by Shelley | Dec 11, 2023 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
I’ll be in Michigan to visit my dad for a few weeks during the holidays. When I visited over the summer, we decided it was time for him to start preparing for a move. While we discussed downsizing to a condominium, we finally agreed that a senior living community might be better.
When I’m back next March, we plan to look for senior living communities that offer independent and assisted living. That way he can enjoy an independent living apartment while having peace of mind that help is available if and when he needs it.
Since my visit will be longer than usual over the holidays, my dad and I thought it might be a good idea to get started. We want to tackle some of the downsizing we’ll need to finish before he moves. He is still living in the large house that he and my mom raised all five of us children in. They weren’t always great about getting rid of things, and he’s been especially bad since she passed away two years ago. So, we have a big job ahead of us.
Do you have any suggestions for how I can get this process started? I don’t want to disrupt his house too much since he will likely be there until May or June. But I think I need to take advantage of the free time we’ll have when I’m in town.
Sincerely,
Lisa (and my dad, Steve) in Sutton’s Bay, MI
Downsizing a Senior’s Home & Preparing for a Move to Senior Living
Dear Lisa and Steve:
It sounds like you have a solid timeline for your anticipated move, so you are off to a good start! Downsizing is one of the biggest challenges families face, especially for older adults who’ve lived in their house for many years.
Here are a few tips that might give you a head start on moving without being too disruptive for the remainder of the winter and spring:
- Start in the rooms least often used: Since you mentioned five kids grew up in your parents’ house, I’m betting there is a lot of childhood memorabilia left behind. It might be good to begin your clean-up efforts in rooms storing these items. It’s usually a good idea to set up different boxes and label them by their ultimate destination. For example, “Charity,” “Family,” or “Other.” You’ll likely need some big trash bags, too. As you make your way through each room, toss items into these boxes or the trash. This is a good system to help you work your way through every room.
- Make decisions about furniture: Most independent living apartments are smaller than a senior’s current home. I’m sure that will be the case for your dad since he’s coming from a big house. It might be a good time to walk through the house and think about what furniture will move with him and what will need to find a new owner. If he has valuable antiques, it might be worthwhile to host an estate sale or to try to sell them online. You can also find out what charities nearby might arrange to pick up furniture and other large household items he will no longer need.
- Consider hiring a senior move manager: Because it sounds like you live far from your father, one more suggestion is to hire a senior move manager. These professionals help handle all of the details of a transition to a senior living community from assisting with the packing process to hiring the movers. They could keep the downsizing process moving during the winter when you won’t be there.
Finally, one more resource you might find helpful is “10 Tips for Downsizing and Moving a Senior Loved One.”
Kind regards,
Donna
Visit a Heritage Community in Michigan During the Holidays
The holidays are a great time to schedule a tour of a senior living community. The hustle and bustle of the season combined with the festive decorations make these communities feel especially inviting. We extend an open invitation to families to call a Heritage community and set up a time to stop by!
by Shelley | Nov 29, 2023 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
I’ve been my mom’s caregiver for over four years. Every year during the holidays, my normal caregiving stress significantly increases. My family always looks forward to the season, but now I dread it. I just can’t seem to find a way to enjoy myself without worrying about my mom.
Do you have any suggestions that can help me better navigate caregiving and holidays?
Sincerely,
Sam in Saginaw, MI
Holiday Survival Tips for Caregivers
Dear Sam:
You aren’t alone. We often hear this from family caregivers. The joys of the holiday season typically come with a whirlwind of activity. From attending the kids’ and grandkids’ seasonal events to baking pumpkin roll for the family potluck, your holiday to-do list might seem never-ending. When you add the responsibilities of caring for a senior loved one to the list, this festive time of year can easily become overwhelming.
Here are a few holiday survival tips you might find useful this year:
- Identify your biggest stressors.
Start by trying to pin down the activities or tasks that are causing you to experience the most anxiety. For family caregivers, there can be a wide range of causes, including:
- Worrying that your loved one will feel left out if you attend holiday gatherings without them
- Struggling to find enough time in your schedule to complete traditional holiday tasks
- Feeling as if you are neglecting your own family’s needs or desires in favor of caregiving duties
Once you’ve identified your sources of stress, it’s easier to find solutions.
Caregivers are often reluctant to ask for help. Many believe no one will care for a loved one like they can. During the holiday season, when the demands on everyone’s time are greater than usual, a caregiver is more likely to experience overload or burnout. Give yourself permission to not only seek outside help in caring for your mom, but to also scale back holiday traditions.
Accept only those invitations that mean the most. Decline requests that require time you don’t have to give, such as baking for the church bake sale or helping the garden club decorate for the holiday parade.
If you don’t have anyone who can help with your mom’s care, consider a few days or a week of respite services at a local assisted living community. That can give you an opportunity to handle holiday tasks, such as shopping and baking, while also attending or hosting seasonal gatherings.
- Remember your happiness matters, too.
Caregivers often put their own well-being low on the list of priorities. They may skip meals or rely on fast foods instead of taking time to plan healthy menus. Exercise and sleep might also be sacrificed. Caregivers may decline party and event invitations they would love to accept. While it may seem like a luxury, it’s also important to make your personal happiness a priority.
I hope this information is helpful to you, Sam. If you decide to explore respite care, I hope you will consider one of the Heritage Senior Communities. Call the location nearest you to learn more!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Oct 30, 2023 | Caregiving
Getting to and from physician appointments can be tough for seniors who have given up or limited their driving, especially those who reside in rural areas that lack public transportation. If adult children live far away or work during the day, the situation can be even more complicated. For some seniors, not having easy, affordable access to transportation is a barrier to obtaining regular, quality health care.
Virtual physician visits, sometimes known as telemedicine, might be a solution to explore. The technology has gotten better and easier to use. Medicare and many insurance companies even cover some e-visit expenses and telehealth services. If you are a senior or a family caregiver, here’s what you should know about connecting with a physician virtually.
Advantages of Virtual Doctor’s Appointments
- Fewer distractions for your physician: Doctors’ offices are very busy places, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Like most employers, physician offices struggle to maintain full staffing. Patients often say their doctor gets interrupted during the appointment, and that they don’t feel as if they have the physician’s full attention. When it comes to virtual appointments, however, some patients say they have found their doctor to be more attentive and focused.
- No sitting around waiting: If you’ve been to a physician’s office in the last few years, you’ve probably spent more time in the waiting room than you did in the exam room. It can be stressful and a little aggravating. When you schedule a virtual physician visit, your home becomes your waiting room. You can fold laundry, do the dishes, or just relax and read a book until the doctor comes on the screen.
- Safety from viruses: Another benefit of not being stuck in a waiting room is you avoid exposure to other patients’ germs. Infections and viruses can be hard for older adults, especially those with a weakened immune system, to fight off. Meeting with your physician online eliminates the risk of catching a bug in the doctor’s office.
- Access to specialists: Patients who have a chronic health condition or life-limiting illness often want a second opinion to make certain their treatment plan allows for the best possible outcome. Accessing specialists used to take a long time in many areas of the country, and was difficult to arrange for people in rural communities with fewer physicians. Through the magic of technology, a patient in Maine can now meet with a specialist in California without ever leaving home.
Is a Virtual Visit a Good Option for You or a Senior Family Member?
Before you schedule your first virtual appointment, there are a few questions to ask the staff at your physician’s office to make sure this option is a good fit:
- Is the technology easy to set up and use?
- Is the senior’s internet fast enough?
- If you run into problems, who is available to help?
- Will your senior loved one’s insurance or Medicare cover a virtual visit? If not, how much will it cost? Do virtual visits have co-pays if they are covered?
There is another option to consider when transportation becomes challenging for an older adult: a move to a senior living community.
Transportation Is a Popular Service at Heritage
One of the most popular services at Heritage Senior Communities is transportation. Community staff makes arrangements to get residents to and from physician appointments, shopping centers, and more. Call the community nearest you to learn more today!
by Shelley | Oct 23, 2023 | Caregiving
If you think the incidences of hacking and online scams are on the rise, you are correct. Experts project cybercrimes will cost the world an estimated $10.5 trillion a year by 2025. But it’s not just big corporations and small businesses that are being targeted.
From Facebook accounts to personal email, people are falling victim to hacking and online fraud every day. It’s a frustrating and frightening ordeal to recover from. For older people who might not be as tech-savvy as younger generations, it’s even easier to be caught up in one of these scams.
We have some suggestions you can share to keep seniors in your life safe online.
Tips to Keep a Senior Safe Online
- Use strong passwords: If it seems like every one of your older Facebook friends has had their account hacked, often multiple times, you might be right. Seniors may be more susceptible because some aren’t aware of how important it is to create strong passwords. Those that contain at least eight characters and are a combination of letters, numbers, and special characters are best. Another tip is not to use your name, loved ones’ names, your address, the name of a pet, or other easily identifiable information. Those are the words potential hackers try first.
- Password protect home Wi-Fi: You’ve likely noticed Wi-Fi accounts that aren’t password protected in your neighborhood when logging into your own. Having an unprotected network makes private information vulnerable. Even people with minimal technology skills can access a network from a car parked outside the home. So, check to be sure your senior’s Wi-Fi network has a strong password.
- Stick to secure websites: More people than ever have discovered how easy online shopping can be. What many aren’t aware of is the importance of shopping only on security-enabled sites. Websites that begin with https:// are usually the safest. The “s” means the user’s data is encrypted as it is being transmitted. Never enter financial or personal information on a site that lacks the “s.” If you or a senior loved one has any doubts about a site, do a quick Google search for reviews or complaints about the company.
- Use social media carefully: Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites are popular online destinations for everyone, including older adults. While they can be a fun avenue for staying in touch with friends and family, there are precautions to be aware of. One is to make sure loved ones know how to enable privacy settings. It’s usually best to keep accounts private so only friends can see your posts. Also, encourage your senior family members not to accept friend requests from people they don’t know offline.
- Click with caution: Receiving an email from a sender you don’t know or a mailing list you never signed up for can be a warning sign of a scam. It’s usually best to delete this type of email without opening it. It might contain a virus. Caution your family members to be especially wary of emails with subject lines promoting anything for “free” or claiming they’ve won a sweepstakes prize. Phishing emails are another concern. They often look like they are from your bank or another financial institution. These types of emails usually contain a link that asks you to update information related to your account. If you click the link, it can give the scammer what they need to steal a person’s identity or financial information.
We hope these tips help you and the older adults in your life stay safe while spending time online. If you suspect a senior loved one has been the victim of a scam that they haven’t told you about, this article will help you learn more.
Bookmark the Heritage Blog
If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to bookmark the Heritage Blog and visit often. Each week, we share new information on topics ranging from healthy aging to caregiving for an adult with dementia.
by Shelley | Sep 18, 2023 | Caregiving
Dear Donna:
My parents have lived in the same home for over five decades. It’s the house my siblings and I grew up in. Unfortunately, it’s no longer a safe place for them to live. There are so many things that I see as being downright dangerous for them. The laundry room is in their old basement, all the bedrooms are upstairs, and the bathroom tub isn’t easily accessible for showers. That’s in addition to both of them needing a helping hand with personal care.
All summer long, we’ve tried talking with our parents about moving to assisted living. However, my dad is convinced it’s a bad time to try to sell their house. And he doesn’t think assisted living communities have openings in the fall and winter.
Do you have any suggestions? The fear that something will happen to one of them in that old house is starting to keep me up at night.
Sincerely,
Lisa in Holland, MI
Moving a Senior to Assisted Living
Dear Lisa:
It sounds like you have good reason to worry about your parents! The reasons your dad is giving you for not moving are likely tied to a fear of change, but there may be other reasons. Since they’ve lived in that house for so long, it’s understandable that they would be reluctant to make a change.
First, anytime of year is a good time to move to an assisted living community. While snow and ice can make moving day a little trickier, most moving companies in Michigan and Indiana are accustomed to working around bad weather. I would also suggest talking with a few realtors about timing the sale of a house. Those we work with often say fall and winter can be good seasons for selling. Because fewer houses go on the market during colder months, sellers have a better chance of attracting serious buyers.
Next, it might be helpful to figure out the real reason your parents are putting off a move that could keep them safer and healthier. A few that we often hear from families are:
- The fear they will lose their privacy and independence. Some older adults aren’t aware that they’ll have their own suite or apartment, even in assisted living.
- Worries that assisted living communities aren’t affordable. Once they realize everything that is included, such as meals, transportation, and utilities, it’s easier to understand the value.
- Concerns that they’ll be forced to participate in activities during the day. While we encourage residents to socialize, it’s up to them to decide how many—or few—programs they attend.
- Inaccurate ideas about what senior living is. The nursing homes of the past were often dark and depressing. Some of today’s seniors mistakenly link that to modern senior living communities.
I hope this information is useful to you, Lisa. I’d like to extend an invitation to you and your parents to attend a special event at a Heritage community or join us for a meal. It’s a great way for them to see firsthand what assisted living has to offer!
Kind regards,
Donna
by Shelley | Aug 28, 2023 | Caregiving, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My parents recently sold their home in another state and moved to Michigan to stay with my wife and me. The arrangement is temporary while we search for a senior living community for them.
I’m trying to get them on track with their health care and nutrition. They have never been very good about going to the doctor, but it got worse in the last few years. Their diet is also unhealthy. The first thing I need to do is find a doctor. They both need a complete physical and likely most of their health screenings, especially bloodwork.
Do you have any ideas for helping me locate a doctor for seniors? I prefer someone who has experience working with older adults. Any tips would be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Steve in Elk Rapids, MI
Finding a Doctor for a Senior Loved One
Dear Steve:
Your question is commonly asked by adult children! Unless an older adult is fortunate enough to have a longtime primary care physician, many find themselves needing to make a change. Because of the shortage of family practice doctors in many areas of the country, this task can be much tougher than in the past.
I do have some suggestions that might make your search easier:
- Investigate physicians in their insurance plan: Since you mentioned your parents moved to Michigan from another state, one factor to keep in mind is their insurance network. If they transitioned to a different Medicare Advantage plan, you’ll need to check to see which doctors are covered. For older adults who are on traditional Medicare, there will probably be more options. Medicare will create a list of doctors near you who accept new patients. You can find this list online or by calling Medicare directly at 1-800-633-4227. (TTY users can call 1-877-486-2048.)
- Ask for recommendations: You can read reviews on a variety of sites, such as Vitals, Healthgrades, and RateMDs. While they can provide some insight, nothing can replace personal referrals. Ask friends and colleagues involved in a parent’s care which physicians they like and dislike. Maybe ask for recommendations on Facebook, too.
- Talk with the hospital discharge planner or social worker: If you have a preferred hospital in your community, they might be able to point you in the right direction. While they likely can’t provide recommendations, many are aware of physicians who work with seniors. Those who work in emergency departments of the hospital sometimes keep a list of physicians who are accepting new patients.
Once you’ve narrowed down your list, call the office to see if they offer meet and greet times for potential new patients. Even a few minutes of a physician’s time might give you an idea of whether they will be a good fit for your parents.
If you find yourself struggling to overcome your parents’ reluctance to see a doctor, we have a few tips. How Do I Get My Dad to See the Doctor Regularly has ideas you might find useful.
Kind regards,
Donna
