I am my dad’s primary caregiver, but lately I have been struggling with the stress and to-do list of caregiving.

Do you have any advice that can help me while still respecting his personal needs?

Barbara in Grand Rapids

Tips for Making Caregiving a Little Easier

Dear Barbara,

Caregiving is a big job, and it certainly gets stressful. Fortunately, the right approach to your role can make things easier. Here are a few ways you can improve your caregiving while still preserving your loved one’s dignity.

1. Let your loved one do what they can.

Reduce feelings of stress and burnout by letting your loved one do as much as possible. This not only reduces your workload but lets them preserve some independence.

Whenever possible, you should let an aging family member make their own choices, such as what to wear or when to eat.

If your elder loved one lives independently, look for changes you can make in their home to help them stay independent. For example, installing additional safety bars can help them get around.

Consult with your loved one about their wishes for housing, medical care, and other important choices. As a caregiver, seek to be your loved one’s advocate, not to take over their life.

If you are not sure about how much choice to give, talk to your loved one’s primary health provider. They may be able to provide more insight or suggestions.

2. Get extra help before it’s needed.

Illness and other emergencies may prevent you from caring for your loved one. If that happens, do you know who to call? If not, it’s time to start asking other family, friends, and community resources for help. This will allow you to have a back-up plan in case of emergency.

Create a list of people and organizations you can reach out to. For example, ask other relatives to help out with regular tasks like lawn care or transportation. Search local groups for things like meal deliveries, home health visits, or social activities.

3. Be patient and flexible with yourself and your loved one.

As a caregiver, you will make mistakes sometimes. When that happens, you can acknowledge them, learn from them, and forgive yourself. In your journey as a caregiver, you can get better at making decisions and understanding your loved one’s needs.

When you feel impatient with your loved one, remember what they are experiencing. Aging is a frightening and frustrating process, so be patient as you and your loved one face many changes. Things may not always go according to plan, and that is okay.

You can become a better caregiver.

Being a caregiver does not have to mean that you take over your loved one’s whole life. Respecting their wishes, asking for help, and learning patience can make you a better, more balanced caregiver.

If you need additional help with providing for your loved one’s needs, we are here for you. Contact Heritage Senior Communities to talk about how we can help you provide the best care for your loved one.

I have a great-aunt who really loves to decorate her house during the holidays. Before having everyone over on Christmas Eve, she spends hours decorating. Lately, I’ve heard that seniors are more likely to experience holiday house fires than other age groups, much of which seems to be caused by decorations.

My aunt really goes all out! I don’t want to spoil her fun or seem condescending, but I do want to keep her safe.

What can we do for her in terms of fire prevention without dampening her spirits?

Kind regards,

Chris in Saginaw

Holiday Fire Safety for Seniors in Michigan

Dear Chris,

Thanks for asking such a great question! Unfortunately, you’re right about older adults and their risk of house fires during the holidays. According to the Electrical Safety Foundation International, the rate of house fires goes up dramatically during major holidays. And people older than 65 are twice as likely to be the victim of a home fire during the holiday season as younger adults.

This doesn’t mean that your great-aunt can’t enjoy herself during the holidays. But it is important that she and the rest of your family understand the things that put her at risk so you can take the necessary precautions.

Let’s have a look at what those risks are and what you can do to reduce them.

Fire Risk Factors for Seniors during the Holidays

The sources of holiday home fires often include:

• Burning candles
• Damaged or defective holiday lights
• Live Christmas trees that dry out
• Electrical outlets and extension cords

The best way to broach this subject with your great-aunt is probably to share this information with her. Express your desire to help her have a joyous—but safe— holiday season. Then, offer to provide assistance in helping her reduce these risks so she can focus on staying merry.

Here are some ways to address the risk areas I mentioned above:

• Invest in electrical candles that mimic natural flames
• Only use high-quality indoor lights and make sure to inspect each bulb carefully for cracks or other damage
• Purchase an artificial tree Christmas tree made of flame-retardant materials instead of a live one
• Don’t overload electrical outlets with splitters, extension cords, or adapters
• Design a detailed escape plan in case of a fire —one that takes any mobility problems into account

Thanks so much for the question, Chris. I hope this information is helpful and that you and your family have a safe and happy holiday season.

Sincerely,

Donna

Do you have a senior care question?

Donna loves to help caregivers with questions about their senior loved ones. But if you have a number of questions or have one that needs answered immediately, please contact us. We’d be happy to answer any senior care questions you have or arrange an in-person meeting at one of our senior living communities.

My mom has always looked forward to the holiday season, but this year, she doesn’t seem to have her usual enthusiasm.

 She is sleeping more and is less interested in her favorite holiday activities. What can I do to help her prevent the winter blues?

Kelly in Traverse City

Take Steps to Prevent the Winter Blues

Dear Kelly,

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), or the “winter blues,” is a common form of depression among people in colder climates. Symptoms include low energy, overeating, sleeping more, and less interest in social activities.

There are many ways to help your mother feel better this season.

Eat a balanced diet to improve mood.

Many people with SAD indulge in carbohydrates and other “comfort” foods. This can cause weight gain, blood sugar spikes, and cardiovascular risks.

Help your mom choose more vegetables, fruits, and lean protein, and avoid snacks with refined sugars or sodium. Look for sources of vitamin D, iron, and omega-3 fatty acids, which may help with symptoms of SAD.

Physical activity improves overall well-being.

Research shows that staying active can improve cardiovascular health, maintain weight, and keep blood sugar levels stable. Physical activity has also been found to improve mood and memory among seniors.

If your mom has trouble getting around, she can start small. Just walking around the house, lifting light weights, or doing easy stretches can help.

Fitness centers and YMCAs have many low-impact options like walking tracks, treadmills, or swimming pools. An active video game, such as Wii bowling, is another way to get moving.

Try light therapy to reduce the winter blues.

Many people experience SAD because limited exposure to natural daylight during winter months can cause sleep disruptions and changes in brain chemicals. Special “light boxes” that imitate outdoor light may help.

Do some research to determine which type of light box is best for you. You may wish to speak to your doctor, especially an eye doctor, before making a purchase.

Stay connected to stay happy this winter.

Even if your mom doesn’t feel like socializing – a common symptom of depression – a small get-together with friends or family can make a big difference.

Encourage her to have coffee with a neighbor or invite family members over for the holidays. Joining a local group, such as a book club, also can prevent feelings of isolation.

Talk to a health care professional about seasonal depression.

If your mom is showing symptoms of SAD, it can help to see a doctor.

A healthcare provider may order tests to rule out problems such as anemia or hypothyroidism. He or she can also help determine the best treatment and prescribe medication if necessary.

As a caregiver, help is available to you!

Overwhelmed with the responsibilities of caregiving? Heritage Senior Communities offers short-term options for seniors who need some type of assistance.

We provide a variety of lifestyle options that help our residents ward off the winter blues. Communal dining, physical activities, and medication assistance are just a few of the amenities we offer. Contact us today to learn more about our senior living options!

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