by Shelley | Dec 7, 2020 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My husband has been our only driver since my battle with colon cancer two years ago. However, I need suggestions for talking to him about hanging up his car keys for good too. I’ve seen plenty of news stories about older drivers who harm themselves or others in an accident, and I don’t want him to be one of them.
He is 84 years old and has a variety of health conditions. Some of his medications have tough side effects, including drowsiness and dizziness. My husband’s reflexes are slow and he just isn’t flexible enough to stay safe behind the wheel.
I’m not sure how to broach this subject with him. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Margie in Midland, MI
Older Driver Safety Week Kicks Off
Dear Margie:
You’ve expressed a fear many spouses and adult children have. It can be a contentious topic for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the perceived lack of alternate transportation options. Older adults often tell us that knowing they would be able to give up driving played a key role in deciding to move to a senior living community.
Your timing in asking this question is great! The first full week of December is designated as Older Driver Awareness Week each year. It gives me a good opportunity to shine the spotlight on safety and senior drivers.
As you mentioned, tackling the subject with a loved one isn’t easy. A few tips for talking with your husband include:
- Explore transportation options: Before you talk, explore alternative transportation options in your area. Having a list of choices ready to share with your husband may make him more willing to entertain the idea of giving up his keys.
- Ask how he feels: A good way to open the conversation might be to ask your husband how he feels about driving. You might be surprised to learn he is a little fearful about it. He might not have mentioned it before because he thinks the two of you have no other options. Once you agree it’s time for him to stop driving, you can work on a transportation plan together.
- Show him evidence: If your husband isn’t onboard with the idea of hanging up his car keys for good, be prepared to kindly and gently share your concerns about his fitness for driving. Point out any bumps and dents on the car. He might not even know they are there and it could be a wake-up call. Also talk to him about the medication side effects you are noticing.
- Enlist his physician: There are other steps you can take if your husband won’t agree to stop driving. One is to visit his primary care physician together and seek his or her advice. The doctor can perform a physical, including checking his reflexes and flexibility, and objectively review the situation.
I hope these tips make this discussion go a little easier, Margie!
Kind regards,
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities Offer Transportation
Transportation is one of the most popular services at Heritage Senior Communities. Depending upon current COVID-19 conditions, residents can utilize transportation for physician appointments, lunch outings, shopping trips, and more. Call the Heritage community closest to you to learn more!
by Shelley | Nov 23, 2020 | Alzheimer's and Dementia, Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My grandparents live about six hours away from me. We’ve suspected my grandfather was having health issues, but never imagined it would be Alzheimer’s. While relatives visit them almost every month, we never noticed signs of Alzheimer’s.
A few weeks ago, my grandfather became lost while walking the dog. It was terrifying for my grandmother and led to his recent Alzheimer’s diagnosis.
My family and I are trying to learn all we can about the disease. I’m especially seeking advice on how to discuss this with my children. Do you have any suggestions?
Best regards,
Alyssa
Alzheimer’s Disease Resources and Tools
Dear Alyssa:
While some people with Alzheimer’s exhibit the classic sign of forgetfulness early, the symptoms can be more subtle in others. They might include withdrawing from social activities or making mistakes with finances. Then a major event occurs, like your grandfather becoming lost, and the disease becomes more obvious.
You are on the right track in trying to learn about the disease. It will teach you how to support your grandfather now and in the future. Fortunately, resources and tools are much more readily available than in the past.
Visit these sites to read and learn more about Alzheimer’s disease:
- What is Alzheimer’s Disease?: The Alzheimer’s Association created this very comprehensive online resource. It covers everything from symptoms to disease progression and research.
- Inside the Brain: If you like to know the “why” behind everything in life, this brain tour will be of interest. It starts with a detailed explanation of how the brain works and moves on to how Alzheimer’s impacts brain function.
- Alzheimer’s Disease Fact Sheet: Created by the National Institute on Aging, this fact sheet is actually a series of links to useful articles. Topics include clinical trials, treatment, and caregiver support.
Finally, I encourage you to bookmark and follow the Heritage blog. We regularly publish articles like Talking with Kids about Alzheimer’s Disease and Activities for Kids to Do with a Grandparent Who Has Alzheimer’s Disease.
I hope these resources are useful, Alyssa! Feel free to call any of the Heritage Senior Communities if you have any questions about Alzheimer’s disease or memory care. One of our experienced memory care team members will be happy to assist you.
Kind regards,
Donna
Dementia Care at Heritage Senior Communities
Family owned for four generations, Heritage Senior Communities is a respected name in dementia care services. With communities throughout Michigan, we encourage you to visit Specialized Dementia Care to learn more about our unique approach to caring for adults with Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia.
by Shelley | Nov 2, 2020 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
I am a full-time caregiver for my father, who has dementia. I took on the role several years ago, and it has become increasingly demanding. The holidays are especially tough. Because he can’t be left alone, I’m unable to attend any family gatherings. The coronavirus has made everything worse this year.
As we head into the holidays, I know I need to proactively boost my spirit to avoid holiday blues or depression. I already connect with friends and family on Facebook, but do you have any other ideas?
Thank you in advance for your help,
Cindy in Saginaw, Michigan
Staying Connected: Holiday Ideas for Caregivers
Dear Cindy:
Your struggle is one we often hear from caregivers, especially when their loved one has some form of dementia. This year’s coronavirus worries have made caregiving even tougher. The good news is the forced isolation has also brought to light more opportunities for making virtual connections.
While there’s nothing better than being face-to-face with loved ones during the holidays, we have some ideas that might boost your spirit until that is possible again:
- Virtual game night: For many families, games are an essential part of holiday gatherings. Platforms like Houseparty, Zoom, and Skype make it easier to play virtually. Houseparty, for example, allows you to play games together no matter your location. This app has games like Finish the Lyrics and Heads Up: Act It Out.
- Cookie exchange: Another idea might be to bake and share cookies with friends, then follow up with a video chat. Make a few batches of your signature cookies and divide them up among friends. You can arrange for pickups from your house or mail them to faraway friends. Ask them to do the same with their specialties. You can sample cookies via video chat while enjoying a few laughs.
- Holiday caroling: While you might feel awkward initially, singing a couple of favorite holiday carols together can actually be a fun intergenerational virtual event. Create a playlist ahead of time with input from the entire family, young and old. Consider having your loved ones download an app like Sing Along Christmas Carols or Christmas Carols Countdown 2020.
One more suggestion is to join an online caregiver support group. They can provide support to family caregivers who can’t leave home to attend an in-person meeting. You’ll be able to chat virtually with peers who understand and empathize with your situation. How to Connect with an Online Support Group offers useful tips for exploring your options.
Finally, I would encourage you to take a few minutes each day to call a friend or loved one. Even a quick chat can make all the difference.
I hope this information is helpful, Cindy!
Kind regards,
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities
If you have questions about senior living or are a caregiver wondering what type of care might be best for a family elder, we’d like to make sure you find answers. Call the Heritage community nearest to your Michigan or Indiana home, and one of our experienced team members can help!
by Shelley | Oct 5, 2020 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My grandmother is an active 92-year-old. Due to coronavirus concerns, she meets with friends and family outdoors, which I’ve heard is safer. However, I worry that she is still out and about a little too much.
As flu season approaches, I think the time has come for me to talk with her about prevention. While I love that she is so independent, I worry her risk for getting seriously ill will be even higher.
Do you have any tips I can share with my grandmother to help her avoid the seasonal flu?
Sincerely,
Kaisey in Grand Haven, MI
Seasonal Flu Prevention in a Time of COVID-19
Dear Kaisey:
Sounds like your grandmother has been blessed with good health, and her active lifestyle probably helps. That said, you are right to be concerned about her safety amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Experts predict this flu season could be rough.
Here are a couple helpful tips to share with your grandmother about flu prevention:
- Get the annual flu vaccine: Unless your grandmother’s physician advised her against the flu shot due to an allergy or other health concern, it’s one of the best prevention steps adults of all ages can take. The general recommendation is to get vaccinated in early- to mid-October to give the body time to build immunity. Advise your grandmother against waiting to see how bad the flu season gets, as some seniors are prone to do.
- Practice healthy self-care: It’s important for you, your grandmother, and anyone else she regularly comes in contact with to take good care of yourselves. That can help each of you build immunity and avoid catching a bug and passing it to one another. Eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and lean protein is a great start. Exercising for 30 minutes at least 5 days a week is vital, as is getting a good night’s sleep. Hydration also matters. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day and consuming foods high in water content (e.g., cucumber, melon, and leafy greens) can both prevent dehydration.
Many of us have heard these final suggestions repeatedly since the COVID-19 pandemic began last spring, but it’s good to revisit them:
- Maintain physical distance: Physically distance from people in public. When flu season is peaking, avoid crowds as much as possible. If you must be in public, maintain a distance of 6 feet from others.
- Wear a mask: While initially debated, mask wearing became essential as researchers learned more about the novel coronavirus. Doing so is a good prevention measure for both the seasonal flu and the coronavirus.
- Practice good hygiene: Washing your hands for 20–30 seconds in warm, soapy water several times throughout the day is another must. For times when you don’t have access to soap and water, keep a small hand sanitizer in your pocket or purse. Make sure it contains at least 60% alcohol.
I hope these tips help, Kaisey! Wishing you and your grandmother good health and many more happy times together.
Kind regards,
Donna
Learn More About Flu Shots
At Heritage Senior Communities, we take the seasonal flu seriously. That includes creating informational resources for residents and their families to read. “Seniors, It’s Time to Get Your Flu Shot!” and “Flu Shot Questions from Alzheimer’s Caregivers in Michigan” are both useful articles to help you learn more.
by Shelley | Sep 7, 2020 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My 78-year-old mother lost her balance on a small step and suffered a nasty fall. She wasn’t seriously injured, but was badly bruised. While my mom blamed the shoes she was wearing, I think there is more to it.
One change in her well-being my family and I have noticed recently is weight loss. I’m wondering if it might be linked to her fall. Do you have any fall prevention tips I can use to lower my mom’s risk? We know she might not be as lucky should she experience another fall.
Sincerely,
Chris in Saline, MI
Fall Prevention Awareness Day
Dear Chris,
Sounds like a frightening experience for your mother and you! I’m glad she wasn’t more seriously injured. Many seniors who’ve experienced a bad fall worry it will happen again. It can create a great deal of anxiety, so I hope she’s coping with that challenge.
Your question about preventing falls is common, especially from worried adult children. Understandably so when you know how common and dangerous falls are for seniors:
- Falls are the leading cause of both fatal and non-fatal injuries for seniors.
- Every year, 1 in 4 adults over the age of 65 experiences a fall.
- A senior is treated in a hospital emergency room for injuries related to a fall every 11 seconds. Every 19 minutes, one of those older adults loses their life.
- People who fall once are more likely to do so again. Seniors often limit activity to prevent another fall. It can result in a lonely, isolated life.
These statistics are why September 22 is designated as Falls Prevention Awareness Day every year. It’s a day to inform the public about the dangers of falls, especially among our elders.
Here are a few suggestions to consider for your mom’s safety:
- Visit the doctor: If your mother didn’t go to the emergency room after her fall, I would recommend a follow-up visit with her primary care physician. The doctor is the best person to render advice on possible causes.
- Examine her diet: Unintended weight loss can be a sign of an underlying health concern. If her doctor determines she is healthy, it could be the result of a poor diet. That is fairly common, especially among seniors who live alone. You might need to come up with healthy meals you can cook and freeze or explore home-delivered meal programs.
- Focus on hydration: Dehydration can also increase the risk for a fall. Check with her physician, but the general recommendation is to drink 8 glasses of water each day. Foods with high water content, like berries, melon, lettuce, and tomatoes, can also help.
- Conduct a home safety audit: Most homes weren’t built with the safety needs of older adults in mind. Uneven stair treads, bad lighting, and poorly designed bathrooms can all contribute. Conducting a home safety assessment, or hiring a professional to do one for you, can identify potential hazards to address.
- Build core strength: If your mother has been leading a fairly sedentary life, she might need some strength training. Her doctor might refer her for a few sessions of physical therapy. That will allow her to learn some exercises she can do at home to stay strong.
- Check medication side effects: Another potential concern can be found in her medicine cabinet. Medications may be contributing to her unsteadiness. Some have side effects that include dizziness and dehydration. Each of those can put your mother at increased risk for a fall. Talk with her pharmacist if you have any questions.
I hope this information is helpful, Chris! I wish you all the best in creating a fall prevention plan for your mother.
Kind regards,
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities Is Here to Help
If you have any questions related to independent living, assisted living, or memory care, we encourage you to call the Heritage community nearest you. One of our experienced team members will be happy to help!
by Shelley | Aug 3, 2020 | Dear Donna
Dear Donna:
My father has always loved nature and spending time outdoors. At 92, he’s still an avid outdoorsman. While I don’t want to squelch his enthusiasm, his safety is a big concern.
Dad is living with my husband and me and routinely heads outside on his own to birdwatch or walk through our woods. Do you have any tips for helping him stay independent but safe?
Sincerely,
Stephanie in Traverse City, Michigan
Summer Safety and Older Adults
Dear Stephanie:
Good for your Dad! It’s likely that your father’s commitment to nature and physical activity keep him going strong at 92. Research shows a sedentary lifestyle can lead to early mortality. Some even say it’s as bad as smoking. But your concern for your father’s safety is understandable.
Here are a few suggestions to keep him healthy while providing peace of mind:
- Provide sunscreen: Most of your father’s generation grew up not wearing sunscreen, so it’s essential to remind him to apply it. Sprays might be easier for him to manage on his own. Review these tips with your dad to highlight how important sunscreen is.
- Stay on guard for ticks: As every outdoorsman knows, ticks make their return to Michigan woods and fields during warm months. A quality bug spray might help repel ticks. Also help your dad check his hair, body, and clothing for ticks when he comes back inside.
- Encourage hydration: As we all know, Michigan summers can be hot and humid, even as far north as Traverse City. Make it easy for your dad to stay hydrated by keeping reusable water bottles filled and chilled in the refrigerator. Your dad can grab one on his way out the door. If he doesn’t like water, try adding lemon or berries for flavor.
- Invest in quality footwear: While good footwear is important at every age, older adults should make it a high priority. Weaker ankles and unsteadiness caused by medications can be worse on uneven ground. Falls are the leading cause of serious injury among seniors. Help your father find a pair of shoes with good ankle support and strong soles.
One final suggestion is purchasing an emergency alert device for your father. There are a variety on the market and many are very discreet. They look like a sports watch but allow the wearer to call for help with the touch of a button. Most work off cellular technology that allows an active older adult like your dad to remain safe on the go.
I hope this information helps, Stephanie! And that you and your dad enjoy the rest of the summer.
Kind regards,
Donna
Heritage Senior Communities
With communities throughout Michigan and one in Indiana, Heritage Senior Communities has been family-owned for four generations. Each community operates on our uncompromising core values of honesty, quality, respect, teamwork, potential, and balance. We invite you to call the community nearest you to learn more!
