- Invite them to join in using nonverbal communication, like smiling, holding hands, or sharing photos.
- Focus on shared experiences—music, pictures, or familiar activities can spark engagement even if words are hard to come by.
- Even just sitting quietly together can be meaningful and comforting.
Schedule a Visit to a Heritage Memory Care Community
As a leader in dementia care, Heritage is proud to offer memory care support across the state of Michigan. We invite you to schedule a time to visit and learn more. You might find our respite care services to be of interest if you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia. Call the location nearest you to set up a time!
